Mental Health Schizophrenia Vs. Actual Entities?

DeathRow

Bluelighter
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Chicago
For the past ~10 years, I’ve been diagnosed as a schizophrenic. I’ve been on high doses of just about every antipsychotic available these days, I’ve worked jobs and kept routines meant to distract from “hallucinations”, I’ve learned just about every coping skill there is out there for dealing with “hallucinations”.

Now, I put “hallucinations” in quotes, because though I’ve been battling this very idea since “symptoms” popped up, I’m again dealing with the thoughts that, “what if I’m not schizophrenic, and everything I’m told is just hallucinations is actually real?”.

Ever since “symptoms” first began, I’ve gone back and forth, “stable” to “symptomatic” and no matter where I’m at on that spectrum, I’ve always found myself considering the possibility that I’m not having auditory or visual hallucinations, rather I just have some ability to sense things other people can’t.

I won’t go into the details of the voices, but trust me when I say that it’s sometimes scary how much of a coincidence they can become. Sometimes they say things I couldn’t know that turn out to be true. In one example, another girl actually saw and described to me an entity I was seeing, matching every detail.

So I’ve been on so many meds, high doses, done all the things I’m supposed to do to curve psychosis, exercise, routine, but I’m at a point where I’m wondering, how unrealistic would it be to actually start to really consider that it’s all real, rather than vice versa?

I know that in this post, I probably sound like I’m having textbook delusions, but I feel more confident about this being real than I have felt about anything in a very long time.
 
No way to know but I think the nature of entities from schitz and psychedelics too are internal. They are manifestations your brain has created (from drugs or mental illness) to be a seemingly autonomous being with its own goals, personality and way of communicating. But it is still in your brain.

In that sense they are real but only for you if you get what I mean. I have experienced them on psych many times and once while I was heavily addicted to cannabinoids I had a sort of temporary schizophrenia and would see entities, usually while sober. This stopped when I quit.

I was wondering the same thing for a while and this is my conclusion after years of speculation.

Are you sober when you see entities? Do you mind describing them. I saw shadow people a lot in the height of my addiction, usually wearing a hood with a white face and sunken or nonexistent eyes
 
No way to know but I think the nature of entities from schitz and psychedelics too are internal. They are manifestations your brain has created (from drugs or mental illness) to be a seemingly autonomous being with its own goals, personality and way of communicating. But it is still in your brain.

I’ve actually thought about this quite a bit, and ive always thought that, similarly with depression and personality disorders, but arguably moreso with psychotic disorders like schizophrenia, it’s so odd how the brain gets wired wrong in one way or another and becomes actively self-destructive.

Like, how can someone’s brain end up so fucked up that it will CREATE false stimulus of our 5 senses, and more often than not, in a negative way, frequently trying to convince the individual into committing suicide, among other things. It’s odd, right?
I mean I get depression and how it’s a fault with the receptors in the brain, but how does your brain create false stimulus in an attempt to actively convince you to destroy itself?
I don’t know.

As far as the experiences I have with actual visions, my “schizophrenia” (or whatever the hell it is) is mostly auditory, sometimes slightly visual, and at its worst, become more detailed.

For example, I am hearing voices just about every moment of every day. Sometimes they are just more bearable than other times, quieter, or not speaking as negatively or not commanding me to do things. I usually consider strictly auditory hallucinations to be kind of a “phase 1” of severity. When it gets to “phase 2” I start to see blurs of shadows in the corner of my eye, nothing more than a quick glimpse. “Stage 3” for me is exactly like what you had just described, to a tee pretty much. A, typically tall, black shadow, with a white face, and hollowed our eyes with little to no other facial features. Itll usually chase me around my house so to speak, because it’s scary and I try to avoid it, but when it’s that bad there’s no escaping it. “Stage 4” the visions start to get a little more detailed. Sometimes I can make out clothing or maybe accessories, for example one of my more terrifying experiences with this involved seeing a demon wearing a top hat holding a cane with both hands. This was the experience in which the other girl could also see what I was seeing, that I described in the first post. Stage 5 and they begin to resemble how people actually look. But, you ever heard of the uncanny valley? The thing about something tiny being just “off” about a face and making the whole thing look all wrong? That’s kind of how I’d describe how they look at my stage 5. Can’t put your finger on it, but there’s just something off about them. Then stage 6 is the final one and is difficult for me to keep track of because usually when it gets that severe, I’m already dissociating and unable to distinguish reality from non-reality. But this stage is when things get really serious. In additionals to hearing voices and actually seeing distinct images, I also tend to smell things, like one time I was convinced somebody was outside of my house at night trying to set it on fire cause I could smell gasoline. And even worse than that is tactile hallucinations, which is when you actually FEEL something that isn’t there. I sometimes will feel a hand on my shoulder or something similar.

