I'm here to share my experience. I hope nobody minds. I really just want to get this off my chest, but I also hope that anyone who thinks, as I once thought, that you have to take a whole packet, or even half a packet of benzos to black out and do stupid shit will learn from my mistake.
To start off, I'm currently in the process of being treated for severe anxiety and severe depression. Before I go any further, I should say that I do have suicidal thoughts fairly often, if not every day, but I've never actually gone through with it, only one very minor attempt where I wasn't injured. I don't want to die, but sometimes when I'm at my lowest its not a terrible thought. I don't believe I would ever seriously harm myself or put myself in any risk of dying while I'm... Well, while my brain is still functioning in even a barely-even-normal way. (Hope that made sense!)
I was prescribed oxazepam (serepax) 15mg, one tablet three times a day only when needed. I knew benzos were addictive, so I made sure to be careful and only take them when I REALLY needed them. Last Friday was an extremely bad day for me, full of fighting with my partner, multiple anxiety attacks, and then, on top of everything, I had to go work a 7:30pm - 5:00am shift at the gentleman's club I dance in. My job requires me to be outgoing, confident and happy for me to make any money, and I just wasn't feeling it that night.
That afternoon I decided to take a serepax tablet before work, as I couldn't afford a night off. After waiting for the serepax to take full effect, it still didn't feel like it was doing enough for me, so I took another tablet. That was better, my anxiety disappeared a little while after taking the second serepax, but I soon found out that it didn't disappear for long enough. I ended up taking another 15mg serepax tablet every couple of hours to keep the anxiety away, and honestly I felt fine. I was a little dopey, and a little tired, but nothing serious- no loss of memory, no loss of control, and I definitely wasn't saying or doing anything stupid. I honestly felt fine.
So the night went well, I did well money wise, I wasn't suffering through anxiety, and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself for getting through the night. Unfortunately, silly me didn't realise the in would be closing an hour early, so when I felt my anxiety coming back at around 4am, maybe only an hour after I'd taken the last tablet, I took another serepax. No more than five minutes later, last drinks were called and we all packed up and left. The drive home went just fine. I was still feeling quite normal at this point, maybe a little more tired than I was earlier, but it wasn't a long drive and I was nowhere close to falling asleep behind the wheel.
The last thing I clearly remember is walking through the front door, then I woke up in my bed. I vaguely remembered having a quarter of a 10mg Zolpidem sleeping pill. That morning I found the packet of serepax. At the beginning if the night there was still probably around a third of the pack, maybe just under half of a pack left (the packs come with 30 tablets or so, if I remember correctly), and now they were all gone. There were empty beer bottles on the coffee table near where the empty serepax packet was. It wasn't until Sunday night that I found the empty zolpidem packet. I'd taken more than half a packet of them in the space of what must have been a couple of hours. That terrified me.
Now, I don't know how much you need to ingest or mix or whatever to seriously hurt yourself or die, but I think I was extremely lucky. What if I'd had more serepax and zolpidem? Or more alcohol?
I wasn't taking these pills to get high or anything like that, I started the night taking them to help my anxiety. I also have a very low tolerance of benzos, as much as it doesn't sound like it after having to take a few to relieve any of my anxiety. Now I've learnt a lesson. I don't know how close I came or how far I was, but I could have killed myself that night, and it's scary to think that I may have come close to it.
In short, be careful with benzos. I didn't realise anything was wrong, and I honestly felt fine, until it hit me like a brick after 9+ hours of continually taking 15mg oxazepam every couple of hours.
I would like to hear input or similar experiences anyone has had on oxazepam, zolpidem or any benzo / sleeping aid / other downer.
To start off, I'm currently in the process of being treated for severe anxiety and severe depression. Before I go any further, I should say that I do have suicidal thoughts fairly often, if not every day, but I've never actually gone through with it, only one very minor attempt where I wasn't injured. I don't want to die, but sometimes when I'm at my lowest its not a terrible thought. I don't believe I would ever seriously harm myself or put myself in any risk of dying while I'm... Well, while my brain is still functioning in even a barely-even-normal way. (Hope that made sense!)
I was prescribed oxazepam (serepax) 15mg, one tablet three times a day only when needed. I knew benzos were addictive, so I made sure to be careful and only take them when I REALLY needed them. Last Friday was an extremely bad day for me, full of fighting with my partner, multiple anxiety attacks, and then, on top of everything, I had to go work a 7:30pm - 5:00am shift at the gentleman's club I dance in. My job requires me to be outgoing, confident and happy for me to make any money, and I just wasn't feeling it that night.
That afternoon I decided to take a serepax tablet before work, as I couldn't afford a night off. After waiting for the serepax to take full effect, it still didn't feel like it was doing enough for me, so I took another tablet. That was better, my anxiety disappeared a little while after taking the second serepax, but I soon found out that it didn't disappear for long enough. I ended up taking another 15mg serepax tablet every couple of hours to keep the anxiety away, and honestly I felt fine. I was a little dopey, and a little tired, but nothing serious- no loss of memory, no loss of control, and I definitely wasn't saying or doing anything stupid. I honestly felt fine.
So the night went well, I did well money wise, I wasn't suffering through anxiety, and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself for getting through the night. Unfortunately, silly me didn't realise the in would be closing an hour early, so when I felt my anxiety coming back at around 4am, maybe only an hour after I'd taken the last tablet, I took another serepax. No more than five minutes later, last drinks were called and we all packed up and left. The drive home went just fine. I was still feeling quite normal at this point, maybe a little more tired than I was earlier, but it wasn't a long drive and I was nowhere close to falling asleep behind the wheel.
The last thing I clearly remember is walking through the front door, then I woke up in my bed. I vaguely remembered having a quarter of a 10mg Zolpidem sleeping pill. That morning I found the packet of serepax. At the beginning if the night there was still probably around a third of the pack, maybe just under half of a pack left (the packs come with 30 tablets or so, if I remember correctly), and now they were all gone. There were empty beer bottles on the coffee table near where the empty serepax packet was. It wasn't until Sunday night that I found the empty zolpidem packet. I'd taken more than half a packet of them in the space of what must have been a couple of hours. That terrified me.
Now, I don't know how much you need to ingest or mix or whatever to seriously hurt yourself or die, but I think I was extremely lucky. What if I'd had more serepax and zolpidem? Or more alcohol?
I wasn't taking these pills to get high or anything like that, I started the night taking them to help my anxiety. I also have a very low tolerance of benzos, as much as it doesn't sound like it after having to take a few to relieve any of my anxiety. Now I've learnt a lesson. I don't know how close I came or how far I was, but I could have killed myself that night, and it's scary to think that I may have come close to it.
In short, be careful with benzos. I didn't realise anything was wrong, and I honestly felt fine, until it hit me like a brick after 9+ hours of continually taking 15mg oxazepam every couple of hours.
I would like to hear input or similar experiences anyone has had on oxazepam, zolpidem or any benzo / sleeping aid / other downer.
