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Scary Diazepam Withdrawal

O

Origami

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
6
Hi everyone I'm new to the forum. I just wanted to ask some questions pertaining to Diazepam withdrawal. I recently went overseas after smoking weed daily and taking diazepam (as well as trying pingas a few times) to spend the holidays with the family. I am a 40kg young girl and was popping the diazepam for about 5 weeks (v stupid, but I also feel like I was prescribed way too much by the GP for my anxiety in the first place). I reduced my dosage myself for a few days before my trip and the weed seemed to alleviate any symptoms of withdrawal as I was unaware of it entirely. It was on the plane and in the morning of my flight that I started feeling all the effects of terrible withdrawal. Firstly I was unable to sleep for 3 days, couldn’t eat, was breathless, sweating, fatigued, my hands trembled, I had heart palpitations, terrible panic, combined with emotionlessness, depression and 1 episode of paranoia that quickly faded. I was going through very stressful things during this time of (what we assume to be) withdrawal and have issues with self-harm, depression and anxiety pre-existing.

Since that one quick instance of paranoia and suicide attempts (which was a few weeks ago, almost immediately upon stopping all the drugs) I've been recovering mostly...It's been nearly a month since my last diazepam and I still do not feel completely back to my old self, although /most/ of the symptoms have subsided. Except I'm seeing shadows that aren't there, feel emotionless, aggressive, have more paranoid thoughts (that I can reason with) and bad mood swings [these things never happened before the diazepam]. But these symptoms very much come and go. Right now I feel pretty fine. Most importantly I'm not suicidal and such a mess physically. I feel normal sometimes and I've been functioning for the most part. But those other things are affecting my relationship with my family and causing me to withdraw socially. I was unable to see a doctor to confirm it in this country but me, my family and close friends after discussion decided it was probably because of the withdrawal. They said it’s not like me at all. A drug test concluded I had no other drugs in my system aside from THC. I haven't touched any more drugs in this time and don't plan to. I wanted to ask if this indeed sounds like it is still diazepam withdrawal (as I haven't been able to confirm it from anyone who knows anything about drugs). Was around 5 weeks long enough to get physically addicted if I was popping 7 to 12 x 2mg pills a night in one go at its worst point?

My panic disorder feels worse overall, when initially I was taking this in the first place to alleviate my anxiety symptoms. They have been more frequent and more intense. Is the panic attacks worsening going to be long term effect? I'm very new to the drug world and believe it was just a phase, so I am rather uninformed and know I was being reckless. Also around when will I feel back to normal? And most importantly, do I need to seek professional psychological help for these symptoms? I do not wish to go on further anxiety medication after this experience…

Thanks for your time. I just haven't talked about this with many people and wanted information from experienced people since I'm a little scared. Feels like I'll never be back to normal. :( I've been toughing it out so far though. Hopefully this was the right place for this thread.
 
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Yes, you can become dependent after 5 weeks (usually after 2-3 wks with benzos), but the good news is the withdrawals won't last very long, hopefully.. as you have only been taking them briefly. Some folks are on them for years. Severity, (7-12mg is a lot without a tolerance), and length of use, play a big part in how long the withdrawals will last. Also, your original symptoms will be worse probably for a while as they'll be exacerbated by the withdrawal.. but will level out eventually once you reach homeostasis.
Good for you for cutting off the benzos and dealing with this sooner than later. I'm sorry you are suffering so much. There are otc remedies that can help.

I would seek some treatment therapies for your anxiety indeed, so you don't reinitiate diazepam again… It's a sneaky drug. I've been on it.
 
Smoky said:
Yes, you can become dependent after 5 weeks (usually after 2-3 wks with benzos), but the good news is the withdrawals won't last very long, hopefully.. as you have only been taking them briefly. Some folks are on them for years. Severity, (7-12mg is a lot without a tolerance), and length of use, play a big part in how long the withdrawals will last. Also, your original symptoms will be worse probably for a while as they'll be exacerbated by the withdrawal.. but will level out eventually once you reach homeostasis.
Good for you for cutting off the benzos and dealing with this sooner than later. I'm sorry you are suffering so much. There are otc remedies that can help.

