Benzos Seeking guidance after having an atypical 3 years on GABA medications, and just had my first taste of withdrawl

[COIL]

So, first of all, I hope this is being posted in the right place. Mods, please let me know if otherwise.

For 1 and a half years ago I began using

Imidazenil​

Imidazenil - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

at the beginning of the pandemic, wishing there was a way I could use benzos without having to go through the whole blackout thing that I am common to do, A friend actually knew the one retailer at the time who carried it, and I would use it daily for months (c-ptsd, GAD, AKA anxious mess) at doses from 0.5 to 5mg until it became innefective. It's an anti-epileptic drug with a long half life. I would use it daily often at high doses in the beginning while it was effective and for a year or more, I would use it 0.5mg a day, once every three days. Before I introduced the newer compounds, I began taking high doses daily for a few weeks, possibly more than a month. I dont remember what was freaking me out at the time but, that is what happened.

Bromazolam

I have knee issues from birth and bromazolam was an amazing pain reliever for the shit that Ive been trying to get worked on forever. I went through 970mg over two or so months. Not too many memories from this time period, although I do remember injuring my knees worse because I was not considering how the drugs were effecting my ability to do things I probably shouldnt.

OH-Phenazepam

Two weeks this has entered my sphere. its keeping me sane but the amount of it I would need to take of it to stay comfortable is VERY high. 10mg. and, I was surprised by the short half life. I guess I wasnt expecting a phenazepam with a short half life, thats all on me.



I want out of this shit man, I've been calling so many rehab places, and I owe some of them money just because my family has driven me to few and its been before the pandemic that I've held a stable job or had access to healthcare. Recently, a small package of OH-Phenaz was quite a few days late, and I got to experience my first real experience with hardcord GABA wd. It felt like the worst of it was earlier toady, before more OH phenaz got here. Entire body sweating, paranoia, noises, sounds, lights, and the lack thereof was all painful. wasnt able to eat for the previous 4 days and im sure that was contributing. I didnt even feel like I was even reaching the beginning of the withdrawal process because the previous 3 days were a cakewalk compared to it.

So, if you have any advice on getting into rehab, or whether or not I need it, or any way I can handle a taper of sorts... please comment. I'm welcome to all advice.



edit: in particular, my thinking, is that I have (mostly) been taking long lasting anti-epileptic medications have been 121 lbs for years I don't know if I'll survive a wd tbh. I fixate on the idea that I'm about to have a seizure any time I try to stop taking any of these. I've chipped h, dont everything under the sun, and been subtly suicidal my entire life, but the fact of the matter is, I dont't wanna seize out or die. So, any guidance from the people on this website is greatly appreciated. Also, the three years I had in my title may be more accurately described as 2 years now that all the math has been done. You know how it goes.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

There is some good info in this thread.

https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/feel-like-a-seizure-is-coming.908582/page-3#post-15302870

When I wake up Coil, going on automatic pilot now, i'll get back to you. Gaba-A wd's are unforgiving I noticed, you def need help or a slow taper.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Normally harm reduction wise you would get pointed to professional help. I am not gonna do that, cause' were i live the only medical professional's that would offer useful help would be your normal dr. ,the emergency post at the hospital or by calling the emergency nr. (911 and alike) for an ambulance.

What are your option's, do you have a way to obtain Imidazenil, which seems like very suited for a gentle taper as it seems to retain the anti-convulsant properties of things like Diazepam/ Midazolam and lorazepam. or can you get Benzodiazepinen to use for a slow tapering, and use 'the Ashton Manual'? What is your current medication schedule. What do you mean with: "long lasting anti-epileptic's", are you prescribed these and for what condition if so? Anti-epileptic's are not the same as anti-convulsant's.

What you described when you ceased OH-Phenazepam could indeed be an indication of an upcoming seizure. In which case lying down is a necessity, matras on the floor free of the wall's or simply on the grass when outside. And that def need's medical assistance Epilepsy. take care and please report back Coil.

ps. 121 LB's = 55 Kg. if i am correct. Are you indicating you are skinny, you could just as well be very small. Any reason to believe you are malnourished? I am 1.8 M. high and weigh 65 Kg. At my worst i was 58 Kg.

 

[COIL]

Normally harm reduction wise you would get pointed to professional help. I am not gonna do that, cause' were i live the only medical professional's that would offer useful help would be your normal dr. ,the emergency post at the hospital or by calling the emergency nr. (911 and alike) for an ambulance.

What are your option's, do you have a way to obtain Imidazenil, which seems like very suited for a gentle taper as it seems to retain the anti-convulsant properties of things like Diazepam/ Midazolam and lorazepam. or can you get Benzodiazepinen to use for a slow tapering, and use 'the Ashton Manual'? What is your current medication schedule. What do you mean with: "long lasting anti-epileptic's", are you prescribed these and for what condition if so? Anti-epileptic's are not the same as anti-convulsant's.

What you described when you ceased OH-Phenazepam could indeed be an indication of an upcoming seizure. In which case lying down is a necessity, matras on the floor free of the wall's or simply on the grass when outside. And that def need's medical assistance Epilepsy. take care and please report back Coil.

