• H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

SEEKING TREATMENT (The Clinic...)

The only thing I can assume that's been taken out of context is that I took more of my prescribed benzo one day when a family member passed away. And, yeah, I went in and told the clinic the next day (as I previously posted). But I've not done anything outside of the Bupe...so, I'm not really sure what you guys mean??
 
That's awesome then. Well done, keep up the great work! I was going off mythreesons post but was also trying to find your post about a relapse but thougjt I must be blind or something! Im glad you're travelling well!

My first drop starts from the first of the month but it's tiny from a large dose so I doubt I'll even notice.
 
Just read back. Think it might have been the benzo thing. Its good you told them about that. I've been tapering BENZOs for a few years and have relapsed 2-3 times on large amounts of xanax over short periods but was able to pick myself up and get back on my taper dose luckily.

I was just re reading everything. Are you still getting sick/headaches from the suboxone? I found after a couple of months I would get the same symptoms but I started spitting out the naloxene and I don't get those symptoms anymore.

Orrr, did it coincide 2-3 weeks after a drop in your benzos? That's always the worst time for me.
 
Yeah, the headaches and nausea did finally go away on their own. Thank goodness. The benzo taper is going ok...having to go really, really slow as I do also get sick when I try to do a major drop from them. But at least I was honest with the people at the clinic and I haven't done anything like that since (taken more benzo's than I was supposed to). I've read a lot about the spitting thing and that seems to help a lot of people. But at the clinic I go to, you have to sit there and let them watch you let the pills dissolve. So, I'm curious if they would let me go spit out all that excess saliva that builds up?? I'm also afraid that if I do spit, I'll spit out the actual Bupe that needs to absorb. So what I've been doing instead of taking all 3 pills at once, I do one at a time. Cuts back on some of the saliva build up...but there's still a good bit in there. I also feel like when I get a lot of saliva like that and I have to swallow that later on in the day I'll get heartburn really bad.
 
I should add that I do still get really sleepy about 4 hours after dosing. Will this ever get better or will it always be this way??
 
Next drop is tomorrow!!! Wish me luck, y'all! I'm feeling good, doing well. No more slip ups with the benzo's! Sometimes you need to pat yourself on the back!!
 
Hope you do well. Tomorrow I have another drop in my oxycodone tapering too. You are not the only one in the same boat if that helps :) Godspeed!
 
Good luck to you, my friend! Positive vibes! It's tough but so worth what we are doing to make that change.
 
Yeah, the headaches and nausea did finally go away on their own. Thank goodness. The benzo taper is going ok...having to go really, really slow as I do also get sick when I try to do a major drop from them. But at least I was honest with the people at the clinic and I haven't done anything like that since (taken more benzo's than I was supposed to). I've read a lot about the spitting thing and that seems to help a lot of people. But at the clinic I go to, you have to sit there and let them watch you let the pills dissolve. So, I'm curious if they would let me go spit out all that excess saliva that builds up?? I'm also afraid that if I do spit, I'll spit out the actual Bupe that needs to absorb. So what I've been doing instead of taking all 3 pills at once, I do one at a time. Cuts back on some of the saliva build up...but there's still a good bit in there. I also feel like when I get a lot of saliva like that and I have to swallow that later on in the day I'll get heartburn really bad.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, been busy with the kiddos.

Take as long as you can with the Benzos, Gah, aren't they horrid? ?. Im coming up to three years on my current taper and haven't had a drop for many months, im not ready. Though the tiny amount im on now does nothing, I know im not ready to handle a drop below 20mg.

Im not sure about them letting you spit it out, I've never had to do that, always dose at home so I guess you would just have to ask. I just can't swallow mine anymore without feeling horrid. If you make sure you wait long enough, you won't lose the bupe. Im on 32 and I've not noticed a difference since I started getting rid of the naloxene (when I take it orally which is rare.). Maybe ask your dr? Im sure that a lot would be unsympathetic to the naloxene side effects and also it's in there for a reason so I think your chances are minimal for that reason :(. Would they swap you to subutex?

Gotta go, kids are hungry but best of luck with your next drop.
 
Well, technically it is Subutex...but I guess the generic is Bupe, or so they've said. I doubt they'll let me spit either. I have to let 3 pills dissolve under my tongue and instead of doing them all at once, I do them one at a time. It takes longer but seems to cut down on the saliva.

Yeah, benzo taper is the hardest. I've quit cold turkey once before...however, my addiction to them then wasn't nearly as bad and hadn't been for as long as it has been now. It's a b**ch!!!
 
Oh ok, well it won't have naloxene in it then if it's subutex. Maybe there's a filler or something making you unwell, dunno.

