Saying Goodbye

[Crow]

Saying Goodbye 7/16/2002
i found myself frozen
as i scrolled down and highlighted delete
Entry #65 will be deleted, OK?
my memory frantically recalling our last conversation,
trying to find a speck of hope in the transcripts
anything to prevent me from pushing the “ok” button
but for once a self love, one that hasn’t said much in 25 years of living, charges to the podium…
i can’t do it anymore,
i can’t call and have that feeling
the tingling of disgust within myself
i know i’ll hear something that sets me off,
numb, cold, frozen anguish creeping across my body
you talk to your angel,
but when you hang up,
her wings fly to another,
you know this always happens when you call.
she cuts,
you bleed.
she slashes,
you die.
always falling for Hope’s running joke
maybe if you lived long enough and see her again,
maybe fall in love again,
maybe correct a mistake or two,
maybe right one of the millions of wrongs.
Head drops,
Muscles clench
Ears ring as my thumb presses “OK”
Entry #65 deleted.

 

[Furnace]

Woah.

i can’t do it anymore,
i can’t call and have that feeling
the tingling of disgust within myself
i know i’ll hear something that sets me off,
numb, cold, frozen anguish creeping across my body
perfect...Great work, Crow!

 

[Angelight]

woah...this was more than fantastic. I can't even put words to it, truthfully. You are amazing...and thankyou.

 

[harraser]

OMG!!!! Crow I cant explain to you how well you described something Ive been through, its amazing how hard it can be just to delete that one number which you know youll be better off without anyway. I wont take up the space by re-quoting the same bit furnace did but that trully is one of the best things Ive read in a while. thank you

 

[L O V E L I F E]

I particularly liked this line:

"always falling for Hope’s running joke"
Excellent work, my friend.

 

[vurtomatic]

you know this always happens when you call.
she cuts,
you bleed.
she slashes,
you die.
i went through something similar over icq just half an hour ago and i had these lines in something i wrote:

every single time
we touch
u leave
me
dead.

 

[Queen Beat]

Stunning.

 

[E-girl]

maybe if you lived long enough and see her again,
maybe fall in love again,
maybe correct a mistake or two,
maybe right one of the millions of wrongs.there are so many maybes... is it worth it?
i guess deleting this person from your memory was a really hard thing for you... but i'm glad for you that you found the strength. You are an amazing person Crow, it speaks loudly in your words, and you deserve only the best life can give you.
no maybes.

 

[MiNiMoWs]

you talk to your angel,
but when you hang up,
her wings fly to another,
*sits up*
boy, you can write your ass off.
~thank you~
b.

 

[Sweetpea]

[No message]

 

[Goddess]

 

[Dagny]

It's about time you take care of you. You deserve the world, don't settle for less.