I know that’s more info than you asked for, but just figured it share.
 
It is one of the most fascinating things to me. Also your stages are almost exactly the same as my slowly induced drug delusions! Wild. I'd say I got to phase 4 sober like you said but when I would OD and seize up I would get some pretty powerful hallucinations that seemed like severe schizophrenic episodes like your stage 6. I do appreciate the extra info.

Are you currently on medications for it? Are you using hallucinogens at all including marijuana? Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep deprivation makes it much worse, that on it's own cam cause schitz like symptoms.
 
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It is one of the most fascinating things to me. Also your stages are almost exactly the same as my slowly induced drug delusions! Wild. I'd say I got to phase 4 sober like you said but when I would OD and seize up I would get some pretty powerful hallucinations that seemed like severe schizophrenic episodes like your stage 6. I do appreciate the extra info.

Are you currently on medications for it? Are you using hallucinogens at all including marijuana? Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep deprivation makes it much worse, that on it's own cam cause schitz like symptoms.
i just realized I never answered your question about if it happens when I’m using/sober. I find that things like benzos/heroin decrease symptoms, if anything, while stimulants obviously cause lack of sleep and eating and even just the stimulation are all recipes for disaster for psychosis. At this point in time I am sober, and have been for a bit, but the voices have been increasing lately, so it’s not like drug use is directly related and the sole factor of if I experience symptoms.

Yeah man drug induced psychosis is no joke. I’ve experienced purely drug induced psychosis a number of times as well, and while I was in the end able to tell the difference between drug induced and schizophrenic psychosis, I wouldn’t say one or the other is any easier to deal with. If I had to pick one I’d say drug induced, because as soon as the problem behaviors stop, the psychosis does as well shortly after. But as far as actual symptoms go, drug induced psychosis is basically just short term schizophrenia in my experience. Picture your experience with it, and imagine living with that every day to varying degrees from moderate to severe, and id say that it would be a good representation of what it feels like to be schizophrenic.

I am inceed on medications for it. When I was first diagnosed I started with seroquel and got up to a high dose before finding out I’m mildly allergic to it. Switched to risperidal, which ended up being ineffective as well as having some nasty side effects. Switched to haldol and again found it to be ineffective. Switched to zyprexa, and again, no luck. Switched again over to abilify and symptoms decreased for awhile but came back in the end. Switched to the strongest antipsychotic with the most success in blocking psychosis, clozaril, but due to it killing white blood cells or something you have to get a weekly blood draw to test for shit when you’re on it, and so many years of IV drug used fucked up my veins so much that these blood drawings were always long and painful to get done, so while it worked better than any of the others, I decided the downsides and possible risks of taking the med didn’t seem worth it for a med that only slightly increased my quality of life. So I traded down a peg to paliperidone (Invega) for a strong med that had less health risks, and after many many dose adjustments and finally ending up going on the monthly IM shot, plus a scheduled midday dose of oral invega, I feel like my meds are at a good level. Of course, as any other schizophrenic will tell you, faith in antipsychotics is very low, and if you expect them to even decrease the volume of the hallucinations, you’ll be sorely disappointed. All they do is make the hallucinations less commanding, maybe a bit quieter, and make you more aware of when you’re experiencing hallucinations/delusions. At this point in time, I’ve been lately experiencing a lot of psychotic symptoms and delusions, but I’ve still been able to step aside and realize that they are hallucinations and delusions for the most part, so I’m satisfied for now.

The last drug I took was LSD a couple months ago, because of all the potential benefits of using LSD or shrooms in people with trauma, psychosis, and depressive disorders. Unfortunately it turned out to be bunk, so I have no idea what effect that would have overall, although I’m still actively searching for actual acid, or even some similar RC, and if I do get some I’ll get back to you on what the trip was like and how it affected me long term. Although I will say, my last psych experience prior to this was shrooms, and it could be because I ate 7.2grams, but the entire comeup I was hallucinating wildly. I don’t remember many details or specifics of it, except for about 45min after dosing, my trip sitter was driving us back to our house and I heard a deep guttural voice say “you shouldn’t have done that” and I recall believing I had been poisoned, and the rest of the trip being a nightmare. By the time I started coming down it stopped and I was able to enjoy the rest of the trip, but yeah, not something I’d like to relive.

