Scary mental symptoms

[Kyl]

So what's up I'm kinda new here but figured I'd take the time to write this out. I've been having very terrible mental problems lately that are very vey troubling and quite honestly I'm scaring the shit out of myself with this. This gonna be hard to describe but I will try my best but first let me give you some history to better understand my situation.
I'm 19 I struggle with depression since I was 12, ptsd since 15, anorexia since 16(I am now past anorexia currently a healthy bmi), anxiety since 17, panic disorder since 18, and now recently in the past few months I have been having massive episodes of depersonalization and derealization. It's really unsettling and makes me very uneasy. Most of my problems stem from my Father's death when I was 15. But what I really want to focus on is the depersonalization and derealization since they are really fucking with me as of lately.
It all started when I was released off of probation and decided I'd try and smoke pot again for the first time in 4 or so months. I have history with lsd, shrooms, pot, and coke. However, I smoked some weed with my buddy and was instantly in a state of panic. I will try to tell you my symptoms.
-feeling unreal
-dream state/zoned out
-stared at myself in the mirror and didn't recognize myself
-constantly checking pulse/blood pressure
-thinking I'm not alive
-feeling like it's weird to be a human being almost like I want to jump out of my body. (Scariest symptom)
-horrible nightmares
-jaw clenching when I sleep
-hard to fall asleep as I feel I could never wake up
- eye floaters
And as of today I had a dream I smoked weed and nothing felt normal, everything was off, I was uneasy, and scared.
I told my mom a little about my symptoms and she was worried I couls be schizo but I don't hear voices and I'm not really paranoid about anything. I'm really just psyching myself out and it's becoming a terrible existence for me. I want to be happy and normal. It's also very hard for me to accept death. I'm so terrified of death that it keeps me up at night bc I'm afraid I'll die in my sleep.
Anyways, this is very long but I just need some advice and a way to cope a bit. Any reply would help me.

Thank you,
Kyl

 

[Londonscouser]

I've read stories very similar to this many many times. So am i right in saying that the weed you smoked caused you to experience depersonalization & derealization ? or were they there before ?

Firstly, you are not schizo and most likely won't develop that because none of your symptoms relate to positive or even negative symptoms. I believe symptoms such as these occur due to anxiety/panic that the brain can't seem to handle, so in essence you feel like this because your brain has gone into defensive mode, in order to 'cope'.

Most people i read, state that they feel like they are in a dream or a movie, and they feel like they are watching themselves from a 3rd person perspective. You might not even realise , but how are your emotions ? do you feel emotionally numb ?

The good news is that none of those symptoms induced by weed are permanent, although they can take a long-ass time to completely vanish. If you want, send me a message and ill direct you to hundreds/thousands very similar stories of people who even only smoked 1 single time and experienced what you have.

The bad news is that is obviously takes a long time...im talking in the region of 4-24 months, depending on the individual. You could try a antidepressant to get rid of the symptoms, but i wouldn't want you take an antidepressant because i think you could beat this thing with hard work and dedication.

I would recommend exercising a few times a week, and try something like yoga. Also meditation will certainly help. You should also go buy some fish oil tablets, and some multi vitamins, mainly B, C , D, E.

I'm not a doctor, so you should only take my advice with a grain of salt. Although i have literally read 1000's of stories in regards to symptoms you seem to have. Also i study neurology at university !

 

[Tanner Blaze]

I could have written this exact post from the OP, this happened to me when I was 17. I stopped smoking for about 6 months, and then ate a pot brownie at my neighbors house and thougt I was losing my mind. You'll be fine, although I couldn't smoke weed again for a long time without it inducing anxiety, so I quit althogether a year later. I have a family history of mental illness though so drugs are kinda bad for me to begin with.

 

[Kyl]

I've read stories very similar to this many many times. So am i right in saying that the weed you smoked caused you to experience depersonalization & derealization ? or were they there before ?

Firstly, you are not schizo and most likely won't develop that because none of your symptoms relate to positive or even negative symptoms. I believe symptoms such as these occur due to anxiety/panic that the brain can't seem to handle, so in essence you feel like this because your brain has gone into defensive mode, in order to 'cope'.

Most people i read, state that they feel like they are in a dream or a movie, and they feel like they are watching themselves from a 3rd person perspective. You might not even realise , but how are your emotions ? do you feel emotionally numb ?

The good news is that none of those symptoms induced by weed are permanent, although they can take a long-ass time to completely vanish. If you want, send me a message and ill direct you to hundreds/thousands very similar stories of people who even only smoked 1 single time and experienced what you have.

The bad news is that is obviously takes a long time...im talking in the region of 4-24 months, depending on the individual. You could try a antidepressant to get rid of the symptoms, but i wouldn't want you take an antidepressant because i think you could beat this thing with hard work and dedication.

I would recommend exercising a few times a week, and try something like yoga. Also meditation will certainly help. You should also go buy some fish oil tablets, and some multi vitamins, mainly B, C , D, E.

