tranceponder
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2012
- Messages
- 8
Substance: Salvia Divinorum extract (15x)
Method of Ingestion: Smoked (bong)
Dose: 2 large hits
This report is based on an experience of mine in late 2006. At that time I had just a few months prior moved into a motel out in the middle of nowhere. There was a city 40 miles away that had a headshop that sold salvia extracts (which I wanted to try since I liked smoking the leaves once in awhile). After driving there and back to the motel, my boyfriend and I lied on the bed propped up with a pillow. My boyfriend loaded a bowl for himself and proceeded to take a hit. He then handed me the bong and exhaled his hit. I started loading a bowl. I made sure to put more than enough. I heard my boyfriend repeating the phrase "It keeps on dripping. It keeps on dripping." I hurried to take a hit. I took a large hit and exhaled and quickly took another large hit before quickly setting the bong down beside the bed on the ground to my left and BAM! Chaos. I was rushing and rushing into complete chaos. But that chaos was all that existed. Chaos was everything. Everything was chaos. I was terrified, whoever or whatever I was. I was in an eternity of chaos. I knew nothing else. Then, I heard a voice calling. Not that I knew what a voice was. But I heard a voice repeating something, whatever repetition was. The chaos continued, and I kept hearing the voice. I was terrified. I knew that voice. I didn't know who though because I had no thoughts to contemplate the matter. That voice. I had the feeling of yearning for that voice. I suddenly felt that I would never hear that voice again. And I would be forever detached from it. The voice stopped. (I found out later that it was my boyfriend calling my name to make sure I was alright) I was scared. I was stuck. Simply stuck. I couldn't go anywhere. There was nowhere to go. Swoosh. I was rushing and rushing. And through a wall I went. I was in my childhood bedroom. There were no thoughts to analyze it. I didn't know in thought that it was my childhood bedroom. I felt the unidentifiable familiarity of it, whatever familiarity was. I was sucked backwards in a flash. Suddenly I realized what "seeing" was and that I had eyes. I saw a swirling place. Then it was a wall. There were walls around me. I was in a room. The walls seemed to melt into my sides. I had a body. I suddenly felt like the walls tugged me and spun me to the right rapidly, and then I was grabbed and spun to the left. I heard a different voice. But this time it was much more familiar and clear. "Don't do this again Jimmy." (my dead grandma's voice) I was spinning and spinning. I had no clue where I was. In a flash, everything came back to me. I knew where I was. I knew who I was. I jumped off the bed in terror and was falling over toward the wall to the left. The wall would appear to jump 3 feet as I would stumble over to it only for it to jump another 3 feet away from me. (I tried my hardest not to knock over the bong. Thankfully I didn't) I was scared shitless and relieved at the same time. I was dripping sweat. I was breathing as though I had just sprinted a 100 yards. I was back.
I wondered why I saw my old childhood bedroom during the trip. I hated that room. I could never sleep in it. I was always terrified of it. I always slept on the ground in my sister's room. I never knew why I was scared to be in it. In 1998, a few years before my grandma died, she moved into that house and into that bedroom. She, claiming to be capable of "seeing spirits", told me that the room had something in it. I have always had the lingering thoughts of: "What if my future self caused my past self to be terrified of that room? What if I jumped through time in some weird way and my future terror during the salvia trip leaked into the past?" Strange thoughts, I know. But, it's something I've wondered about.
Later that night, while I was asleep, I had a dream of sitting on the ground in front of my grandma sitting in a chair. The chair was a chair in my sister's room that my mom would sit on to read us books before bed. My grandma said "Don't worry Jimmy. I'm still alive". And, she smiled. I've never necessarily "believed in ghosts". But that dream kind of makes me wonder. Especially since she was extremely into "spirits" and stuff like that. I would think if this "spirit" thing was true, that she of all people would be able to figure out how to traverse such a reality.
This was the most terrifying experience of my life. In 2011, I finally got over the fear of what happened. I can now look back at it with a lighter heart. For the longest time I was scared that death was that eternal chaos. I've finally realized that that is not true.
