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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

seeking help or advice

B

bufotenin buddy

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 31, 2011
Messages
48
Location
illinois
gonna have to bare with me here guys im still really foggy and im not sure how this site works exactly. i replied to a thread about neurotoxicity and im not sure if anyone will see it so i thought a new thread would alert a moderator or something
 
now that i can function a little better ill give some more details. ive been binging with the crystal, not necessarily doing large amounts just been doing it often its very potent a little goes a long way, so i dont think it was an OD. but for maybe an hour i was braindead i think my brain was completely out of dopamine i was experiencing the depersonalization symptoms but to an extreme. ive had a history with depression even before the ice, do you think this is something that i should seek professional help for right away? i am starting to feel better but that was like nothing ive ever felt, i wasnt a human being, not an alien, or anything else i simply did not exist
 
again please forgive me im not all the way there, i just didnt want my post going unread, i see a lot of people on these forum sites being upset with threads being in the wrong category and what not
 
probably a good idea. its weird when i experienced this before on a MUCH lower level it took 2 or 3 days to get back to normal. but i seem to be recovering fairly quick even though this time was much worse. i dont think its very common with meth either some people i know will smoke all day every day. kinda lost track but ive done maybe a half gram over like 3 days. bumps and small foil hits are very effective
 
really nobody has any thoughts or opinions on this? still feeling foggy and very tired, limbs have all sensation with the occasional freezing pins and needles pain. for the most part feel like a human being again but feeling disconnected from reality brain numbness for brief moments. only slightly able to feel emotions but they are slowly coming back. i ate quite a bit of food and now im going to maybe smoke some buds relax and get some sleep. hopefully my brain can recover from this. ill check back and update my situation after i wake up if anyone cares to hear
 
so didnt sleep long but that little bit of sleep helped. i stil feel fucked up and depersonilized which is scary. but right now im most upset with the fact that like 94 people read this and only 1 replied. now that im more myself looking at my previous posts i was obviously terrified and didnt know who i was or if reality existed. and 94 people didnt even care? thats really sad why does this website even exist? i feel like thats as coldhearted as it gets.
 
Well losing hope, not that these people care but I am going to the hospital I'm worried about brain damage i just don't feel right. I hope this prevents some young kid from doing drugs especially crystal meth I was dumb and now I have to pay for it. I do hope those 94 people see this and feel terrible about themselves
 
I'm pretty sure it's not that 94 people don't care. You have a pretty specific problem that you asked for help with. Not all of those 94 people feel qualified to try to help you, including me.

While I have a little experience with hard drugs, I don't feel that I can help you. I have lost two immediate family members to opiates and meth, and one more is hanging on by a thread.

I hope you went to the hospital and received proper treatment. BL is a very caring and supportive community. When you feel better, and I hope you do soon, you may want to support someone else given your experience. Peace.
 
i understand that, i just feel if i saw someone in the kind of panic i was in i would at least ask if he was ok or say something supportive like "be strong " or "hang in there" I still feel fucked up but nothing like last night. i was practically begging for someone to just acknowledge me so i knew that i was real and still alive
 
important thing is im slowly getting better. they didnt really take me serious at the ER they were thinking more like hallucinations and meth psychosis, asked about me wanting my next hit, i dont want the shit ever again im not a meth head just had got some and was experimenting a little. definitely not dependant on it, i just want my identity back
 
didnt even do that much, it was real crystal not that shake n bake stuff. small bumps throughout the day was all i ever needed or wanted
 
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