second attempt, first post in SL

[bliz137]

Hi all. Today is my second day sober, after months of relapsing and not giving a dam. I went to rehab in August when my SO went through my phone and discovered my not well hidden messages with my dealer. I'm a pill popper. I had a small script each month for legit pain issues, which spiraled after a few years time into full blown addiction. I did some awful shady stuff, the worst of it..ugh. my dad passed away in November, and I'd been using again for a bit. I stole his drugs before and after his death. After a couple months sober, I've been using since.
I have seven sub strips from my last attempt. I'm going to be using them to get over the worst of wd, and hopefully be done. My rehab/sub dr dropped me abruptly in October...I assume she found out I tried to get a pain rx filled, but instead of finding another dr, I just said eff it.
I need to get sober and stay sober. My dad was an active member of AA, 20+years sober, he would be crushed by this. My SO will divorce me, I could lose my kids. I have an awful mindset that life is only good with pills, and I need to kill that.
So I'll be reading here and hopefully keep being inspired.
I used to post here long ago as a user and really am glad to be back. Any tips and advice are welcome!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Good luck bliz, hang in there.

 

[bliz137]

thanks captain h, I'm trying.

 

[Phil.McKeer]

Well, sounds like your back is pretty firmly against the wall, which is actually good because it will give you the impetus required to do this.

You also have 56mg of buprenorphine which if stretched will provide for an excellent, pain-free taper.

My biggest word of advice is don't overdo the subs. Use as little as possible so that it lasts. Do you have a taper plan? Have you taken your first dose?

 

[Captain.Heroin]

thanks captain h, I'm trying.

How have the last two weeks treated you? I hope you're doing well.