Screw a slow 6 month taper off Methadone, I'm jumping at 40mg.

[methamaniac]

.

I dunno, could be the H, but I think it's hope and faith and gratitude because I feel like no matter what happens it will
Be okay.

Becareful of wolves in sheep's clothing.
Wisdom can be tested and repeated.

There was a darkness in me that was lifted last night and I feel light as a feather

Try to fill yourself with the light that never goes dark.

Somehody said in another thread
getting high can definitely make you feel good.
But the cost is borrowing happiness from tomorrow and having to pay back a high intrest for this.
I've found this to be very true.

Hope you experience the very least pain possible in life.

Sincerely best wishes

 

[Get2Think]

Thanks guys I saw my doctor as well as
my 'friends' today and got a script of Valium instead of Klonnopin because I swear Klonnopin just makes my depression way worse and to be honest it SUCKS for opiate WD at least for me. Bought a half of black and
3 suboxone strips. So I'm well stocked until
New Years to be comfortable and happy.

Better than the drugs though is the fact I picked up a copy of Grand Theft Aiuto 5 for
Playstation 4 and I'm playing it through for the the first time so I had a great fucking day!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays friends. I'll be back when it's time to detox and get clean sometime in January.

 

[neversickanymore]

my 'friends' today and got a script of Valium instead of Klonopin because I swear Klonopin just makes my depression way worse and to be

Absolutely makes total sense to me and I had the same experience. xanax was the only one that did not cause depression for me.

Happy Holidays Get2

 

[Smoky]

Me too, the longer benzos are better off epecially coming off heroin which has it's own roller coaster ride. Klonopin is too short acting, and more drug seeking related IMHO.

 

[jennifercline]

Hey, I'm in the same predicament as you, basically. My doctor put me on 60 mg of methadone for pain, 2 years ago. He retired and new doctor said she would keep me on everything I was on, so I didn't bother looking any further. I called to remind her to write the script and her nurse told me she wasn't going to refill it. It's illegal for the nurse to say that and now she is saying she never did, but I fear that I'll be stuck in a detox and made to withdraw in 2 to 3 days and it will be hell. I'm cutting down one pill every 4 days starting today to prove to the doctor that I'm freaking serious about being honest and wanting to be off this crap. I don't think you should a) stretch it out for six months (although I wish I had that option) or b) stop cold turkey. You can die, dude. Keep off it for 4 or 5 days and take one then wait again, and finally go without. You can do this in a safer way. Good luck. I need it myself.

 

[Get2Think]

Dang Jennifer that situation methadone situation your in just doesn't sound right. Something's wrong and I hope it gets resolved without you having to experience withdrawal or anything that would just be terrible. It might not be a bad idea to create your own thread here in bluelight for support kind of like I did. It's just so invaluable having people who understand and have gone what your going through.

Also I agree 100 percent with what smoky and neversicksnymore said about benzos. Omg but Klonnopin I especially hate. It just does not agree with me, makes my depression worse, makes me angry sometimes, makes me fiend for drugs, I could go on and on I just hate kpins. Unless I'm coming down from stimulants, then I frecking love them

 

[ozzmosis]

I quit from 105 mg 17 days ago. You must fight this demon called methodone cause i promise you are in for a fight. You can do it if you have the willpower. If you need a friend im here and can tell you how ive done it. My kid is my motivation and ill die before i go back

 

[Get2Think]

Ozz my willpower comes and goes. None the less congratulations on your significant achievement. Right now I'm just trying to be stable as possible but it seems I can't do anything unoticed because i got it a big fight with my parents and they are threatening me with homelessness and shit. Or a year long Christian boot camp rehab. They give me no credit for getting off the methadone and the fact that I don't want to be on opiates Iam just dependent and don't want to feel like shit during Christmas. Suboxone and Valium. They can take
That from me over my dead body.

I got off the methadone and now that's not enough, now they are all over my ass for using other replacement drugs. Whateverthey are bashing narcotics anonymous and raging at me. I'm doing the best I can whilst under the boot of opiates. Hopefully I can be stable on sub and diazepam till the heat comes off me. They act like God and AA will somehow just cure everything. Yes that's a big
part of it, but I have been going to meetings and praying. They just expect
A more than I can offer so i may be homeless soon. All I do is deny deny deny because they aren't getting my subs or Valium.

