Last night I took 20mg of ambien, which does nothing besides relax me some due to tolerance. I had planned on taking some then doing salvia, because I am very hesitant to do salvia sober. I have done it less than 10 times over the past few years but never really had a breakthrough, just strangeness and sometimes a little bit of fear.
I am not sure exactly what happened and am still a little, disturbed by it. What I do know is, I took 2 large hits out of my glass pipe and kind of got pulled to the side. I laid on the couch as something intense was ripping me out of reality like Velcro coming undone. I could even hear a Velcro-like noise.
Then I was in a dreamlike state, or nightmare state to be more accurate. Like a dream because events happened randomly without the linear time dimension and it was very visual. I have a foggy gapped memory of what went on but will do my best.
I saw my whole room change into something else. I don’t know if I closed my eyes or not but my vision became of a huge green carpet, taking up all dimensions of a room and more. There were hand-like creatures that were ripping through from the back of the carpet, from another reality, making Velcro ripping sounds. They were invading and coming through by the dozens. They were composed of skin like tubes and thumb looking objects, like really long fingers on a hand that was behind the carpet. I had a dreaded sense that this was really happening and wasn’t unusual, I had lived in green carpet land all my life. I didn’t know what I was anymore. I have the feeling voices were talking to me or getting a message to me by some non-language means.
Then I became very paranoid. Perhaps my mind was fighting back. I saw a very distorted view of my room, which was probably imagined with my eyes closed or intensely hallucinated either way. Three dark men were coming through the door and were going to bust me or attack me. Even though I saw their shadows it didn’t fully register that it was happening at that exact time, it was just something that was going to happen very soon. I’m pretty sure I ran to my kitchen to hide then decided that was useless so I went back and laid on my bed. Then my phone vibrated and I thought that it was related to the shadow men about to come for real. But it wasn’t and recognizing the number as a friend made me feel relieved although I didn’t answer it. I was just finding myself after probably 5 or 10 minutes of fear and intense loss of reality.
I got on the computer and had a hard time typing. I felt the salvia still kicking strong but fading. I ended up going to bed soon after and having very odd dreams about being at a prison that was to be bombed and that I was going to try and outrun the fireball but then ducked down and accepted death as the bomb ripped me apart.
I definitely want to experiment again; my memory is possibly compromised some by the ambien. I will probably get a sitter though since the fear mixed with reality loss was a lot to handle without moving around.
I am not sure exactly what happened and am still a little, disturbed by it. What I do know is, I took 2 large hits out of my glass pipe and kind of got pulled to the side. I laid on the couch as something intense was ripping me out of reality like Velcro coming undone. I could even hear a Velcro-like noise.
Then I was in a dreamlike state, or nightmare state to be more accurate. Like a dream because events happened randomly without the linear time dimension and it was very visual. I have a foggy gapped memory of what went on but will do my best.
I saw my whole room change into something else. I don’t know if I closed my eyes or not but my vision became of a huge green carpet, taking up all dimensions of a room and more. There were hand-like creatures that were ripping through from the back of the carpet, from another reality, making Velcro ripping sounds. They were invading and coming through by the dozens. They were composed of skin like tubes and thumb looking objects, like really long fingers on a hand that was behind the carpet. I had a dreaded sense that this was really happening and wasn’t unusual, I had lived in green carpet land all my life. I didn’t know what I was anymore. I have the feeling voices were talking to me or getting a message to me by some non-language means.
Then I became very paranoid. Perhaps my mind was fighting back. I saw a very distorted view of my room, which was probably imagined with my eyes closed or intensely hallucinated either way. Three dark men were coming through the door and were going to bust me or attack me. Even though I saw their shadows it didn’t fully register that it was happening at that exact time, it was just something that was going to happen very soon. I’m pretty sure I ran to my kitchen to hide then decided that was useless so I went back and laid on my bed. Then my phone vibrated and I thought that it was related to the shadow men about to come for real. But it wasn’t and recognizing the number as a friend made me feel relieved although I didn’t answer it. I was just finding myself after probably 5 or 10 minutes of fear and intense loss of reality.
I got on the computer and had a hard time typing. I felt the salvia still kicking strong but fading. I ended up going to bed soon after and having very odd dreams about being at a prison that was to be bombed and that I was going to try and outrun the fireball but then ducked down and accepted death as the bomb ripped me apart.
I definitely want to experiment again; my memory is possibly compromised some by the ambien. I will probably get a sitter though since the fear mixed with reality loss was a lot to handle without moving around.