I will never repeat the experience
Method of Ingestion: Smoked (bong)
Dose: 2 large hits
This report is based on an experience of mine in late 2006. At that time I had just a few months prior moved into a motel out in the middle of nowhere. There was a city 40 miles away that had a headshop that sold salvia extracts (which I wanted to try since I liked smoking the leaves once in awhile). After driving there and back to the motel, my boyfriend and I lied on the bed propped up with a pillow. My boyfriend loaded a bowl for himself and proceeded to take a hit. He then handed me the bong and exhaled his hit. I started loading a bowl. I made sure to put more than enough. I heard my boyfriend repeating the phrase "It keeps on dripping. It keeps on dripping." I hurried to take a hit. I took a large hit and exhaled and quickly took another large hit before quickly setting the bong down beside the bed on the ground to my left and BAM! Chaos. I was rushing and rushing into complete chaos. But that chaos was all that existed. Chaos was everything. Everything was chaos. I was terrified, whoever or whatever I was. I was in an eternity of chaos. I knew nothing else. Then, I heard a voice calling. Not that I knew what a voice was. But I heard a voice repeating something, whatever repetition was. The chaos continued, and I kept hearing the voice. I was terrified. I knew that voice. I didn't know who though because I had no thoughts to contemplate the matter. That voice. I had the feeling of yearning for that voice. I suddenly felt that I would never hear that voice again. And I would be forever detached from it. The voice stopped. (I found out later that it was my boyfriend calling my name to make sure I was alright) I was scared. I was stuck. Simply stuck. I couldn't go anywhere. There was nowhere to go. Swoosh. I was rushing and rushing. And through a wall I went. I was in my childhood bedroom. There were no thoughts to analyze it. I didn't know in thought that it was my childhood bedroom. I felt the unidentifiable familiarity of it, whatever familiarity was. I was sucked backwards in a flash. Suddenly I realized what "seeing" was and that I had eyes. I saw a swirling place. Then it was a wall. There were walls around me. I was in a room. The walls seemed to melt into my sides. I had a body. I suddenly felt like the walls tugged me and spun me to the right rapidly, and then I was grabbed and spun to the left. I heard a different voice. But this time it was much more familiar and clear. "Don't do this again Jimmy." (my dead grandma's voice) I was spinning and spinning. I had no clue where I was. In a flash, everything came back to me. I knew where I was. I knew who I was. I jumped off the bed in terror and was falling over toward the wall to the left. The wall would appear to jump 3 feet as I would stumble over to it only for it to jump another 3 feet away from me. (I tried my hardest not to knock over the bong. Thankfully I didn't) I was scared shitless and relieved at the same time. I was dripping sweat. I was breathing as though I had just sprinted a 100 yards. I was back.
I wondered why I saw my old childhood bedroom during the trip. I hated that room. I could never sleep in it. I was always terrified of it. I always slept on the ground in my sister's room. I never knew why I was scared to be in it. In 1998, a few years before my grandma died, she moved into that house and into that bedroom. She, claiming to be capable of "seeing spirits", told me that the room had something in it. I have always had the lingering thoughts of: "What if my future self caused my past self to be terrified of that room? What if I jumped through time in some weird way and my future terror during the salvia trip leaked into the past?" Strange thoughts, I know. But, it's something I've wondered about.
Later that night, while I was asleep, I had a dream of sitting on the ground in front of my grandma sitting in a chair. The chair was a chair in my sister's room that my mom would sit on to read us books before bed. My grandma said "Don't worry Jimmy. I'm still alive". And, she smiled. I've never necessarily "believed in ghosts". But that dream kind of makes me wonder. Especially since she was extremely into "spirits" and stuff like that. I would think if this "spirit" thing was true, that she of all people would be able to figure out how to traverse such a reality.
This was the most terrifying experience of my life. In 2011, I finally got over the fear of what happened. I can now look back at it with a lighter heart. For the longest time I was scared that death was that eternal chaos. I've finally realized that that is not true.
I will never repeat the experience
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