iLoveYouWithaKnife
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2002
- Messages
- 8,351
On nights when faders are consumed
and we drink all the alcohol we can handle
we spout off speechs that are barely
memorable in the morning.
Half of the time we cannot even
remember how the hell we got home.
I do, in fact, remember the night
I went off in a tangent about
your best friend-
the kid I can no longer stand.
In such a short time
he showed me how much
of a fucking asshole he is.
Funny part being,
I have known him for
at least 12 years.
People change, I guess.
I remember laying with him
one night in complete serene.
It was the first time in months
I felt good about myself.
He made me feel good.
And that night he opened up to me.
He told me all about the girl
who broke his fucking heart
into a million pieces.
I could hear the sadness
in his tone of voice.
On top of everything else Jen,
I cannot tell you how bad it hurt
when I saw her standing 4 feet
away from me, kissing some dredy
because he could get her rolls
cheaper than I could.
I cannot tell you how that
broke my fucking heart.
And we layed there and
rambled more nonsense
and discussed the shows
that were approaching.
You witnessed the episode
in Tennessee.
And I had a great time,
despite how he acted.
But Saratoga was a different story.
I didn't go to Brooklyn because
I wanted to work those 2 days
to have money and to get my
car fixed.
He called me when he left,
and told me he couldn't
wait to see me in Saratoga.
But the first thing I saw on lot
was him walking away.
When I turned directions
I saw her standing behind me.
Me, being the fucking idiot that I am,
thought he walked away from her.
As everyone entered the gates
as the first notes of Reba started
I wandered aimlessly
until I ran into a friend
and sucked gas for an hour.
I was left sitting on a curb
with a girl walking over to me.
She said,
Hey you- you look sad.
And gave me that butterfly necklace
I didn't take off for the entire summer.
After everyone met up
later that night-
there was that episode
with us and $800.
I told him to go fuck himself.
As the police started to chase
everyone off lot
I stood there with two
balloons in my hand
and watched him walk away.
He was one hundred feet
from me.
And I saw him reach out
for her hand as they
walked into the darkness
together.
And while ten or so of us
piled into a hotel room
thiry miles from the venue-
the two of them
slept together in the room
next door.
He almost made me cry
the night that you and I
went to the bar
and the screaming match
started out of nowhere.
And the other day
when he walked in
and said something to me-
I went blank.
I stood there and stared,
hands shaking.
He mumbled something like,
Is that thee 'I hate you' glare?
And I just turned around
and walked the other way.
I have no idea
what kind of power
he holds when it comes to me,
but next time he dare tell you
that I am a really good girl-
ask him why he left me
standing alone in Saratoga Springs.
and we drink all the alcohol we can handle
we spout off speechs that are barely
memorable in the morning.
Half of the time we cannot even
remember how the hell we got home.
I do, in fact, remember the night
I went off in a tangent about
your best friend-
the kid I can no longer stand.
In such a short time
he showed me how much
of a fucking asshole he is.
Funny part being,
I have known him for
at least 12 years.
People change, I guess.
I remember laying with him
one night in complete serene.
It was the first time in months
I felt good about myself.
He made me feel good.
And that night he opened up to me.
He told me all about the girl
who broke his fucking heart
into a million pieces.
I could hear the sadness
in his tone of voice.
On top of everything else Jen,
I cannot tell you how bad it hurt
when I saw her standing 4 feet
away from me, kissing some dredy
because he could get her rolls
cheaper than I could.
I cannot tell you how that
broke my fucking heart.
And we layed there and
rambled more nonsense
and discussed the shows
that were approaching.
You witnessed the episode
in Tennessee.
And I had a great time,
despite how he acted.
But Saratoga was a different story.
I didn't go to Brooklyn because
I wanted to work those 2 days
to have money and to get my
car fixed.
He called me when he left,
and told me he couldn't
wait to see me in Saratoga.
But the first thing I saw on lot
was him walking away.
When I turned directions
I saw her standing behind me.
Me, being the fucking idiot that I am,
thought he walked away from her.
As everyone entered the gates
as the first notes of Reba started
I wandered aimlessly
until I ran into a friend
and sucked gas for an hour.
I was left sitting on a curb
with a girl walking over to me.
She said,
Hey you- you look sad.
And gave me that butterfly necklace
I didn't take off for the entire summer.
After everyone met up
later that night-
there was that episode
with us and $800.
I told him to go fuck himself.
As the police started to chase
everyone off lot
I stood there with two
balloons in my hand
and watched him walk away.
He was one hundred feet
from me.
And I saw him reach out
for her hand as they
walked into the darkness
together.
And while ten or so of us
piled into a hotel room
thiry miles from the venue-
the two of them
slept together in the room
next door.
He almost made me cry
the night that you and I
went to the bar
and the screaming match
started out of nowhere.
And the other day
when he walked in
and said something to me-
I went blank.
I stood there and stared,
hands shaking.
He mumbled something like,
Is that thee 'I hate you' glare?
And I just turned around
and walked the other way.
I have no idea
what kind of power
he holds when it comes to me,
but next time he dare tell you
that I am a really good girl-
ask him why he left me
standing alone in Saratoga Springs.
