medical_meccanica
Bluelighter
Salvia Divinorum (20x extract) ~ First Time ~ Meeting Salvia
23:20 ~ I am in my small student apartment. The room is lit dimly by the light of two small candles and a computer, which is softly playing ambient music. I am sitting up in my bed with my back resting against two large pillows and my legs spread out in front of me. My older brother, who has experienced Salvia before, is sitting on a chair to the left of the bed, ready to take the bong out of my hands and watch over me while I try to experience the Diviner’s Sage for the first time. I am already slightly stoned and very nervous, a generous portion of 20x extract is covering a small layer of weed and herbal mix at the bottom of the cone. I use a lighter to burn the mix until the pipe is full of thick grey smoke, when it is slightly more than I think I can hold I deeply inhale and do my best to close my lungs. Things get weird very fast.
A complex ripple seems to rip through the fabric of the room and I am immediately hit by a wave of disorientation. I am not sure whether or not I am still inhaling or holding the smoke in my lungs, I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing. A metallic yet organic, fractal disintegration of my perceptual field reminds me of a feeling associated with intense LSD/N2O trips. The view in front of me (my body stretched forwards on the bed, my brother to my left, my DVD shelves on the wall) is tunnelled while at the same time unchanged. There is a profound sense of paradox, of being here and there at the same time.
The back of my head is resting on the wooden frame of the bed, and I notice suddenly that it feels as though the wood is now embedded in my body. I have sunk into the furniture, at least that is what is happening in the room where my brother is sitting. In the same moment, however, I realise that my perception of this world (the view in front of me, the soft music, the sensations in my body) is being used by the Salvia to create a representation of it’s own dimension. This dimension is always existing somewhere in relation to our own, I cannot fathom ‘where.’ I attribute a massive amount of my disorientation to trying to ‘see’ both of these places at the same time. I try to close my eyes but they snap open of their own accord. It is all I can do to sit back and watch as my perception of reality is distorted to meet the needs of the Salvia realm.
I have no control over my body, it is paralysed on the bed, all the atoms in the room are shifting and coiling, making the room and everything inside it pulse and move about in unpredictable and very strange ways. My body and my brother’s body are involved in this distortion, I am suddenly extremely fearful. These changes feel permanent and overwhelming. Again the same sense of paradox prevails, I am aware that I have taken Salvia and that it was the trigger for this unmitigated weirdness, however I also firmly believe that what is happening is real, and that I have contributed to the literal transformation of this dimension into something chaotic and out of my control. What is especially confusing is that my brother is involved; he is also being transformed to accommodate the goings on in the overlapping Salvia realm. How can this be, he hasn’t taken the psychedelic! Something in my mind looks to his eyes for comfort and I ask if I am ok. I want to know that we are both safe; that somewhere things were the way I’d left them. He reaches out to touch my leg and reassure me. The movement fits in perfectly with the movements of the Salvia world and does little to anchor me, but the consciousness behind his eyes is like a lighthouse that hints at solid land after this insane journey, his presence does wonders to settle me.
It is as though an ENORMOUS (I cannot begin to describe the infinite immensity) being is moving through the space that my room also occupies. My perception of physical matter distorts itself in order that I might see this creature’s existence. It is like organic machinery, made out of an infinite amount of pieces, it is solid and structured, but flexible at the same time. It reminds me of the scales of a snake shifting; pressing against themselves. There is pause and stillness, but also constant shifting, repositioning, movement. And it is aware, not just aware of my presence but of everything. It is working, it is in the middle of something extremely important and my being there is so insignificant that it is appropriate to simply let my body and perceptions become part of the Salvia environment so that I can watch and see what is going on. Like a startled toddler trying to play basketball in the NBL, I press myself against the sidelines and stare in wonder at the moving scenery in front of me. It feels like this area is part of a giant foot, it takes humongous steps and gravity pulls at my physical body in different directions as it lies on the bed. I can’t get my mind around the sheer scale of this place; the atoms in my immediate perception in our reality lend themselves to part of a TINY cellular structure inside this gigantic Salvia being. Soon being on the sidelines is not enough, and I am called to participate.
