I have used Salvia quite a bit of times, but I have never had such a deep spiritual experience as this one. Sorry if too long, there are truely not enough words in the english vocabulary to describe my experience. Here it goes...
As I inhaled my very first hit, it felt as if I was inhaling the very essence of life itself. Life seemed no longer to be a thing, but a person, some sort of individual. This individual was very veiled, and seemed to hide behind pure memory. Just seeing its presence filled me with anxiety, and curiosity. Suddenly I heard a very vague, but present voice beckoning me to come further, but I was very hesitant. I felt worthless compared to this being, as if my eyes were not radiant enough to see it.
As I approached this individual, who seemed to be hidden in my forgotten memories, I began to feel weightless, as if I was slowly shedding away every incidence of stress, fear, and hesitation. I began feel nothing but sincerity, and pureness. I soon realized that I was no longer a human being, but pure energy. I convinced myself that I was dead, and my soul was ascending up to heaven. I felt an eerie pull that seemed extravagantly welcoming. As I slowly ascended, I began to gaze around at these seemingly impossible things. I was greeted by the wind, which seems to be a very calm, but rather unpredictable character. I was intrigued by how it looked, I felt as if something this beautiful was never meant for the inconsiderate, ignorant human eye.
The wind was composed of these rays of color, which seemed so clever, that they could only exist in some strange, distant imagination. Suddenly I became so overwhelmed with joy and confidence, that it was almost sickening. As I began to feel closer and closer to my destination, a strange turbulence begins to slowly increase. I can feel an odd, uncanny presence lurking in this, now noticeable, abyss below. This unnatural being seems to contradict my every feeling, and appears to be stalking me. Suddenly, and quite unexpected, I am violently sucked in to this vacuum of light, that seems oddly familiar.
Traveling at unimaginable speeds, I seem as if now I have become the light. As I continually increase in speed; it seems as if I am passing every memory that was supposed to be locked up in my mind, until now. Again I felt that strong welcoming pull towards the veiled, unexplainable being, which was becoming more and more in view. Suddenly, I began to notice billions of “star-like” particles that seemed to surround the being. With out any feelings of caution, I began to collide with them. In every collision, I felt refreshingly enhanced with knowledge that, prior to now, seemed un-obtainable by the human mind. I begin to realize that Earth is nothing but a ball of mass that spins on an axel of obligation and trickery.
I become amazed at the realization that everyday on Earth is worthless, that everyday, all of the work and the tasks that we feel obligated to achieve are ultimately worthless and meaningless. I realize that this is a problem with no solution, and it is a re-occurring cycle that every human will eventually be driven insane by. I began to ask myself “is life on earth some sick set up?” A very broad, yet meaningful question started to echo around me, this question was “why?” I became obsessed with the answer, and started frantically searching for the star which held the correct answer. I no longer was intrigued by the being that had brought me this far, in fact I had lost all interest and forgot about it.
I was now obsessed with answer, that un-knowingly, could not be answered. I became pure irony; I was the very thing which mocks human life. I was doing the very pointless, unachievable thing that curses life on Earth. I was becoming increasingly frustrated in trying to solve a problem that had no solution, searching for an answer that didn’t exist. Suddenly, I began to feel guilty, I realized that I was being selfish, that I was wanted by this being, yet I ignored it in order to try to enrich my mind. At that moment of that realization, I began to feel human again. I looked around, I was in pure darkness. I was able to feel that I had hands, and that was now lying down. Then, I felt a very tattered hand that seemed tired and worn from eons of work touch my face.
Surprisingly, I was not scared; I felt strange feeling of relief. I wanted to tell this being how relieved I was, and how happy I felt to be there. I wanted to say that I was thankful for being chosen, but only word dripped, like poison, from my mouth. That word was “why”. I felt this being’s compassion and kindness emit from his hand in to my mind. I was dazzled by this; I wondered how a creature could be as flawless as this one seemed to be. It responded, not with an answer, but with a question. It spoke with a voice that could calm a raging storm, “Why waste a precious gift?” It made perfect sense to me at the time, and I was stunned to find that the most captivating question in existence could not be answered with an answer, but be answered with another question.
Before I could say anything else, I became filled with a feeling so horrid, that it hurts to describe it. I became engulfed in a feeling so dark that I became extremely Closter phobic. Feeling backed in to a corner, I suddenly felt the presence that I had felt earlier, the presence that contradicted every feeling that I had felt earlier. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and had no Idea what to expect next. Extremely frightened, I began to think about all of the amazing things that I had witnessed to try and calm myself. I didn’t expect what happened next. I became enraged with fear and helplessness as I felt my eyes liquefy and drip out of my sockets.
I felt an extreme need for air, yet I could not breathe. I wished for water to quench my thirst, and I was teased with rain, but mouth to drink it with. I was in complete and utter hell, and I had no idea what I did to deserve it. As the terror reached its climax, I begin to hear a distant voice. I could barely interpret it, though I feel that it has great importance. A strong impulse tells me that this being holds all of my minds answers, and I feel an urge of excitement and hope. Then, quite unexpectantly, I am shaken back in to reality, left with this wild trip, and no true way to decipher it.