As for marijuana, I know it helps some people, but I’ve always been on the end that actually experiences an increase in psychosis from marijuana. If for some reason I needed a surefire way to make myself have a schizophrenic breakdown, I would smoke some weed. I was a huge stoner in my early days, but after symptoms first appeared, weed never stopped making me psychotic again.

And finally, for sleep, I’d say I go back and forth between not enough sleep and too much sleep. I tend to get into kinda cycles where I have psychosis and it stops me from being able to sleep properly so I stay up all night, then after a few days of little to no sleep, even if symptoms haven’t decreased, I just end up crashing and typically feel better than I did before I crashed at least. But then the cycle just repeats.

Any other questions feel free to ask, I’ve matured enough into my life as a schizophrenic that I’m basically just an open book about it now.
 
Reality is a very complicated thing my friend. I personally think these things may be possibly real. and if they are real to you, in your subjective experience, just because I dont see it, does that make it not real? I just dont know man.
but yes, what you described sounds like some of the crazier psychedelic episodes and stimulant psychosis episodes I have endured. and these also left me thinking "It was so real to me.....does it matter what anyone else thinks? when it comes down to it, all I know to be truly real is my own conciousness"
 
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i just realized I never answered your question about if it happens when I’m using/sober. I find that things like benzos/heroin decrease symptoms, if anything, while stimulants obviously cause lack of sleep and eating and even just the stimulation are all recipes for disaster for psychosis. At this point in time I am sober, and have been for a bit, but the voices have been increasing lately, so it’s not like drug use is directly related and the sole factor of if I experience symptoms.

Yeah man drug induced psychosis is no joke. I’ve experienced purely drug induced psychosis a number of times as well, and while I was in the end able to tell the difference between drug induced and schizophrenic psychosis, I wouldn’t say one or the other is any easier to deal with. If I had to pick one I’d say drug induced, because as soon as the problem behaviors stop, the psychosis does as well shortly after. But as far as actual symptoms go, drug induced psychosis is basically just short term schizophrenia in my experience. Picture your experience with it, and imagine living with that every day to varying degrees from moderate to severe, and id say that it would be a good representation of what it feels like to be schizophrenic.

I am inceed on medications for it. When I was first diagnosed I started with seroquel and got up to a high dose before finding out I’m mildly allergic to it. Switched to risperidal, which ended up being ineffective as well as having some nasty side effects. Switched to haldol and again found it to be ineffective. Switched to zyprexa, and again, no luck. Switched again over to abilify and symptoms decreased for awhile but came back in the end. Switched to the strongest antipsychotic with the most success in blocking psychosis, clozaril, but due to it killing white blood cells or something you have to get a weekly blood draw to test for shit when you’re on it, and so many years of IV drug used fucked up my veins so much that these blood drawings were always long and painful to get done, so while it worked better than any of the others, I decided the downsides and possible risks of taking the med didn’t seem worth it for a med that only slightly increased my quality of life. So I traded down a peg to paliperidone (Invega) for a strong med that had less health risks, and after many many dose adjustments and finally ending up going on the monthly IM shot, plus a scheduled midday dose of oral invega, I feel like my meds are at a good level. Of course, as any other schizophrenic will tell you, faith in antipsychotics is very low, and if you expect them to even decrease the volume of the hallucinations, you’ll be sorely disappointed. All they do is make the hallucinations less commanding, maybe a bit quieter, and make you more aware of when you’re experiencing hallucinations/delusions. At this point in time, I’ve been lately experiencing a lot of psychotic symptoms and delusions, but I’ve still been able to step aside and realize that they are hallucinations and delusions for the most part, so I’m satisfied for now.

The last drug I took was LSD a couple months ago, because of all the potential benefits of using LSD or shrooms in people with trauma, psychosis, and depressive disorders. Unfortunately it turned out to be bunk, so I have no idea what effect that would have overall, although I’m still actively searching for actual acid, or even some similar RC, and if I do get some I’ll get back to you on what the trip was like and how it affected me long term. Although I will say, my last psych experience prior to this was shrooms, and it could be because I ate 7.2grams, but the entire comeup I was hallucinating wildly. I don’t remember many details or specifics of it, except for about 45min after dosing, my trip sitter was driving us back to our house and I heard a deep guttural voice say “you shouldn’t have done that” and I recall believing I had been poisoned, and the rest of the trip being a nightmare. By the time I started coming down it stopped and I was able to enjoy the rest of the trip, but yeah, not something I’d like to relive.

