Cthulhu
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2007
- Messages
- 234
I’m going to begin this trip report before I fully come down from the 20x salvia I smoked about an hour ago, hopefully this lingering feeling will allow me to better convey (and remember) exactly what happened. I still feel fucked up and far from sobriety, although the very concept of sobriety has started to return. Thankfully I sent a few instant messages to my friend so I know approximately when and for how long each section of the experience took place. Let me preface this by saying that I intended the experience as an experiment to get to know salvia a little better. I hoped (perhaps subconsciously, at this moment it’s hard to tell) to come away with a mind-blowing trip, both to bank as an experience and to tell others about. In light of this and the ensuing trip, I feel very humbled.
T=0: I lie down in bed with the lights off and ignite a lighter over the bowl of my bubbler. I put just a pinch of 20x salvia in there (yes, I need to get a scale if I’m going to continue these experiments). I take a deep toke, put the pipe down beside me and hold the smoke for about 20 seconds, then exhale, close my eyes, and lie down completely. As always, the typical salvia effects come strong and swift, and I begin to dissociate from my body – but this time, not much else happens. For the next few minutes I lie there and think, disappointed, of how this is a sub-breakthrough dose. I hear voices off to the left, or perhaps these voices are my own thoughts, it’s hard to tell. In any case, I decide to get up and take another hit. For me, it’s all or nothing.
T=10 minutes: Well I’ve taken my second hit and still haven’t broken through, and for some reason I’ve decided to get up and IM my friend. The gist of what I say (in broken English) is that I’m disappointed that I haven’t broken through - I’m merely fucked up and that isn’t good enough. I tell him that I’m going to take yet another hit. Stumbling back over to my bed, not very conscious of my body, I try to stuff some more salvia into my bowl. My fingers aren’t working very well - I’m not conscious of them as belonging to me - but eventually I get a large pinch out and stuff it into the bubbler. Keep in mind that I have already taken two hits of salvia, and am very altered as it is. Furthermore, salvia does not seem to create tolerance in a short time frame the way dmt does. Perhaps I should have called it a night. Instead, I take a third hit and lie down again, holding the smoke in for at least half a minute (I desperately want to break through). I am so dissociated now that I feel I can hold my breath forever. Then all fucked-upness breaks loose.
For the next 10 minutes: My consciousness is no longer in my body. It is possibly outside my body, but I can’t be sure. I seem to have only a few cognitive features/senses left: a sense of movement, a sense of location, a sense of sight, a sense of understanding, and emotion. The reason I’m breaking my consciousness down into these categories is to better convey a very confusing experience. I have a sense of movement because salvia gravity is pulling me somewhere, and is doing so rhythmically; I have a sense of sight because I can see where I am and where I’m going (but I can’t see where I should be) – my sense of location ties into this as well; I have a sense of understanding because “things” are communicating to me – it is hard to even say this because in a way, I am everything that I perceive (the subject-object barrier is seriously twisted); and I have emotion, because I am scared.
Let me try to explain why, at this point in the trip, I am scared. Essentially it is that the salvia gravity is pulling my consciousness way off base, and not in some cool tripped-out “wow man I just visited another planet” kind of way; it’s more like “what the fuck this is so wrong why can’t I get back to where I should be what the hell is pulling me!!!” I feel like my consciousness is headed for “somewhere else,” where it could be deposited, or perhaps it is just hanging in limbo, rhythmically pulsating to the salvia gravity (which, now that I think about it, possibly is moving to the rhythm of my heartbeat. In any case, I am not happy, some part of me still knows that I am on salvia, and that it’ll all be over soon, but another part is caught in a struggle to get back to whatever I know I should be getting back to. I have read reports describing Salvia World as two-dimensional – I agree with this description, but it is tempered by the fact that it still does not convey in any way what two-dimensionality is like. It is not flat, it is the absence of a dimension. Then I see my computer, except that it is in another reality/dimension and it is talking to me, saying that I am stuck here and cannot get back – it doesn’t say this in words, but I understand its message (but later realize that it was just plain old music coming from my speakers, not my computer talking to me).
Somehow I get my eyes open (not sure how much time has passed) and try to crawl down my bed to my computer. I don’t make it very far. Halfway there I get tangled up in my sheets, my head buried in my mattress, still trying to orient myself. After an uncertain amount of time, I remember where I am and get up. I am so high right now, both figuratively and literally – my consciousness is high, almost none of it is left in my body, all of it in my head/mind. This is strange, scarily so. At one point I freak out to the thought that I haven’t been breathing for the past fifteen minutes, because I am not aware whatsoever of my breathing, I have to force a deep breath to get the slightest sensation. What if after my last toke I just never took another breath? How much brain damage have I done? Cause my brain feels pretty fucked up! (later I reassure myself that it was pure paranoia to think I could go so long without breathing).
I try to commute to my friend via IMs what I just went through, but he doesn’t seem to understand, and my hands are hitting three keys at a time resulting in an extremely mangled English. Then I take out my trumpet, change the music to some blues, and begin to jam. Man, considering my fucked-upness I am playing really well! Better than normal! I feel the notes as if they are part of me, and understand the essence of each individual note. And I can hold notes forever, no limit to my lung capacity. This is certainly the most – check that – only enjoyable part of the trip. Some time later I feel more grounded and decide to go to sleep – I’m always grateful that the mornings after salvia trips, I feel completely normal, and cannot but vaguely remember what happened during breakthroughs.