As I inhaled my very first hit, it felt as if I was inhaling the very essence of life itself. Life seemed no longer to be a thing, but a person, some sort of individual. This individual was very veiled, and seemed to hide behind pure memory. Just seeing its presence filled me with anxiety, and curiosity. Suddenly I heard a very vague, but present voice beckoning me to come further, but I was very hesitant. I felt worthless compared to this being, as if my eyes were not radiant enough to see it.
As I approached this individual, who seemed to be hidden in my forgotten memories, I began to feel weightless, as if I was slowly shedding away every incidence of stress, fear, and hesitation. I began feel nothing but sincerity, and pureness. I soon realized that I was no longer a human being, but pure energy. I convinced myself that I was dead, and my soul was ascending up to heaven. I felt an eerie pull that seemed extravagantly welcoming. As I slowly ascended, I began to gaze around at these seemingly impossible things. I was greeted by the wind, which seems to be a very calm, but rather unpredictable character. I was intrigued by how it looked, I felt as if something this beautiful was never meant for the inconsiderate, ignorant human eye.
The wind was composed of these rays of color, which seemed so clever, that they could only exist in some strange, distant imagination. Suddenly I became so overwhelmed with joy and confidence, that it was almost sickening. As I began to feel closer and closer to my destination, a strange turbulence begins to slowly increase. I can feel an odd, uncanny presence lurking in this, now noticeable, abyss below. This unnatural being seems to contradict my every feeling, and appears to be stalking me. Suddenly, and quite unexpected, I am violently sucked in to this vacuum of light, that seems oddly familiar.
Traveling at unimaginable speeds, I seem as if now I have become the light. As I continually increase in speed; it seems as if I am passing every memory that was supposed to be locked up in my mind, until now. Again I felt that strong welcoming pull towards the veiled, unexplainable being, which was becoming more and more in view. Suddenly, I began to notice billions of “star-like” particles that seemed to surround the being. With out any feelings of caution, I began to collide with them. In every collision, I felt refreshingly enhanced with knowledge that, prior to now, seemed un-obtainable by the human mind. I begin to realize that Earth is nothing but a ball of mass that spins on an axel of obligation and trickery.
I become amazed at the realization that everyday on Earth is worthless, that everyday, all of the work and the tasks that we feel obligated to achieve are ultimately worthless and meaningless. I realize that this is a problem with no solution, and it is a re-occurring cycle that every human will eventually be driven insane by. I began to ask myself “is life on earth some sick set up?” A very broad, yet meaningful question started to echo around me, this question was “why?” I became obsessed with the answer, and started frantically searching for the star which held the correct answer. I no longer was intrigued by the being that had brought me this far, in fact I had lost all interest and forgot about it.
I was now obsessed with answer, that un-knowingly, could not be answered. I became pure irony; I was the very thing which mocks human life. I was doing the very pointless, unachievable thing that curses life on Earth. I was becoming increasingly frustrated in trying to solve a problem that had no solution, searching for an answer that didn’t exist. Suddenly, I began to feel guilty, I realized that I was being selfish, that I was wanted by this being, yet I ignored it in order to try to enrich my mind. At that moment of that realization, I began to feel human again. I looked around, I was in pure darkness. I was able to feel that I had hands, and that was now lying down. Then, I felt a very tattered hand that seemed tired and worn from eons of work touch my face.
Surprisingly, I was not scared; I felt strange feeling of relief. I wanted to tell this being how relieved I was, and how happy I felt to be there. I wanted to say that I was thankful for being chosen, but only word dripped, like poison, from my mouth. That word was “why”. I felt this being’s compassion and kindness emit from his hand in to my mind. I was dazzled by this; I wondered how a creature could be as flawless as this one seemed to be. It responded, not with an answer, but with a question. It spoke with a voice that could calm a raging storm, “Why waste a precious gift?” It made perfect sense to me at the time, and I was stunned to find that the most captivating question in existence could not be answered with an answer, but be answered with another question.
Before I could say anything else, I became filled with a feeling so horrid, that it hurts to describe it. I became engulfed in a feeling so dark that I became extremely Closter phobic. Feeling backed in to a corner, I suddenly felt the presence that I had felt earlier, the presence that contradicted every feeling that I had felt earlier. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and had no Idea what to expect next. Extremely frightened, I began to think about all of the amazing things that I had witnessed to try and calm myself. I didn’t expect what happened next. I became enraged with fear and helplessness as I felt my eyes liquefy and drip out of my sockets.
I felt an extreme need for air, yet I could not breathe. I wished for water to quench my thirst, and I was teased with rain, but mouth to drink it with. I was in complete and utter hell, and I had no idea what I did to deserve it. As the terror reached its climax, I begin to hear a distant voice. I could barely interpret it, though I feel that it has great importance. A strong impulse tells me that this being holds all of my minds answers, and I feel an urge of excitement and hope. Then, quite unexpectantly, I am shaken back in to reality, left with this wild trip, and no true way to decipher it.
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