As for marijuana, I know it helps some people, but I’ve always been on the end that actually experiences an increase in psychosis from marijuana. If for some reason I needed a surefire way to make myself have a schizophrenic breakdown, I would smoke some weed. I was a huge stoner in my early days, but after symptoms first appeared, weed never stopped making me psychotic again.

And finally, for sleep, I’d say I go back and forth between not enough sleep and too much sleep. I tend to get into kinda cycles where I have psychosis and it stops me from being able to sleep properly so I stay up all night, then after a few days of little to no sleep, even if symptoms haven’t decreased, I just end up crashing and typically feel better than I did before I crashed at least. But then the cycle just repeats.

Any other questions feel free to ask, I’ve matured enough into my life as a schizophrenic that I’m basically just an open book about it now.

Thanks for the informative answers. IThat is an interesting insight on drug psychosis. I'm sure you are aware of the danger of using psyches when you have schitz but I must say I don't recommend that. 7.5 grams is a lot of shrooms that would almost certainly make schitz worse, I am no expert but I have read many reports of this. I think anti psychotics reduce the effect of psychedelics and that is a lot going on in your brain.

Have you ever seen how schitzophrenia is seen culturally outside of the Western world? Like in India where they are known as people with insight and connection to the spiritual? Their symptoms are even different than here, in my opinion because they are portrayed and treated in a more positive light.
 
Thanks for the informative answers. IThat is an interesting insight on drug psychosis. I'm sure you are aware of the danger of using psyches when you have schitz but I must say I don't recommend that. 7.5 grams is a lot of shrooms that would almost certainly make schitz worse, I am no expert but I have read many reports of this. I think anti psychotics reduce the effect of psychedelics and that is a lot going on in your brain.

Have you ever seen how schitzophrenia is seen culturally outside of the Western world? Like in India where they are known as people with insight and connection to the spiritual? Their symptoms are even different than here, in my opinion because they are portrayed and treated in a more positive light.
Absolutely. I am most certainly aware of the danger psyches can cause, but sometimes I just feel like I need a nice mild 150mcg acid trip to kind of flush my brain out. Although I’d be aware of the risks going into it. And yeah, would not recommend 7+g’s of shrooms for anyone, let alone schizophrenics who are already prone to psychosis and may not be at the most stable they could be.
Huh, I knew antipsychotics can numb the effects of stimulants like amphetamines but I never heard that about psyches, interesting. Although you’d think antipsychotics dull the effects of a lot of drugs, as the main role of antipsychs is to block dopamine receptors. I’ve always been interested in the theory that schizophrenia and psychosis is caused by an “overflow” of dopamine, because I certainly am not feeling like I’m having a lot of dopamine flowing when I’m mid-hallucination.

You know, I can’t say I’ve really ever learned anything about how the rest of the world views it, aside from stories about how back in the past, people who were widely believed to have been possessed by demons at the time are speculated now to have actually been suffering from schizophrenia. Which makes perfect sense to me, because the “theme” of my schizophrenia (something not many people know is that schizophrenia commonly has “themes” it follows for each person who has it, i.e. believing you are a prophet/Jesus, believing the voices are angels or maybe ghosts etc) has always been that I’m being possessed by several demons. Which is actually the purpose of this whole thread, I have been recently battling with the “delusion” that I’m possessed, and I put delusion in quotes because I’m still not certain that I’m not actually just possessed rather than mentally ill. It would explain a lot of spooky things that I’ve experienced since being diagnosed, for example, having visual hallucinations of a cat walking around in my room only to find out the next morning my friends cat had died that night around the same time I saw it, the girl seeing the same “vision” I was seeing as I mentioned, and even things as far as the voices having made predictions about the future which have always ended up coming true, for example the aurora movie theater shooting. In my 10 years of whatever the hell this is, I’ve spent a lot of time 100% convinced I am indeed possessed by demons, and thus spent a lot of time researching demons and how they infest you and their abilities and such, and according to the key of Solomon, several of the “demons” that “possess” me (I know them by name but I won’t share those here) actually are infamous for their ability to be able to tell you of things from the past, present; and *future*. When I read that, after having been told prophecies which all came up true, my heart dropped into my stomach. And I know the first thing one might say is “why not tell somebody when they make these predictions before they happen, so that if they do, you have someone who can verify it” and that was my first thought too when I noticed the pattern of predictions coming true, so I started sharing every time I’d hear voices making a prediction of something that isn’t too mundane and can’t possibly be just a coincidence. And I do have several totally able minded non-psychotic people that can verify that I, through the form of my voices, predicted the future, the most recent being I told my mom after I heard voices telling me there was going to be a giant bomb that goes off somewhere the next day, one day before the explosion in Beirut. Although I don’t think it was necessarily a bomb, it’s an explosion so I’m counting it. And I have even more spooky and convincing ones, but I’d rather not share some of the worst ones out of fear of appearing to be delusional. Unfortunately a large amount of the people that would tell these predictions to were girlfriends at the time (usually the one person in my life I feel most comfortable sharing deep feelings with) and are now ex girlfriends, and I’m not in contact with most of them anymore so some of my stories that somebody else can confirm, can’t be confirmed.

