Seeking Support

[stardust.hero]

This message was sent to me via PM to be posted anonymously.

I came too this morning with the express intention of ending it

It was not meant as a need for help just was my only intention this morning. Alas the heroin I was expecting didn't arrive and I partook in some psychedelics instead. still feel like the world is not for me anymore and I would be better of being rid of it, tomorrow may be the day that I finally end it or realize that I can live without what I have and hate right now. I am so troubled.

Last night I had an un-explainable mex experience with my best friends who was once more than that but is not any longer in being more than friends, I declared my love once more and again and again and ended up being driven home, I embarrassed and ashamed myself. If the heroin had been here today I would have been dead my now, I'm contemplating not committing suicide now due to the psychs strangely enough, and hope that the experience will stop the thoughts tomorrow.

I'm still on the edge as I am feeling like my life is on the edge of disaster and chaos, which could be entralling but could be worse than death itself, so I am not sure what I am attempting to convey in this thread, just that I need help, and I need to speak to someone anonymously if possible to sort out some of the things in my head that happened last night to make myself so sure that today twas going to be be last day on this earth, and I was strangely happy with that notion

 

[mrflowers00]

i've been there did a massive overdose of lithium bicarbonate, olanzapine, cymbalta and promethazine mixed with codiene cough suyrp but after four days of being blacked out and on dialysis i awoke understanding that death isn't what i want for my loved ones and in a sense me as well just try to hold on the best you can things always get better even if it seems they won't