Definitely understand, I now have 6 strips a day, they make me sick after all this time so I rarely take them orally anymore. I have to split my dose or I get withdrawals but i have more freedom being able to do it at home. Hopefully you won't end up being on it too long.

Yep benzos are the absolute worst. I've CT'd from a lower dose <100mg diazepam, come off a larger dose 400-500mg over 2 weeks which i just could not handle ao this one has taken nearly 3 years so far. I have a feeling I'll be on this dose for a long time to come.

So have you had another drop in the BUPE? How are you going?
 
The 8mg drop has been a struggle so far. I'm not sick to the point where I need to go back up, but I'm probably going to maintain at 8mg for some time before I drop any more. Then the plan is to just drop by mg each time. So...haven't been feeling so good. I feel like I rely on my benzo to make me feel better. And that sucks. I wish I could just close my eyes and make this all go away and start fresh. You know, I look at my 4 year old and I envy how she's been so unspoiled by the world. If I could just go back, knowing what I know now, I would've never taken that first pill...
I swear I wouldn't of. Today is kind of a down day. Feeling pretty depressed and emotional and a little sick. Why did I do this to myself??
 
Hang in there, hopefully soon you will adjust to the drop and the depression etc will level out, ugh withdrawing is such an emotional time:(. I've done it to myself too many times. I know what you mean about your child, I have 5 and sometimes just lie there listening to them giggle and play and hope they stay that way forever, yet I don't ever remember feeling that freedom myself. I don't want any of them to feel like this, ever I've done so much damage to myself yet somehow my brain still romanticises drugs.

Staying on 8mg sounds like a good plan. Let yourself level out and enjoy some stable time and do the rest at your own pace. I definitely know what you're saying about the benzos too, I ended up on such a high dose and generally take 2/3 of my weekly dose on the first day, always hang out for Tuesdays which is stupid. They're a real trap and I'm always trying to think of ways to get more but there is no legal way I can.

Hang in there, your emotions should level out as you adjust to your new dose. I've just dropped as well but only from 32 to 30 a couple of days ago and have taken probably 32 anyway so no change until the end of the week when I have less left. I don't expect il feel any difference at this dose.

Hindsight is a horrible thing isn't it, especially in withdrawals xo
 
Don't beat yourself up, its not productive towards getting you better. Staying where you are for a few weeks sounds like a good plan. You are doing the right thing for yourself and your family so keep your head up!
 
Thanks guys. I needed some uplifting words today. People don't realize how far a little encouragement goes!
 
So today at the clinic I dosed like normal, but they needed me to go talk to the Dr right away. I feel like only some dissolved in my mouth and the rest was swallowed because I was having to talk. Will this make me feel bad? Will I feel the Bupe at all? I asked the dr and he just kind of shrugged it off. Anyone know??
 
So today at the clinic I dosed like normal, but they needed me to go talk to the Dr right away. I feel like only some dissolved in my mouth and the rest was swallowed because I was having to talk. Will this make me feel bad? Will I feel the Bupe at all? I asked the dr and he just kind of shrugged it off. Anyone know??

You will be ok. Suboxone has a really long half life so even if you only absorbed some of your dose you wont go into withdrawal or anything.
 
Good deal. So...I've noticed that over the last 2 weeks, my joints have gotten super stiff and painful. I'm young, but I look like a 90 year old trying to get out of bed in the mornings. My knees are especially bad. I talked to my dr about it today and he acted like it couldn't be a side effect of the Bupe. However, I find that super hard to believe as its only started since getting into treatment. I also have noticed that I don't change positions while sleeping at night. I wake up in exactly the same position as when I fell asleep. So, for example, if I fall asleep on my arms or something, I'll wake up and they'll be totally numb. And parts of my body will just "go to sleep" throughout the day. I'll get that weird tingling feeling. I don't understand it and I don't know what to do. It's starting to be a super painful thing in the mornings...and it has to be Bupe related because it goes away within like 10-15 minutes after dosing. Anyone else had this??
 
You're ontl dosing once a day arent you? I had the EXACT same thing, even as my dose was getting very high, waking up with aching bones, just like withdrawal. The worst time was waking up not being able to move. As soon as I started splitting my dose it went away. I know you have to have supervised doses but Maybe could you talk to your dr about splitting your dose? We all metalabolise opiates differently and for me, I either metabolise it fast, or al a poor metabokiser, meaning it is less effective. There are medical journals on this. You may be like this too?

As far as the swallowed dose. It starts dissolving immediately on contact with moisture so you would have gotten most of it and one slightly lower dose won't make any difference :). Im on 32 and sometimes will only take 8 or less and am fine unless I do that 4 or more days in a row, then I'll feel it.

Nice to hear from you, I was wondering how you were going :). Hang in there
 
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