Anyways, sorry, got a bit off topic, but it’s funny you mention that, because my neighborhood is mostly black and native, and the natives are very spiritual, and many of my native friends who I’ve spoken to about this all seem to conform to the belief that I am indeed correct, and that I’m not schizophrenic I’m possessed, and even that there’s no such thing as schizophrenia, but instead it’s people who are more “in touch” with the spiritual world and the other realm, sometimes moreso than with this one. I’ve tossed around the idea that, when I have heavy heavy psychosis or dissociation (I realized I didn’t mention dissociation in my list of phases, but once it gets to a 2 I become mildly dissociated, only to the point where I may not remember things correctly, and then phase 6 i become so dissociated I sometimes even go catatonic, and then the phases in between are just on the spectrum relative to the severity of that stage) that I’m actually alternating in between worlds or “astral projecting” and I sometimes believe this is the reason I even dissociate, because my literal spirit wasn’t present in my body. The whole idea behind the theories about schizophrenia actually being a very real spiritual ability to sense entities that truly are there, others just cant sense them, etc. has always been a huge topic of interest to me, because it just goes so deep, although it typically ends up being harmful in the long run because diving too deep into that rabbit hole reaffirms my “delusions” and just ends up making life harder for me.

I apologize for the long, ranting post, I actually started to have a fair bit of hallucinations while writing it and ended up getting lost and jumping all over the place on different topics.
Ever hear the diagnosis criteria of “disorganized speech”? It’s a typically very fast and jumbled up way of speaking where your mind is going faster than your mouth can go and what you want to say makes sense in your head but it just comes out all wrong. Yeah, this post was literally just written disorganized speech, thankfully I can go back and read what I wrote if I get off track, real life doesn’t have a playback button.
 
Yeah there is much about psychotic breaks we don't know. A mania type psychosis makes sense with the dopamine thing but a hallucigenic nature of others makes me thing there is something else chemically going on too.

Hey I have had my own fair share precogitive events and mostly while sober too(even had a OBE after a nap once), some possibly saving my life. I wouldn't feel to strange about that I think we all experience it to some degree.

It sounds like you've been through some shit and the fact that you've learned that if you go to far down the rabbit hole it's harmful mean you've made progress. And don't feel bad about your writing your opinion on things is very interesting because not many people are open about it. I've talk to schizophrenics on the reddit sub r/Psychic sometimes and have seen much much worse. Actually a lot of them are going through a similar situation as you. I think if more people were open and comfortable about talking to each other about things like this everyone would benefit.

Also just be careful using the LSD, it's your decision and watch out for anything weirder than normal for a dose that low.
 
Yeah there is much about psychotic breaks we don't know. A mania type psychosis makes sense with the dopamine thing but a hallucigenic nature of others makes me thing there is something else chemically going on too.

Hey I have had my own fair share precogitive events and mostly while sober too(even had a OBE after a nap once), some possibly saving my life. I wouldn't feel to strange about that I think we all experience it to some degree.

It sounds like you've been through some shit and the fact that you've learned that if you go to far down the rabbit hole it's harmful mean you've made progress. And don't feel bad about your writing your opinion on things is very interesting because not many people are open about it. I've talk to schizophrenics on the reddit sub r/Psychic sometimes and have seen much much worse. Actually a lot of them are going through a similar situation as you. I think if more people were open and comfortable about talking to each other about things like this everyone would benefit.

Also just be careful using the LSD, it's your decision and watch out for anything weirder than normal for a dose that low.
Absolutely, I find my own disorder to be one of the most intriguing, maybe because so little is known about it still. And oh yeah for sure, mania based psychosis definitely would be explained by dopamine.

