Scared

This past week has been intense. The fact that I won't hear Chris's laugh again is just too much to bear. I can't believe he's gone and I don't think I ever will.

The whole world seems to be against me. Once I start feeling slightly better, everything blows up in my face and it's back to square one. It never ends.

Part of me just wants to end it all, but I can't do that to my mom or my Azrael. I scare myself though because sometimes the feeling is so strong that I don't even think about them. All I can do is hope the feeling passes. It always does, but I feel like a walking time bomb.

I don't know what to do anymore.

 

Spork......
You will work through it.....you are a strong girl.
I do understand the loss of a friend.....One of my good friends passed a few years ago and I STILL sometimes feel like we justfell out of touch or something and I will look him up and call him.......butno.
Its sad, but you get through it....
I know things feel hopeless now, but they will get better.
Try to keep your head up.

 

Oh dear. It seems like every time I go away from bluelight for a while, I come back to sad news. I'm so so sorry for what you're going through. Death is crushing and it feels like a pain you can't bear, I know, but you can. And it will get better, I promise.