scattered scientific theories...??? (merged with: what's the speed of dark?)

[Space_dolphin]

*Space_dolphin puts his hand up
i have this theory where everyone on earth is the same person, but in a different time frame and in a different past or future life, all interacting with themselves. so me, you and your neighbour are all the same person just in different stages of this long journey of reincarnation, its just that between rebirths we somehow forget.
umm...ok well it kinda makes more sense when youre doped, i guess

 

[jakoz]

^^^
Which would prove that the universe does revolve around me
Seriously tho - that one rox.

 

[deeCee]

Ok, lets intertwine theories and see what we come up with...

Originally posted by Space_dolphin:
i have this theory where everyone on earth is the same person, but in a different time frame and in a different past or future life, all interacting with themselves. so me, you and your neighbour are all the same person just in different stages of this long journey of reincarnation, its just that between rebirths we somehow forget.

Originally posted by deeCee1:
The meaning of life is when you are the last person to find out what was soo funny....
So the funniest thing in the world is when you finally find out we are all one person in different time frames therefore the first and last person to know.. and when we come to realise this.. Will Smith from MiB II comes and zaps with the memory eraser thingy and you start again... even though Will Smith is really yourself...
*Oh look Will Smith has come to my work!*
*zap......
[ 20 June 2002: Message edited by: deeCee1 ]

 

[Tarsarlan]

Space_dolphin: ...thought the same thing myself many times... Hmmm psychadelics can be fun

 

[CrimsonQueen]

In Science, I am particularly interested in Chemistry.
This is from the MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET.
Woman--Chemical Analysis
ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO+
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MAKE: Accepted as 110 lb. but known to vary from 100 to
550 pounds
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to
common ore
6. Yields to pressure if applied to correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and
precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for
no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by
saturation with alcohol
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
TASTE:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural
state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one at the same time

 

[**AJ**]

jakoz- i don't think your greased-toast theory would work for one simple reason: if you dropped some toast covered in maccas grease and it landed grease-side down, would you care? No.
If, however, you to were to use I Cant Believe it's not Butter, you would avoid the can't-spread-the-frozen-butter problem. You would also have an effective buttered-toast-propulsion unit, provided you (and perhaps everyone else) believed that the I Can't Believe it's not Butter was butter.
does that make sense?

 

[Andromeda]

IF you drilled a cat sized hole thru the middle of the earth, and dropped a buttered cat thru the middle of it, would it
1)fall straight to the centre of the earth and rotate at high speeds as the butter/cat constantly repel the strong magnetic fields,
2)tumble in and out of the hole at a constant rate as dictated by the laws of Simple Harmonic Motion,
or 3)become spaghetified as the butter trys to acheive its native state of splattered on the ground and the cat achieve its native state of landing straight up, while the midway interface of the cat/butter object forms a singularity at the centre of the earth, Pulling the opposing cat and butter forces past the cat/butter event horizon, therefore rendering the cat/butter object null and void...
Andromeda

 

[M_D_X_M_A]

^^^ NAH the poor bastard of a pussy would proberly fry from the molton lava and or from the friction from the butter or other substance evaporating from the fury pussy as he or she slid down the hole created in the ground as experianced by any red blooded male pussy no matter how much butter you put on the chaffing always returns!!!
SCATT OUT
Peace!

 

[Space_dolphin]

.... i also have a pet conspiracy theory that people use time travel to steal my ideas before i think of them.

 

[yaya]

Originally posted by Space_dolphin:
i have this theory where everyone on earth is the same person, but in a different time frame and in a different past or future life, all interacting with themselves. so me, you and your neighbour are all the same person just in different stages of this long journey of reincarnation, its just that between rebirths we somehow forget.
Kinda puts new meaning to the expression 'Go fuck yourself,' doesn't it?

 

[Tarsarlan]

If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on its feet.
But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right, you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.
The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and cheesed-off aliens crash on top of them.

 

[star_beats]

This morning Mirage and I were discussing a switch, with which you could switch on and off your feelings for another person....
It doesn't work.....

 

[mr_fluffy]

it's not a switch, it's more of a rheostat, so you can gradually turn the level down over time. the problem is that it has a few capacitors in it that randomly release and turn up the level now and again, and it's got a small feedback loop, so they never go to zero.

 

[Raving Loony]

*bump the fook up there*
Probability of car being shitted on by a bird (location dependant).

Vc -½z²
P = 1/(v2p).∫  e
0
Where ...
z = (1/(W².V³.Tc.SF/GF)² + 1) - µ) / d
where W = Wf/Wµ, V = (Vc-Vo)/Vc
Wf = The average number of times the driver get's the car washed in a year.
Wµ = The average number of times the driver should wash the car in a year.
Vc = The value of the vehicle.
Vo = The value of still owing on the vehicle.
Tc = The time that the car is out in the open.
SF = The Stinginess Factor of driver (a decimal value that ranges from 0 to 1).
GF = The Guilt Factor of driver (a decimal value that ranges from 0 to 1).
µ = The mean average time of all cars that cars spend outside on any trip.
d = The standard deviation of time spent outside in a trip.
It should be noted that an increase in the Stinginess factor results in a decrease in the chance of being stuck by bird shit.  However, this can be offset if the driver is suffering guilt.  If the driver is feeling guilty about what he/she is doing, then the probability increases.  Also, having more money to owe on your car is a big factor.  Stingey drivers have noticed the fact that birds love the new car smell.  Since a birds sense of smell is much stronger than ours, they rush for it.  But birds don't just love the smell of new cars, but also the aroma of a freshly washed car.
[i]Note: you may have to up your browser font size to read the code section.[/i]
[ 16 January 2003: Message edited by: Raving Loony ]

 

[gleep]

In order to reduce overhead, and avoid any possible legal complications with the RSPCA, the cat could be removed from the equation, by simply buttering both sides of the toast!

 

[gleep]

If Jakoz's theory is correct, hunger effects propulsion rate, that indicates that thought and emotion can influence physical reality!
Apply four different toppings (butter, nuttella, jam, vegemite) to the toast, one in each corner. Drop the Toast/Cat. Begin thinking about which topping you most desire. This corner of the toast will be repeled from the earth at a greater rate than the other toppings, making the Toast/Cat move in the opposite direction.
With some mental training, it should be possible to change your desire for different topping, giving you the ability to control the hovering Toast/Cat in 2 dimension! Wow!
gleep :D

 

[GhOst]

pity those hand drawn pictures on pages 1 and 2 arent around anymore... they were the best bits.

 

[PsychoKitten]

'cause i love this thread.

 

[Pseudo G]

This question has baffled many academics at my local pub.

When you driving down the freeway at 100km/hr and theres a fly inside the car, and you wind down the window to shoo it out, what happens to the fly once it leaves to confines of the car. Does it...

A) get its tiny little exoskeleton crushed by the air rushing towards it at 100km/hr (assuming no wind) and get its little eyes pushed through its arse.
B) Is unable to continue flight at 100km/hr and falls out of the air, albeit unharmed
C) Tears a hole in the space time continuum similar to a delorian going at 88 miles/hr and vanishes from that space and time to randomly re-appear elsewhere at a different time. This would explain how the fly got into the car in the first place...

Any ideas?

 

[haste]

^^ I'll go with C, its oozes with logic :D