I'm not a doctor, so you should only take my advice with a grain of salt. Although i have literally read 1000's of stories in regards to symptoms you seem to have. Also i study neurology at university !

Thanks so much for the reply. Very interesting and helpful read.
Yeah the dp/dr showed up after I smoked weed after a long T-break. And my emotions have been mainly sad. I have moments when I'm w friends where I forget everything bad going on but it always comes back. Depression is my main struggle bc I've had it for so long. And when you asked if I'm emotionally numb it sure feels that way when it come to happiness and joy but I still feel sadness and panic very deeply. I really hope this goes away as you said it would. I don't think I could do this forever.

 

[methyldreams]

|->I'm 19 I struggle with -- past few months I have been having massive episodes of depersonalization and derealization. It's really unsettling and makes me very uneasy
|panic disorder since 18 manifest into a panic disorder
|anxiety since 17 leads onto anxiety
|anorexia since 16(I am now past anorexia currently a healthy bmi - ptsd maybe cause by sexual abude due to development on anorexia
|ptsd since 15, something hapend you couldn't mentally process
|->depression since I was 12, bad childhood.
From my observation I would say this individual has never been able to or had the help or support to be able handle traumatic events with any kind of healthy healing processes.
Needs to learn how to understand his consiounces/soul/brain/elctrical impulses whatever that he has to filter the crap that enters our heads quite frequently is not who we are, Some stuff is real and its awesome and all powerful magical presence that once you feel and see it at work you understand that everything is going to be ok. I believe in aliens, I believe in bank/commercialization monopolized and are holding the worlds population at racism right now, the technologies are only coming out in a very very slow trickle... anyway mate good luck. take control of your mind, if you cant go see a doctor

 

[Londonscouser]

Just make sure you don't smoke weed again for at least a long time after your symptoms disappear. Also do not drink alcohol. Try lead a healthy life for faster recovery.

 

[Gozac6414]

Few months ago I smoked marijuana for the first time and had a bad trip I slept woke up and was fine just a little hungover or so I may call it after that day I was fine then a week later I suddenly had anxiety from no where hit me I took valium slept when I woke my life wasn't the same I had music playing in my head can't think at all since then these are the symptoms I have been having
Intense dream like feeling
Music in my head 24/7
Unconnected thoughts coming from no where
Brain feels like it's thinking on its own
Can't sleep
Thinking while sleeping
Dream everyday
Feel Unconnected to the world
Can't sense or feel my environment
Feels like am blind
Brain feels totally numb
And lots of other things I can't explain
Pls help me this is too much I need help anybody pls I don't have access to a hospital and I don't have money pls anything I can do to cure or referring me to some who has been through the same thing will help me a lot pls thanks

 

[T.E.D.]

When came off benzo sand alcohol I had ALL the symptoms you are describing. I was withdrawing but coming of mind bending depressants spiraled me into an extreme state of anxiety that took 3 weeks to start getting better. It sounds like maybe you triggered a similar state. 6 weeks sober I got in a fight with my girl and all the sudden it was all back again. So it is possible for your brain to enter a very bizarre state if it is triggered some how. I would not start taking all kinds of Ned's trying to fix it. I'm assuming you won't be stuck like this. Try vigorous exercise. That helped reduce my severe anxiety state very little by little.

 

[lostboy420]

Few months ago I smoked marijuana for the first time and had a bad trip I slept woke up and was fine just a little hungover or so I may call it after that day I was fine then a week later I suddenly had anxiety from no where hit me I took valium slept when I woke my life wasn't the same I had music playing in my head can't think at all since then these are the symptoms I have been having
Intense dream like feeling
Music in my head 24/7
Unconnected thoughts coming from no where
Brain feels like it's thinking on its own
Can't sleep
Thinking while sleeping
Dream everyday
Feel Unconnected to the world
Can't sense or feel my environment
Feels like am blind
Brain feels totally numb
And lots of other things I can't explain
Pls help me this is too much I need help anybody pls I don't have access to a hospital and I don't have money pls anything I can do to cure or referring me to some who has been through the same thing will help me a lot pls thanks

Hi, I deal with a lot of similar symptoms, although I think they're more med withdrawal induced than weed induced, probably a combination of both to be honest. If you'd like to talk about it maybe we can help each other out. The music in my head thing just began recently and it sucks.

-LB

 

[EllinesMono]

hey man I have had depersonalization and derealization disorder for almost a year now and I know that it feels like your loosing your mind and that everything including my reply to your thread and you making the thread feel unreal. And you probably feel like you are trapped inside a lucid dream which you can not wake up from. After A year of the disorder I have done a lot to help myself and I am doing way better (other then the fact I smoked pot last month and my chest was burning because of my heartbeat) but I also have dreams of smoking pot and it is very odd because like you said nothing felt normal. But don't worry you aren't going schizo I promise and if you want any specific advice let me know!