I most definitely have been thru some shit my man, got diagnosed VERY young too, so a big portion of my childhood/teen years were really garbage, just basically living and trying to troubleshoot. I appreciate you saying you see that as making progress. And oh most definitely, I know it could be much worse because it HAS been much worse for me in the past like when I’d go off my meds. My doctor told me (several years after the fact) that I had probably been the youngest she’d diagnosed, as well as being among the top of the most severe cases. Always stuck with me cause that just seems like something I would not want to tell my patients if I was a doctor lol. But yeah it’s been one hell of a rollercoaster man, and even tho my psychosis has been picking up a little bit lately, lm still nowhere near the crisis level I used to spent years in. I think I can attribute a lot of my progress to just trying to be more positive all around. Once you stop thinking about how bad it is, you start to think about how good it can be if you just make the effort. Easier said than done but yeah.

Yeah there’s still a lot of stigma behind schizophrenia which is why I believe so many people with psychotic disorders tend to not share much about their experiences, and honestly I can be the same way. For me to talk about it, it has to be someone I rreeeeaaolllyyyy trust, or on a message board like this where it’s anonymous.
 
For the past ~10 years, I’ve been diagnosed as a schizophrenic. I’ve been on high doses of just about every antipsychotic available these days, I’ve worked jobs and kept routines meant to distract from “hallucinations”, I’ve learned just about every coping skill there is out there for dealing with “hallucinations”.

Now, I put “hallucinations” in quotes, because though I’ve been battling this very idea since “symptoms” popped up, I’m again dealing with the thoughts that, “what if I’m not schizophrenic, and everything I’m told is just hallucinations is actually real?”.

Ever since “symptoms” first began, I’ve gone back and forth, “stable” to “symptomatic” and no matter where I’m at on that spectrum, I’ve always found myself considering the possibility that I’m not having auditory or visual hallucinations, rather I just have some ability to sense things other people can’t.

I won’t go into the details of the voices, but trust me when I say that it’s sometimes scary how much of a coincidence they can become. Sometimes they say things I couldn’t know that turn out to be true. In one example, another girl actually saw and described to me an entity I was seeing, matching every detail.

So I’ve been on so many meds, high doses, done all the things I’m supposed to do to curve psychosis, exercise, routine, but I’m at a point where I’m wondering, how unrealistic would it be to actually start to really consider that it’s all real, rather than vice versa?

I know that in this post, I probably sound like I’m having textbook delusions, but I feel more confident about this being real than I have felt about anything in a very long time.
In today’s world it’s all about science and clinical psychology so of course they will tell you they are not real because that’s what they are taught to tell you even though they have never experienced any form of psychosis themselves and overcame it.

Schizophrenia and other psychotic illness is passed down by negative thought patterns from your parents and generational traumas and is intensified by traumas that you experience as a child or adolescent and society’s opinions and your own fear and negative thinking surrounding it. If you resist schizophrenia then it will become worse which is counterintuitive because of course nobody wants to go through that torment but nevertheless is the first step to healing yourself and alleviating the fear and frustration and fatalism about it. Trying to adopt an attitude of acceptance. It is harder to develop that way of thinking when you are so steeped in the psychosis but it is still possible. The control they have over you is just an illusion and they know that.

Trying to distract yourself from them and pretending they are not real is a form of resistance and will make it worse later on down the line. And once you try to accept them as real they will try to convince you that they are not real so that they can confuse you and make you doubt yourself but that’s where you have to learn to follow your soul and intuition and your heart and what you authentically think is right and wrong and logical.

It is possible to be completely healed. Don’t let other peoples conjectures destroy your hope. The answer is not pills and exercising your physical body. Yes they may provide short term relief which can be helpful if you’re going through a crisis but they provide no long term solutions or healing.

People don’t understand how much our thoughts affect us and they don’t understand how much control we have over our thoughts. Our negative thinking and attitudes and beliefs causes us to descend into the lower levels of the earthly plane of existence which makes us a match to entities that mostly have negative thoughts and intentions. These things are conscious and they can strategize all kinds of things that can trip you out and make you feel powerless and vulnerable and confused.

They get their power off of you being scared and confused of them and off of you doing negative things to yourself and having this back and forth thinking of “maybe they’re real and maybe they’re not”. Sometimes they are part of a larger agenda to destroy humanity entirely by getting the person to commit suicide or to harm others. But we cannot let them get to that point. We can still believe that they are real but at the same time not fall for their tricks. We can learn their ways and be vigilant and familiar with their tactics and that will help us gain power over them rather than them gaining power over us and our lives. It will also build our confidence so we can potentially get to a state where we are not a match to them anymore and the voices will disappear like magic.