 

[ozzmosis]

When i quit everyone in my family hated me and if you use subs to much you will create another addiction. I used something online called elimidrol. Its not a miracle cure but its makes it manageable. The valium is ok temporarily for sleep but please be careful with the subs and taper off them slowly if you are getting them from a clinic i feel for you. I was at a clinic when i quit and they dont understand addiction at all. They only know what they read and think they know. NA is good but you need to find the right group to attend. You need a great motivator to quit. I screwed my 8 year olds life up about two years ago so im making it right and will die before another opiate enters my body. If i die i was trying to fix my life and i can settle for that. Better than a overdose. Dont let negative people affect you. F them. Its your life your choice. Only you have the power to change but you must be ready. Im here to help anytime. I will support you if you need me. I know how you feel. Trust me

 

[ozzmosis]

I am homeless now with no car all cause of my addiction. I refuse to live this way. I have one uncle that took me in and im making good choices and when everyone gives up on you thats where i am. A 34 year old junkie fixing his relationship with god, family, and the people i care about. When you wanna quit you will just quit everything. Trust me and never look back. The past is what it is. The past

 

[Smoky]

Yeah, I've been there. I had nothing left to lose, I quit then used again and almost lost myself completely… Sold my car straight up to some dude on market street for H… cos I got a flat and couldn't make it to score… I walked away from my car that night.
Hang in there ^
The past is the past and I don't need to live there, but do need to remember how bad it was …

 

[neversickanymore]

I am homeless now with no car all cause of my addiction. I refuse to live this way. I have one uncle that took me in and im making good choices and when everyone gives up on you thats where i am. A 34 year old junkie fixing his relationship with god, family, and the people i care about. When you wanna quit you will just quit everything. Trust me and never look back. The past is what it is. The past

A crazy thing happened to me.. when i started losing everything.. i was devastated.. not like devastated teenybop style.. but devastated. Then the more i lost the more I realized how the stuff I was losing had no real value. Then instead of holding onto tall that stuff. i couldn't get rid of it fast enough.

keep to the course and all you will lose is the worthless shit we ignorantly placed so much "value" on. You will retain whats valuable and if you stay clean off the drugs that ruin you, whatever is really worth anything will return to you.. and way more

Your loved ones will return. The rest is worthless.. let it go. Make your recovery the number one aspect of your life. The rest will just sort itself out, if you do.

Truth.

 

[ozzmosis]

Smoky we sound like two in the same. What did you quit when you detoxed. Was it methodone?

 

[ozzmosis]

I really hope your right. I lost my sons pictures, his every thing, my everything. Im starting over. A woman stole my possessions and i caused the rest with my addiction. I feel worthless, and hate myself for my addiction. Im very hard on myself cause. Tuesday makes 3 weeks. That makes me happy that i see the light and im not looking back. Its the hardest thing i ever did. Now to keep my son from making the same mistakes as me.

 

[methamaniac]

Addiction will take anything and everything you will give it. But what it really wants is your life.
It wont stop till it gets it. Figuratively and literally.
I don't dwell on the shit I handed over to addiction, Im just glad I escaped with the rest of my life.
I'M happy with the basics at this point in my life.

 

[ozzmosis]

I like that. I just wish i didnt have all this guilt. My 8 year old can only see me twice a month now. Its not my life as much i worry about its his. Im trying to change and beating my addiction is first on the list. Tomorrow is day 19

 

[neversickanymore]

Addiction will take anything and everything you will give it.

Its both a devastating curse and the opertunity at an amazing experience far beyond what people who have never faced addiction realize. We addicts think in good or bad polar opposites.. i guess its fitting that our destiny mirrors this. There are only two paths out.. missory or bliss.

 

[Smoky]

Addiction will take anything and everything you will give it. But what it really wants is your life.
It wont stop till it gets it. Figuratively and literally.
I don't dwell on the shit I handed over to addiction, Im just glad I escaped with the rest of my life.
I'M happy with the basics at this point in my life.

qft

 

[Smoky]

Smoky we sound like two in the same. What did you quit when you detoxed. Was it methodone?

Mostly heroin, but I was switching to subs and methadone in-between… I used some methadone to get off Heroin ultimately, but it was a rapid taper… when I fully committed.
August 25th last use of Heroin, Methadone 29th.
NSA has a good point, I'll take Bliss. As J. Campbell said, " Follow your bliss "

Congratulations on Day 19!

 

[ozzmosis]

Thank you brother and you are doing great to. You got to be proud. You beat this horrible addiction. I avoid anyone that uses. I dont want it in my life anymore but its made me a better person knowing what i do about addiction and the struggle.