I would seek some treatment therapies for your anxiety indeed, so you don't reinitiate diazepam again… It's a sneaky drug. I've been on it.
Click to expand...

It would've been 14 to 24 mg actually. >_< Cuz one pill was 2 mg...alright well it's good that it is indeed the diazepam. I'll try and get non drug related therapy for the disorder. Also, what kind of OTC remedies? If anyone can give me info? I'm going to look it up myself as well though.
 
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I'm not a doctor, but ime/o I would say yeah, even after a month you probably are experiencing 'some' w/drawals coupled with the organic issues..
That's not an excessively high dose in mgs but for someone on them only 5 weeks I would say it is high for you and your body weight.

OTCs like L theanine, L Glutamine, B 6 vitamins.. relaxing teas.. Maybe some Valarian, or Kava root could be helpful.
L Glutamine helped me, it slows the system down. Everyone does respond differently of course to these, but generally helpful amino acids.

I usually recommend Gabapentin, as you might have some gaba deficiencies… but you've been off benzos for a month.. so you might not need it now, and it needs to be scripted. Some beta blockers help for in the moment panic also, physically.

There are some other benzo threads on BL with lots of good advice as well….
Hang in there
~ Smoky <3
 
Thanks so much for the helpful advice and well wishes. It's nice that somebody understands what I'm going through and I appreciate it. Will keep doing further reading and I feel a lot more confident that things will get better.
 
I'll try to...sometimes I think I see vague blurry figures in places around me that are shadowy for a second or two. It's happening less and less I believe. Pretty early on in the withdrawal I thought I saw a figure in a place that was completely in light, for around 3 or 4 seconds right when I woke up and stared at for a while before it went away. And when I was spending time with my S.O. a few weeks ago, I suddenly kept thinking I could see them everywhere, couldn't feel any emotions, didn't feel like I was completely real and had the urge to hurt myself to feel something. That was the worst time and it only happened once. My S.O. told me it's probably just because of the drugs and when I did read about withdrawal it said it's possible to have psychosis...but I have no idea how that works really.

Anyway...I've never had anything like that happen before and it hasn't happened after. Nobody in my family has a history of any schizophrenia or psychological disorders aside from anxiety and depression...so I've been trying to move on with things in hopes it'll go away. I'm not sure if I should see a professional on returning to the country I live in...my guesses are it was just withdrawal related. Guess it could be from the stress. But I don't know much about this stuff. My parents are not supportive of anything I'm going through, as well, as they believe it's self inflicted as I chose to "mess with my brain chemicals". I would have to wait until I get back to get help. And there's nobody I can really talk to about this aside from the S.O. who just says to wait it out.
 
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I used to see shadow people… or ghosts. For me it was a lack of sleep and withdrawal… sometimes they are still there today but not as frequent…
Some people do see things out of the corner of their eyes, then look and it's not there….. Post trauma can also present these images… especially when feeling unreal and dissociated..ungrounded with inability to feel. The sympathetic nervous system might also be activated in these times… and pupils could be dilated effecting vision… especially if you are experiencing stress.
There is probably some research out there.. I just don't think you are alone… It might not be schizophrenia.. especially if you have not had an earlier onset… of hallucinations. I would think anyways, but could be wrong. Peripheral vision is also different in humans than animals.
 
This seems too much to be caused by benzo WDs imo,especially since youre not a long term user and fortunately,diazepam is considered to be one of the(relatively) "weakest" benzos of its kind.10 2mg pills might seem alot(and maybe are for a person with low/no tolerance) but actually its equivalent to 2 "regular" Valium,Stedon(brand names) pills which are 10mg diazepam/pill,so really its not that much.

Maybe some pre existing issues that you mentioned combined with extensive weed smoking played a bigger part in this(weed is notorious for causing paranoia/anxiety/illogical fear to some people and can sometimes worsen mental illness-provided that the user suffers from such thing).

Im not telling you this to discourage you from smoking weed or encourage you to pop pills,but to consider the possibility of this being a result of the "bigger picture",maybe some mental health issues(possibly completely unrelated to drugs) that require attention from a professional.