A tentative theory on the nature of salvia’s effects: consciousness seems to be reduced. Bodily awareness, external awareness, three-dimensionality, and cognition in general all seem to be reduced, resulting in a propulsion to either a different dimension or nothingness (the perfection of reduction).
This is very strange and confusing substance, but if I had to give one piece of advice, it would be: do not drive or operate machinery when taking this product.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_salvia
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_neutral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
T=0: I lie down in bed with the lights off and ignite a lighter over the bowl of my bubbler. I put just a pinch of 20x salvia in there (yes, I need to get a scale if I’m going to continue these experiments). I take a deep toke, put the pipe down beside me and hold the smoke for about 20 seconds, then exhale, close my eyes, and lie down completely. As always, the typical salvia effects come strong and swift, and I begin to dissociate from my body – but this time, not much else happens. For the next few minutes I lie there and think, disappointed, of how this is a sub-breakthrough dose. I hear voices off to the left, or perhaps these voices are my own thoughts, it’s hard to tell. In any case, I decide to get up and take another hit. For me, it’s all or nothing.
T=10 minutes: Well I’ve taken my second hit and still haven’t broken through, and for some reason I’ve decided to get up and IM my friend. The gist of what I say (in broken English) is that I’m disappointed that I haven’t broken through - I’m merely fucked up and that isn’t good enough. I tell him that I’m going to take yet another hit. Stumbling back over to my bed, not very conscious of my body, I try to stuff some more salvia into my bowl. My fingers aren’t working very well - I’m not conscious of them as belonging to me - but eventually I get a large pinch out and stuff it into the bubbler. Keep in mind that I have already taken two hits of salvia, and am very altered as it is. Furthermore, salvia does not seem to create tolerance in a short time frame the way dmt does. Perhaps I should have called it a night. Instead, I take a third hit and lie down again, holding the smoke in for at least half a minute (I desperately want to break through). I am so dissociated now that I feel I can hold my breath forever. Then all fucked-upness breaks loose.
For the next 10 minutes: My consciousness is no longer in my body. It is possibly outside my body, but I can’t be sure. I seem to have only a few cognitive features/senses left: a sense of movement, a sense of location, a sense of sight, a sense of understanding, and emotion. The reason I’m breaking my consciousness down into these categories is to better convey a very confusing experience. I have a sense of movement because salvia gravity is pulling me somewhere, and is doing so rhythmically; I have a sense of sight because I can see where I am and where I’m going (but I can’t see where I should be) – my sense of location ties into this as well; I have a sense of understanding because “things” are communicating to me – it is hard to even say this because in a way, I am everything that I perceive (the subject-object barrier is seriously twisted); and I have emotion, because I am scared.
Let me try to explain why, at this point in the trip, I am scared. Essentially it is that the salvia gravity is pulling my consciousness way off base, and not in some cool tripped-out “wow man I just visited another planet” kind of way; it’s more like “what the fuck this is so wrong why can’t I get back to where I should be what the hell is pulling me!!!” I feel like my consciousness is headed for “somewhere else,” where it could be deposited, or perhaps it is just hanging in limbo, rhythmically pulsating to the salvia gravity (which, now that I think about it, possibly is moving to the rhythm of my heartbeat. In any case, I am not happy, some part of me still knows that I am on salvia, and that it’ll all be over soon, but another part is caught in a struggle to get back to whatever I know I should be getting back to. I have read reports describing Salvia World as two-dimensional – I agree with this description, but it is tempered by the fact that it still does not convey in any way what two-dimensionality is like. It is not flat, it is the absence of a dimension. Then I see my computer, except that it is in another reality/dimension and it is talking to me, saying that I am stuck here and cannot get back – it doesn’t say this in words, but I understand its message (but later realize that it was just plain old music coming from my speakers, not my computer talking to me).
Somehow I get my eyes open (not sure how much time has passed) and try to crawl down my bed to my computer. I don’t make it very far. Halfway there I get tangled up in my sheets, my head buried in my mattress, still trying to orient myself. After an uncertain amount of time, I remember where I am and get up. I am so high right now, both figuratively and literally – my consciousness is high, almost none of it is left in my body, all of it in my head/mind. This is strange, scarily so. At one point I freak out to the thought that I haven’t been breathing for the past fifteen minutes, because I am not aware whatsoever of my breathing, I have to force a deep breath to get the slightest sensation. What if after my last toke I just never took another breath? How much brain damage have I done? Cause my brain feels pretty fucked up! (later I reassure myself that it was pure paranoia to think I could go so long without breathing).
I try to commute to my friend via IMs what I just went through, but he doesn’t seem to understand, and my hands are hitting three keys at a time resulting in an extremely mangled English. Then I take out my trumpet, change the music to some blues, and begin to jam. Man, considering my fucked-upness I am playing really well! Better than normal! I feel the notes as if they are part of me, and understand the essence of each individual note. And I can hold notes forever, no limit to my lung capacity. This is certainly the most – check that – only enjoyable part of the trip. Some time later I feel more grounded and decide to go to sleep – I’m always grateful that the mornings after salvia trips, I feel completely normal, and cannot but vaguely remember what happened during breakthroughs.
A tentative theory on the nature of salvia’s effects: consciousness seems to be reduced. Bodily awareness, external awareness, three-dimensionality, and cognition in general all seem to be reduced, resulting in a propulsion to either a different dimension or nothingness (the perfection of reduction).
This is very strange and confusing substance, but if I had to give one piece of advice, it would be: do not drive or operate machinery when taking this product.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_salvia
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_neutral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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