I have about 45-60mg of imidazinil at my disposal. I'm not sure, basically sure its an anti-epileptic and an anti-convulsant. I can probably acquire more.

I lost a phone recently and cant make BTC purchases without actvating a new cashapp or something else that wants my identity. Or paying out the ass (i'm broke) to use the ATMs. There may or may not be a shit ton of the OH-phenazepam at my buddys house (so I don't go ahead and get the smart idea to chug it) but I would love to do a taper of some sorts using diclazepam especially. Or, even regular phenazepam. Ive found it useful in the past

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Anti-eleptic's are different med's.They include:

Levetiracetam
Valproic-acid
Phenytoin
Lamotrigine

I am on the first to after my first insult a year ago which was probably caused by malnutrition, lack of sleep, stressful event's and misuse of Gaba-ergics (mainly Ethanol and to a lesser extent Benzodiazepinen).

Anti-convulsant's are used primarily when a person has status-Epilepticus/ a generalized seizure. They will stop the seizure, but when used daily they are contraindicated especially for people prone to seizure's as they invoke them when the dosage is suddenly lowered or when they are stopped. These include certain benzo's.

 

[COIL]

Ahh, thank you for the clarification. So..... is it bad that imidazinil is both an anti-epileptic medication and an anti-consultant? When or if I plan to use it (im trying to find some detox that I wont die in that will take a broke boi with no insurance, lol) Should infrequently? According to the literature from the ppl who designed it, the ideal dosage is 0.3 a day, although I will say 0.25 had my mother high for a week. (she has panic attacks on the highway, figured it was worth a shot)

EDIT: it occured to me that I should add here that in between and oftentmes with benzos I've been drinking whiteclaws. if a pack is late I'm relying on those to tide me over. drank maybe 15-20 12packs in the last 2 months or so, I'm not sure how relevant it is to mention but I thought i would

 

[emkee_reinvented]

@COIL just a quote from wiki but I am sure its right. As as far as effect's go Imidazinil behaves as a Benzodiazepine, a unique one, but Its not an anti-Epileptic.

"Imidazenil is a highly potent benzodiazepine receptor partial agonist[2] with an unusual profile of effects, producing some of the effects associated with normal benzodiazepines such as anticonvulsant and anxiolytic effects, yet without any notable sedative or amnestic[3] effects. In fact, imidazenil blocks the sedative effects of diazepam, yet without lowering the convulsion threshold, ..."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imidazenil

Seems very useful for a slow taper. you should check the https://www.benzofree.org/info/ashton/

 

[COIL]

I know that people have tried using the Ashton manual to taper benzos before, even using things that aren't valium. one thing about imidaznil, tho, is it supposedly doesn't work on the GABAa receptors and therefore makes me wonder, would I actually be able to use it? not to mention I have no idea the initial equivalent dose to as switch over to =/

Edit: If I let myself off of benzos for a few days I'm concerned that the dosages I would need to be taking could potentially be equivalent and imidazinil is 1000x more expensive than other RC benzos. also, with a seltzer constantly in hand I seem to be able to feel chill at 3mg OH-phenaz. Cant sleep at any given time unless Ive been awake for a LONG time and pass out for a bit. I think if I manage toy get health insurance by the end of the month, I may try seeing my original familly doctor, who was fairly liberal with klonopin 12 years ago, and seeing if he would be willing to put me on the ashton program. Preferrably I could just be on these medications for life (i'm an unfunctional mess without something that calms me down and have done years and of therapy on c-ptsd, but I suppose it's worth a shot. getting my foot in the door a leas

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Over here the only dr that prescribes me benzo's is my regular one. 10 max at a ridiculous price. And yesterday i learned Etizolam will be banned for RC sale from 23 -Oktober on

my Neurologist won't despite the fact they stop a seizure from happening and that i have never mis-used them. The do have the idea i am some sort of junkie / alcoholic. Which in a sense is true but not anywhere near the degree I think they think.

In my case the fact they now about my substance use overshadows any other factors that contribute. Dr's are people, so the are prejudiced and work on presupposition. Therefor i don't get the treatment i need.

Gladly i get a call from an Epilepsy center in a few week's or month's as they have a lot more knowledge about my condition.

 

[PtahTek]

bromazolam was an amazing pain reliever

I have noticed the pain relieving abilities of this compound myself. If they could just isolate the (br) and test its efficacy we wouldn't have to go through it with the alprazolam bs dependency/wd issues. It may not be able to be accomplished but wish someone would at least try.
I feel for ya man... hope it all gets straightened out sooner than later.
Love

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Whatever i wrote take it for what it is as after some reading up on the term anti-convulsive and anti-epileptic they seem to be used both for Benzodiazepinen. And the type of drugs you take to prevent a seizure, Valproic Acid, Levetiracetam and such.

I thought benzo's were used solely to stop a seizure or to take just before it takes place. While the other anti-epileptic's are more like a maintenance thing you take daily to prevent it from occurring.

Now I am in the middle, maybe someone can clear this up. As i have no clue. What I do know is over here when you have Epilepsy you won't be prescribed Benzo's daily as they provoke seizure's when used in that matter.