Self medicating will usually lead to further complications,so before you get seriously addicted to benzos(one of the worst addictions to have) maybe you could try to combat the problem with alternative ways!
 
@Black Kat It woulda been close to 3 regular valium pills (14mg rounded up). (Oh and I reread what I said and I mentioned 24mg. That's like. 5 at its worst point. Isn't it. I thought vallies come in 2, 5 and 10mg? Yeah...looking it up it can come in all different doses. The 10mg vallies are not exactly a "regular" or "standard" dosage). My parents noticed the withdrawal symptoms more than I did despite me trying to hide it, though. They thought I was on ice or something, that's how bad it was. Because they started reading out the symptoms of withdrawal from hard drugs and saying it sounded kinda like what they saw. So they took me to get tested...I think I definitely developed a physical dependency to Diazepam, since I wasn't the only one who noticed...I don't think it's fair to disregard it. I did see a doctor very briefly to get some more pills before my parents noticed anything and they were very hesitant when observing me and of course I didn't want to act like anything was up in case I needed to taper off. My Dad was in the room so I couldn't admit I was popping them at that point. The Doctor told my Dad explicitly to keep them and dispense them rather than leave them with me and looked concerned. I did mention I hadn't been able to sleep or eat since my flight. And they asked me to put my hand out and it was shaking. He asked me when my last pills were and my dad told him what he believed was the correct answer, because he didn't know I had been taking some a bit nonprescription after mine ran out. The doctor just said it seemed odd. They reduced the dose to 1 or 2 x 2mg pills as I'm "so small and it seems like I was prescribed a lot". Anyway I decided that was not really different from cold turkey, plus my Dad was reluctant to give them to me, so I just went for it. Just the doctor only implied his concern, didn't really explicitly say specifically "it seems like withdrawal" and my parents wouldn't like to pay for me to see one again. Which is why I wanted to ask what you guys thought.

I don't disregard the possibility that weed and pre-existing conditions played a part in the nature of the WD symptoms. But there's nothing I can really do now except stay off the drugs. Could also be the sudden change of environment + trauma contributing. Dunno if I should get it checked out unless it worsens. It doesn't sound quite like psychotic episodes or schizophrenia in the traditional sense. I've really never had anything like this before so it's hard for me to understand what's going on.

@Smoky Yeah, it's a peripheral thing after that one incident. That's really interesting. It could really be anything then. I suppose I won't know unless I actually get it considered by a psychologist...alright. I'll go see one at some point when I'm back. Thanks.
 
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Thank you for the description:) very familiar to me and many other people.

This phenomenon is really amazing. I'm both intimately experienced and fascinated by this. First, I hope given your current state you don't get offended by a little exploration into this. I figure this will give you more comfort than harm. I don't think this is anything like psychofrenia. Its brought on by many things.. stimulant psycoses, sleep deprivation, sleep paralysis, and some people can just see them.

The amazing part is that everybody, from all parts of the world, all backgrounds, all beliefs, all cultures, all intelligence and education, and all situations see the same thing. The shadow people are the seemingly "lowest" forums. Then the hooded figure. Finally the Hat man or what others referred to as the "government man."

What ever it is or whatever they are they cant harm or directly effect us. I'm not a doctor, but my educated guess is that you either went into a detox induced mania, or that you are very low on sleep, or both.

I have never heard of this being a permanent condition and given that you have no schizophrenia in your family i think your going to slip out just fine. <3

Here is a thread about them, but please decide if you may wan't to wait a bit longer to view it. I just would hate for it to have a negative effect on you. It also is in drug culture so its not covered by recovery no trigger rules for anyone that may be triggered.

Who are the shadow people?

Again sorry you got hit by such an experience<3 but my take would be that you should come out of this perfect. I this does not happen in an acceptable time frame or it clearly starts getting worse then please go to see a good medical professional.

Love to hear what you think at a time that's appropriate and good for you.

Goodspeed to touchdown for you<3
 
I've barely known what planet I was on when going through benzo wd in the past.

