Scrambled Thoughts

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I have to stop,
I need to stop,
why does it have to be so hard?
It has over-run my life,
leading me slowly to my death.
hovering above me like a rain filled cloud,
tempting me every minute of the day.
green, white, orange, red, blue, yellow,
the music gets into my head,
it enters my mind and makes me see,
that its not good to be addicted,
addicted to anything,
everything.
Am I thinking clearly?
Am I killing myself from the outside in?
One day I will go to sleep,
and I will never wake up..
Will that make my exsistance seem more worthwhile?
life is never what it seems..
one day you here exsisting and the next day,
you are nowhere, a nobody..
All these scrambled thoughts,
make my head swim and ache..
Podering all life's woes, I sleep.