scribbles

[discopupils]

on current events in my life.
I have never expressed my feelings through writing before, I just decided to put all my feelings down because I really need an outlet:

I will always remember
how we first came to know one another;
ketamine and cigarettes on a delapidated bed.
The love,
that flowed through me like air.
The future.

An argument, a gaping abyss masquerading commitment,
a vindictive message.
And the light shines into my innocent mind;

Your rancid, unfaithful body,
a knife in my knotted heart,
that I caressed so eagerly.
The shuttered image, burning into my open eyes,
of you, of him, crawling all over your naked frame.
The fleeting thought of me, your love, a dream of us,
lost in the sickening whirlpool of your animalistic impulsiveness.

You return to me. I am still naive
to your repulsiveness. I give you everything that you have walked away with now.
We lay together in perceived ecstasy.

But you slither back to him, not once but twice more,
a simple creature, you are a slave
to your instinct. The consequences of your actions
once again lost within your pitiful, childish, greedy soul,
you disgust me.

And now revelation;
shine the light directly into my waterlogged eyes
you take my hand, my fingers blistering in your hateful grip,
you show me what you are
the break, the snap, the realisation is audible.
I am spellbound by love and intoxicated with loathing.