I don't really have a lot to add to what has been said as it seems that you're through the worst and have had lots of good info anyway. One thing I will say is that it's probably best to stop worrying about how long it will take to feel back to normal, everyone is different and if you have in your head that you're expecting to feel good by a certain time and it doesn't happen it can be hard work. Better to just say 'it will take as long as it takes' and go with the flow imo.

Doing a diazepam detox myself at the moment, only six days in and I'm well on the way to being right as rain even though I had acquired a tiny opiate habit as well before kicking! Been eating at least something basically every day and back to almost full appetite already, not a lot remaining other than a little fatigue and some chills%). By the same token as what I said above, if you start worrying about how long things will take it can also trap you in a psychological loop of searching out every last little symptom and feeling worse than you would be if you just roll with it.
 
Hmm,i think you misunderstood me,maybe it came out wrong(sorry,english isnt my first language) :/

I didnt mean to disregard your addiction,ive seen ppl(including myself) being addicted to WAY less,i just wanted to make sure that you dont misjudge your condition based on various horror stories you can find all around the web about benzo WDs etc..I mean there are ppl who read that Heroin withdrawals is hell on earth,so after they do a small amount for a couple of days,they are scared shitless,so they start thinking about it and actually make the situation worse,trying to ease their "withdrawals"..Im NOT saying thats you,but you get what i mean right?

I just dont want you to think that a 5-6 week benzo use will haunt you forever,and go find the "cure" in pills next time you feel something similar to the things you describe in your OP(whereas other underlying issues could be the key).

Truth is that even after a half month benzo use,youd still feel somewhat uncomfortable,and 6 weeks is a decent period of time,but its not THAT bad to be producing the effects you described.Idk,ive abstained from benzos after months and months of flunitrazepam/Xanax abuse,and even for me,it wasnt that bad..

*Again,i hope im not coming out like a rambling disrespectful a-hole,i truly feel for you,and my intentions were to try to make you feel good about yourself by pointing out that hopefully you dont have such a huge problem as you first thought.
Sorry for any misunderstandings. :/
 
So I finally feel better. I'm so thankful for that. I wanted to post to let others know in case they're going through the same sort of thing. I feel like my old self again...just still anxious sometimes because I don't have the drug to take those feelings away any more. But there's no more crazy stuff or physical symptoms in the slightest and everyone was right that it was just the withdrawal. The drugs definitely made things worse rather than help in the long run, so my advice is to not try these drugs for your anxiety if you can't trust yourself with them. It's surprising how fast you can get hooked and you have to be very careful with your brain chemistry if you have already pre-existing conditions. TRY ANOTHER KIND OF TRANQUILLISER! Benzos are sooo bad. I'm mad that the doctor gave it to me before exploring other possible pills or even non-medicinal options. Another thing is, it sucks because you might wanna harmlessly enjoy the same pleasures others can (like weed, pills or even alcohol) but you have to remember that you have a condition and while that doesn't make you any less of a person, you need to own up to the fact you will be negatively affected by the same things your "normal" friends do for fun. Or more prone to go overboard and use the substance too much. It's worth all the hell in the end, to get clean and get your life together. I feel 100% better. PHEW!

@neversickanymore I'm not sure my opinion on the 'shadow people'. I think that as you said it was detox induced mania or something similar. I think it might just be a common hallucination that people share, probably from psychosis induced from an organic cause upon reading that thread. But I'm not a spiritual person so that might be why I think so. I'm not discrediting anybody else's opinion. I'm just not informed on the subject. :)

Thanks to everyone for imparting their knowledge on me when I was confused and scared. It helped a lot to be able to actually understand what I was going through and stop worrying about when I would get better.
 
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Glad your feeling better.
Dangerous as hell to cold turrkey benzos.
I seen the Doc a couple of weeks ago and told her about my benzo and methadone cold turkey
and she bitched me out for like ten minutes about how dangerous both were.
I just figured there was nothing they could do for you so why bother. Having experienced what I did I would definetly do it under Doctors care if I could go back.
Trick is finding right Doc IMO.
 
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