But in order to do that we have to be in a state of acceptance and allowing towards them and realize that they are here for a reason and that they are real. Science and psychology has failed us in this regard and we need to learn to be our own independent agent sometimes and find out things for ourselves. It is a hard process with a lot of trial and error but if we stick to it and have faith in the process and in ourselves we can achieve so much and we will gain so much knowledge and power from it. We almost have to see ourselves as warriors that fight with our minds and positive thinking rather than thinking that we have to live like this for the rest of our lives.
 
In today’s world it’s all about science and clinical psychology so of course they will tell you they are not real because that’s what they are taught to tell you even though they have never experienced any form of psychosis themselves and overcame it.

Schizophrenia and other psychotic illness is passed down by negative thought patterns from your parents and generational traumas and is intensified by traumas that you experience as a child or adolescent and society’s opinions and your own fear and negative thinking surrounding it. If you resist schizophrenia then it will become worse which is counterintuitive because of course nobody wants to go through that torment but nevertheless is the first step to healing yourself and alleviating the fear and frustration and fatalism about it. Trying to adopt an attitude of acceptance. It is harder to develop that way of thinking when you are so steeped in the psychosis but it is still possible. The control they have over you is just an illusion and they know that.

Trying to distract yourself from them and pretending they are not real is a form of resistance and will make it worse later on down the line. And once you try to accept them as real they will try to convince you that they are not real so that they can confuse you and make you doubt yourself but that’s where you have to learn to follow your soul and intuition and your heart and what you authentically think is right and wrong and logical.

It is possible to be completely healed. Don’t let other peoples conjectures destroy your hope. The answer is not pills and exercising your physical body. Yes they may provide short term relief which can be helpful if you’re going through a crisis but they provide no long term solutions or healing.

People don’t understand how much our thoughts affect us and they don’t understand how much control we have over our thoughts. Our negative thinking and attitudes and beliefs causes us to descend into the lower levels of the earthly plane of existence which makes us a match to entities that mostly have negative thoughts and intentions. These things are conscious and they can strategize all kinds of things that can trip you out and make you feel powerless and vulnerable and confused.

They get their power off of you being scared and confused of them and off of you doing negative things to yourself and having this back and forth thinking of “maybe they’re real and maybe they’re not”. Sometimes they are part of a larger agenda to destroy humanity entirely by getting the person to commit suicide or to harm others. But we cannot let them get to that point. We can still believe that they are real but at the same time not fall for their tricks. We can learn their ways and be vigilant and familiar with their tactics and that will help us gain power over them rather than them gaining power over us and our lives. It will also build our confidence so we can potentially get to a state where we are not a match to them anymore and the voices will disappear like magic.

But in order to do that we have to be in a state of acceptance and allowing towards them and realize that they are here for a reason and that they are real. Science and psychology has failed us in this regard and we need to learn to be our own independent agent sometimes and find out things for ourselves. It is a hard process with a lot of trial and error but if we stick to it and have faith in the process and in ourselves we can achieve so much and we will gain so much knowledge and power from it. We almost have to see ourselves as warriors that fight with our minds and positive thinking rather than thinking that we have to live like this for the rest of our lives.
This sounds incredibly personal, though you brought up good points. Is there other evidence and experiences or is this your own experience?
 
This sounds incredibly personal, though you brought up good points. Is there other evidence and experiences or is this your own experience?
I cannot provide any physical/clinical evidence that will satisfy the needs of the skeptical mind but I do believe there is power and value in experience and power and value from paying attention to other people’s experiences and gathering information from those experiences and comparing it to your own life and comparing it to the current stigma on mental illness itself.

I have had several moments in the past couple years where I have managed to catch a glimpse of this untapped potential of the human mind and what they call the kingdom of heaven where you don’t let the ways of the world control your mind and you are in a state of complete allowing and acceptance and positive energy and momentum. I was able to think of my situation in a way to where it wasn’t controlling me as much and I was actually starting to be more sociable and confident around people and come out of the zone of paranoid conspiracy anxiety thinking about the end of the world and nuclear bombs and demons taking over the world ...and it was happening pretty quickly.

