~seductively devilish~

[neverwas]

save the last dance for me baby.
becareful or i will step on your toes.
you've already won the emotional battle baby.
all thats left is to mend your bleeding heart.

save the last dance for me baby!
for soon our time will come.
where noone will hold us back
and nothing can come undone.

i wonder how they feel baby.
knowing their world is going to end.
are they all alone in a blanket?
or are they praying on their knees yet?

drop that book baby and come on over here.
sit down infront of me baby
drink it all up.
relinquish all your fear.

save the last dance for me baby.
for now our time has come.
you are dancing with the Devil.
look at them all turn and run.

 

[katmeow]

I really like this... different style than usual for you, but it works.

Closing paragraph is good

 

[Artemis019]

I love it! Its pulsing and catchy.

~E Rae

 

[Chaotic Action Man]

when i read the poem it flows so well i hear/feel somekind of music rolling along behind it just soft enough to hear/feel only in the background.

and yes, that last stanza was good stuff indeed.

not sure if you play guitar or not, but i bet this would sound very beautiful infront of an acoustic.

 

[neverwas]

chaotic action man: ive been writting a few lyrics lately to hopefully transpose into some form of guitar style.

my writting has changed lately. its a good change cause im bnot writting bout the same depressing stuff

 

[up all night]

ohh very sexy. I like it!

 

[Raz]

That's funny, sexy is just what I was thinking. I could hear this with a really low and dirty subtle musical backing...kind of acoustic pop/country with some bite. For some reason I can really hear the chick from the Cardigans singing this.

I agree with kat...it's a different style than your other stuff I've read, but I think you've hit a winner...nice one stars! :D

 

[frostyangel]

I love your writing hottie... but you so stole my icon...

I wasn't ready to change it yet.. but I guess I'm going to have to now.......

 

[neverwas]

^^^^

you know i love ya

Raz: the idea was for it to sound the way u and kat have picked out. the image i got when writting it was of a woman standing in a dark room with a man and shewas circling him while he was doing stuff and he wasnt aware she was there. while she was whispering these words into his ear.

 

[neverwas]

bumped for abieda

 

[abieda]

yet another terrific piece dear. you've got some talent! keep on writting