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Scared. Don't know what to expect.

KiwiQflyer

KiwiQflyer

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2006
Messages
2,645
So I've been thinking about going to the hospital the last few days, but I'm really scared. I just feel so done with everything, and the only thing stopping me is my friends and family. I can't put them through all that. But I really don't know what to expect and I'm really scared. I don't even know where to go when I get there or what to say. How long do I have to stay?? Work gave me 3 days off...I know some of you have been there before. What amd I supposed to do and what should I expect??
 
You feel you need to go to a psych hospital? I don't want to say do or don't because I don't know all of the variables, but I will say psych hospitals are not fun places to be, and sometimes are counter-productive in what you hope to get out of them. On the other hand, they can be helpful to those who really need to be supervised because of suicidal or homicidal ideation or intentions. It is a decision you have to make for yourself. I wish you the best. I have been in psych wards and had some of the most miserable times of my life, but I came through the otherside after an entire summer of hospitlization.
 
I'm afraid that I can't offer any advice or experience in this regard, but I just wanted to wish you the best during this difficult time. Sometimes we need to go through a crisis before we're able to turn things around - that was certainly the case for me - and I truly hope that you are able to make your way through yours fruitfully.
 
Alex got it.

Kiwi, it's not a matter of you subjecting your friends or family through your difficulties. They want you to get better. If you feel in danger for your life or your safety, it is better that you make the call, as likely your insight will bring you through. You feel pressured and that is understandable. I think that an adventurous soul as you should be seeing the better side of living your own life sooner than later.

I hope you soon feel more brave and empowered. I think, however little I have known you, that there's a load of wonderful things ahead of you. I hope you see the world this way as well. The world we live in may be scary. This does not necessarily dictate that one must be afraid. All platitudes aside, be strong. Your friends and family need you. <3

If you are in need of going to the hospital, do so. You might discover something you never knew; you might discover something you never wished you may never have known. When I was in a place similar, I found insight. I cannot adequately describe my experience. I do know that if you are thinking you might hurt yourself or another, that it is important you get somewhere safe, in a safe manner.

I hope the care you need finds you. <3
 
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In my twenties I checked myself into psych wards three different times for exactly the same reasons you are. The minimum hold is 72 hours. Checking yourself in is very different from being forcibly incarcerated. It can be a safe place to get your head in a better place. I usually called a crisis line and told them how I was feeling and that I was indeed scared that I was going to hurt myself and they sent a taxi to pick me up. If you simply take yourself to the hospital you can just tell them what you are feeling and why you are there; they will take you seriously and work out a plan with you. I am so impressed with you for recognizing what you need to do for yourself. Good luck.<3 (((<3)))
 
I've been. If you check yourself in, you can check yourself out, so long as you don't get combative (more like pose a significant risk..I've gotten combative plenty of times) towards yourself or others in front of anyone. Your sanity and well-being is more important than if you keep your job at the moment though, so I really wouldn't be worrying about the implications. The fact that you're really putting in an effort to get well (an extreme one, which most that aren't never try), shows a lot of initiative in the first place. Psych doctors will reckognize this. I'm guessing what you fear most is losing your job and being held against your will. You're already holding yourself against your own will are you not? Don't even get me started about death. You can do it Kiwi. And the truth shall set you free.

I really wish you the best. Please don't give up.
 
^-It is not true "if you check yourself in, you can check yourself out"
The only way out is your doctors consent. (I tried to check myself out after three days and i was fuck stuck. It suckd.

I feel that if you think you need it then you should try it out. If you are pretty sane then you will probably get a week in there.

It is good for some to go an just think about their life and what you can do different. If you go try to go in openminded and just think of it as a vacation for your mind. It can be really hard. I checked myself in once to get meds. Horrible idea. Days feel like weeks.

If you think you are a danger to urself or others i suggest you go, if not is there anywhere else you can go to escape stress for a while and get your thoughts straight?
 
I, too, was voluntarily hospitalized for psychiatric illness (bipolar disorder and chemical dependency). I spent seven days on the general psychiatric unit of a psychiatric hospital and then an additional ninety days in residential treatment for my dual diagnosis. I was fucked up on drugs I should not have been taking, and not taking the ones that were prescribed (like my lithium), and very suicidal and depressed. The first few days were a blur, and I don't remember very much from them. I was at an excellent hospital that my doctor knew about--I didn't go to the local emergency room (I've been in and out of emergency rooms before for mental health issues and they can be real snake pits).
 
Kiwi I know you've been on a rough road for a long time and if you think this is the best course of action for you to get the help you need, please go to the hospital. I sincerely wish you all the very best for whatever comes next. Please take care of yourself and I hope you make the progress you're hoping for. Much love to you, and please give us an update when you can <3
 
Depending on where you are, you might be able to have your regular doctor or shrink call and set up an intake appointment directly with the hospital. This is a nice option because you don't have to go through the ER and the process goes faster. If not, just walk into the nearest emergency room and tell them that you are suicidal. Don't try to get into the long version or finer details with them. Just say you're suicidal and leave it at that. The process from there may vary depending on the hospital.

Generally speaking, they will then transport you by ambulance to the psych hospital or take you to the psych wing of the hospital where you will sit down with a bunch of different people and they will take your vitals, get your insurance info, medications, do a brief physical exam, and have you talk to a psychiatrist about whether or not you need to be hospitalized.

If they think you should (they probably will) for a voluntary admission they will ask you to sign a form stating that you give them the right to hold you for three days after you give them notice that you want to leave. After the three days are up, they have to convince a judge you need to stay which they rarely try to do. This means that if you check in, you can't check out before three days are up unless a doctor OKs it. I've definitely seen people go home earlier than 72 hours. If you want to go home early, it helps if family members talk to the doctors and say they will keep an eye on you or if you're going to another residential facility.

At this point they would search your belongings for anything sharp/metal/glass/cords/any toiletry items that contain alcohol like mouthwash/etc. These aren't necessarily gone for good, but they will keep them locked up and you may need to be supervised to use them. Basically, they take anything that someone on the unit could hurt themselves with. They might take away your cell phone or anything that has a camera for privacy reasons, so write down important numbers somewhere. Then they will show you your room (you will probably have a roommate) and get you a towel and bed linens. If you don't have anything with you, they can probably provide you with the basics like toothbrush/toothpaste, pajamas, socks, shampoo, etc. You will probably be more comfortable if you pack a bag in advance. I would go ahead and pack one now with about 3 days worth of clothes, that way if you decide to check in you can grab it and go -- one less thing to worry about. They will probably look in on you every 15 minutes at first to make sure that you're still breathing and not trying to harm yourself.

Those are the basics of checking in. I can elaborate on what to bring, etc. or if there's any specific question you have...

Checking in for the first time is a terrifying idea, but I think you will find that it's not so scary once you get there.
 
Dave said:
I'm afraid that I can't offer any advice or experience in this regard, but I just wanted to wish you the best during this difficult time. Sometimes we need to go through a crisis before we're able to turn things around - that was certainly the case for me - and I truly hope that you are able to make your way through yours fruitfully.
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This. I seriously have had similar circumstances as well, if you ever need to ask any question i'm here as well. As a longtime person of this forum, especially my home (TDS) I'd be more than interested to help you with whatever you need.
 
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