All I had to do was shift my perspective and sustain my focus on things that made me feel positive emotions and feelings inside rather than focusing on things like AI robots taking over our minds and political figures of pedophilia and satan worshippers that run society. I mean it’s easier said than done obviously but we don’t realize how much of our focus is on negative things most of the time in our daily lives and we avoid it and deny it and we think we have to do all these physical external things like take pills and exercise and stuff. We don’t realize how many negative thoughts we are thinking everyday because it becomes so normal and natural to us. But that is the very thing that is intensifying, perpetuating and feeding the psychosis/schizophrenia. It’s almost like a snowball effect where you feel like the sicker you get the more harder it is to climb out of the hole and do the things I just explained but it is still very possible.

People are also not aware of the fact that that by focusing on all these negative things that fuel our anxieties and psychosis we are actually giving in to determinism and resisting our authentic selves and the natural flow of life which is oriented towards healing and progressive solutions to your health and expressing this authentic nature of your being that is full of love and compassion and positivity and going in the direction of what you really want for your life.

I’m trying to condense my thoughts as much as possible but I can write a whole book trying to explain what I mean and all the different tactics and mind tricks I implemented to alleviate my particular situation but the truth is that this has to be an individualized process because everybody has their own unique circumstances and only they know what is the most helpful for them in getting to that point of embodying their authentic selves and empowering their minds and getting out of that victim mindset where you feel like the world is inflicting on you.

And to be clear I’ve never gotten to that point of severity of hearing mean voices on a daily basis and fearing that I might give into influences that produce homicidal/suicidal tendencies so you can choose to believe me or not but I have descended to the point where I felt like there was a demonic presence around me all the time that I can not get rid of and feeling like I am possessed and I would hear something that sounded like voices whenever I would start to fall asleep at night. They were unsettling but never menacing. They felt more like thoughts that weren’t my own. And I later realized they were the thoughts of those other beings that I became a match to that are lower in the dimensional plane. Beings that I became a match to because of my negative thoughts and focus and actions and decisions in life.

I also think it’s important to mention the intense lethargy and feelings of laziness and heaviness associated with psychotic illnesses. Once I got to a point where I was able to sustain my positive focus for a long enough time, the heaviness alleviated itself significantly and I felt like I was able to focus more and move around more easier and things seemed clearer as if my vision was sharpened. Because when you are in a state of such intense depression and anxiety you start to feel hazy and you can perceive the cloudy delay in your field of vision whenever you turn your head to look at something.
 
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Dude, I'm para-schizo, and my brain tells me to be quiet around the cementary at night so I don't wake up any zombies. With a fear behind it. I laugh about it now, but next time I'm walking past a cemetary at night, I'm gonna have this fucking notion again, and it's very insistent, even when I fight it.

..Yeah don't buy into this stuff, it leads to further problems. I know it's hard to fight it, but you can. Sometimes when I get this particular feeling to be super quiet round the cemetary I just shout loudly. You need to confront yourself with objective thinking as often as you can. I know it often just doesn't work.

edit: What I'm getting at is this - there are no zombies walking around the cementary. Don't buy into schizophrenia's tricks.
 
i have been in total drug induced psychosis before where i had no anchor at all to the physical world the stuff i saw in this psychotic state was during a high dose lsd trip combed with other drugs like weed. Also been in stimulant psychosis and just a bit off in general as a kid i use to see ghosts even in places that i did not know where haunted at the time and would freak out seeing a ghost then the owner be like o yeah some freaky shit happens around here. In some cultures the schizophrenic's become shamans and treated a different way. Though schizophrenia itself is such a broad thing my uncle has it and was also on the demon delusion many times seeing demons in people in public.

When i had psychosis it was unlike anything else i was totally removed from this reality and fully felt the psychotic realm was more real than my entire life. I would fall into the hole of digging down those delusions for a while while never diagnosed and once clean from stimulants it cleared up i truly feel for those who suffer every day. You seem very smart and i knew some genius schizophrenic's over My life that could solve very complex Masters level math instantly with no idea how they came to the solution but just been told it by the voices. A very interesting disorder that i hope within 100 years we manage to fully understand it and cure it properly. The human mind is powerful and the most powerful calculator which unleashed is probably why many things do come true and deja vu the human mind is powerful and can run simulations and calculate all possible causes behind the scenes leading to people believing they can predict the future more it is a calculation of the future which can come true alot but also sometimes doesn't. You seem to know yourself well. Be careful with psychedelics too much of a dose will send people deeper into a spiraling hole. But you are your own free willed person. Take care of yourself and i hope you find a way to heal.
 
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