YLHQ--
It is difficult to answer whether or not I am schizophrenic, because I do not concur with doctor's assessments. There are a few physical indicators that only show that people's brains are different. Higher population of certain cells, lower concentrations of certain neurotransmitters, etc. These traits are definitely present, but to me that is not conclusive.
As far as hearing voices, etc. Yes. But I do not genuinely believe them to be hallucinatory in nature. They are coming from somewhere. I do not hear commands to go 'kill someone' or 'I am Jesus' kind of things. It's not like that.
It's just that my basic belief of who I am and how I relate to my surroundings is structured on what doctors call 'delusional thinking' and 'circular logic'.
I will admit that a few times I have had some pretty extreme hallucinatory episodes. Even one where I thought there was a severed head in my bathtub and two fingers poking out of the drain. I thought that the fingers belonged to the body, and that some woman was under the drain. I was not under the influence of any drugs at the time.
I worried at an early age that I was being monitored via some sort of electronic beam that was coming from a space station near the sun. I thought that I had created my body, and then voluntarily inhabited it via remote control. This body, I still believe, is simply an interface machanism designed to broadcast living conditions to me from the earth. I am not actually present here.
Think about this for a second, and it might make sense to you. If you have ever thought about astronauts training for spacewalking, you can imagine that the virtual reality suits that they have can create the impression that they are actually somewhere that they are not. Ok, I believe that I am elsewhere, simply recieving data in a holographic platform, and processing that data for analysis and consideration as a residence.
What happens when I die? Nothing. This body vanishes and this session is over, that's all.
It's like asking what happens to the guy in the tv when the tv gets smashed.
Our bodies are like different televisions. In our basic linguistic programming we have included an amnesia in order to experience this environment 'first hand', so to speak. The language that we normally think and communicate with is not linear. It is not necessarily sequential, either. It is a multifaceted phenomenon that says several things simultaneously. It is the illusion of physical memory that interferes with our ability to understand that we are in one moment only...now. We can remember before, and we can anticipate what is to come, but that is all nonexistent. It is only modeled for us by our brains, which interpret to us in a linear fashion. Our actual memory of where we come form is not accessible with linear syntax.
DMT will provide for you the syntax required to access the base programming language utilized to assemble the neural network that then translates certain physical events into linear languages, which again, are only models and not actual experience. This is evidenced by the fact that over 95% of actual physical data is filtered out by the sensitivity parameters that are set at birth. They are set to:
Memory: Erase-translate, flatten, record, store.
Extrapolation: Only data recognized--1% of light, 1% of sound, tactile-touch only, temperature.
Probability: Translation of spatial arrangement into linear syntax, store, translate again, store.
Ok, this last one is where everyone gets confused. We cannot remember our prior existence with our brains, because our brains only think in language and spatial relationships that can be translated in terms of time and distance, which are both very illusive concepts. We undertand where we are only in terms of what remember in our brains.
Our spirits, which reside elsewhere, are therefore not in any physical danger.
We are at a point in our evolution where we can still choose self-annihilation, or mortality, or eternal life. It is my belief that this is the only stage of development that allows for that.
If we record in our brains the erroneous notion tha the acquisition of pysical wealth is the primary objective, then the possibility arises that a flawed priority system will make its way into the realm of Godhood. Obviously this would be disastrous. In order to be perfect, then, we must be able to simultaneously be aware of self enhancement via plunder, which is in the end self annihilation, and voluntarily steer away from it.
I have discussed this basic framework with several doctors, and when we start getting into certain areas, such as phase linear experience with existing, but physically undetectable entities, my doctors start to recoil. Also, they fear that most of my beliefs about God, Christ (saviour of all), are not only delusional, but dangerous. I without any reservation whatsoever believe and state that Christ Jesus was the successful translation of simultaneous, flawless information into the physical realm. He transcribes himself, via His word, into our basic programming, which is flawed because of our loneliness and isolation. What he demonstrated is that we are not bound by these conditions. We are luminous beings, but our eyes cannot see this. When we ask for proof of God we are behaving like someone who demands proof that someone designed and built a skyscraper.
I can construct an argument, using evolution as the model, that skyscrapers evolved over time. Layers of sediment, seasons, etc.
So we deceive ourselves whe we assume that what we see and what we hear are evidence of anything at all. Less than five percent total, and then we have to interpret that data accurately, which is also impossible, because it is only a linguistic model.
Anyway, all I can say is that it is irrelevant whether or not I am shizophrenic. I am protected by none other than God the Creator, so what is there to worry for?
As for hallucinations--I will tell you what a hallucination is. It is simply an extrapalatory standing wave. Either a memory, distorted by inaccurate syntax/imagery, or an anticipation, likewise distorted.
Think about a stereo with bad speakers. Now, if you have an amplifier that is so powerful it overwhelmes the speakers, you can get distortion. Where is it coming from? The CD is clean. The amplifier, or brain, is clean.
The speakers are the analogy to language. Our language is insufficient to support certain concepts, hence, distortion. In other words, our minds are too powerful for language alone. Once we are introduced to certain concepts, overload is inevitable. The inferiority of linear syntax results in hallucinatory episodes.
Think about this: When you see a car far away it slooks a LOT smaller than it really is. Well, that in itself is a distortion of reality then, is it not?
Its just that we are used to to translating that in context accoring to our prior experiences, which is memory. When we see wild things on drugs, it is no different, its just that we have no prior experience with which to put it in context.
If you had knowledge that all cars were the same size before you ever saw anything, and then you were given sight, you would be blown away by the fact that they were all different sizes, until you had experience the phenomenon of PERSPECTIVE.
Any of this make sense?