My relationship with the Salvia spirit during this experience can most easily be described when compared to the presence of DMT beings I have previously encountered. Whereas they had been terrifically excited to see me and gently show me around the aspects of their dimension, Salvia Divinorum seemed far too busy. It is involved in so many important processes, it is not willing to do the work for me, and yet it does want me to come further. Suddenly the feeling of the bed frame in my head becomes unpleasant and I move my body further down the bed, somehow managing to throw the pillows onto the floor. The Salvia spirit is showing me how to immerse myself more. I lie flat and cooperate with an immediate suggestion to make my body symmetrical. It sinks into the bed, I close my eyes.
I am travelling down a long twisting tunnel; the sides look like shiny tree bark. There are billions of tiny green vines and leaves growing out of the bark and waving about like underwater seaweed. The winding turns of the tunnel bring me closer to the surface and I realise that these plants are actually tiny green men growing out of the bark inside this long tube. They are screaming happily and excitedly at me (again, very reminiscent of the ‘cheering’ I heard during an LSD/N2O journey) and waving their arms about with huge grins on their face. I hear a whispered female voice like rushing wind to my left; I open my eyes and look at the bright computer screen. “Turn the music down,” I say to my brother, and he immediately does. I close my eyes again, travelling down the tunnel. The whispering comes again, I try to make out the words but I cannot. They are in another language and I can’t understand them. I close my eyes tighter, willing the vision to become clearer, but it does not. The whispering again, I feel I should answer, to go further I must answer. I must acknowledge the presence of this divine being or it will not put any more effort into helping me participate. I do not say anything. Embarrassment stays my tongue; I would feel silly if I spoke to this being in front of my brother. I feel awkward. I should say something, why won’t I say anything? The whispering again, I open my eyes and look to where it is coming from. My eyes are drawn to the bong resting on the desk in front of the computer, Salvia still in the cone; it wants me to smoke more.
23:30 ~ “Pass me the bong please,” I say to my brother. He looks uncertain for a moment and then picks it up and hands it over gently. I sit up cross-legged and hold the pipe in my lap. My eyes drift over the clock in the corner of the room, the sense of time hits me suddenly. 10 minutes. Is it over? I am unsure if I want to go back again. I tell my brother that it wants me to smoke more, that I can go further if I do. I begin to explain it to him and realise I do not want to stop talking about the experience. I excitedly tell him my perceptions and what I think they were. I explain about the enormous Salvia spirit and how it’s movement through this space causes distortions of reality. I explain its presence, how awestruck I am about everything I have just witnessed. How strange it is to have the atoms in my body become part of a completely different landscape.
23:35 ~ “It wants me to go further, to smoke more.” I look at the clock again and realise that I can go back whenever I am ready and that I have more than enough food for thought for the time being. I tell my brother this and he takes the pipe from me and puts it back on the desk. He patiently listens as I describe my experience in detail the best I can. It is extremely similar to his experience of Salvia. In fact, there are many overlapping concepts in our experiences as well as the stories I have read online and in the accounts of Martin Ball in his book ‘Sage Spirit.’ I wonder about the difference between trip contents being formed by suggested expectations and the possibilities of real, objective spiritual phenomenon experienced during the Salvia state of mind. I talk to my brother about all of this. I am so sure of the awareness of the Salvia organism being separate to my own, it is a humbling, exciting and uplifting realisation. I tell him about my embarrassment over engaging vocally with the Salvia entity and that I believe it was a way of holding myself back out of fear.
00:10 ~ I ask my brother if he would like a journey tonight and he declines, so I thank the Salvia for what it has shown me and empty the ash into the garden outside. I look at the remaining leaves in my hand and say “thank you” again, packing them away gently into a drawer. My brother and me continue talking about the experience. I feel myself again, back in my body completely. I feel spiritually satisfied for what I realise is the first time in a long time. I feel full of life and energy. I feel that I have learned much about the infinite possibilities of reality and perception, and learned a lot about how I would like to approach this remarkable plant in the future. I am very happy and positive about my first time meeting Salvia.
Sitter Observations
MM was sitting up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he lit and inhaled the salvia. He held it in for a decent amount of time then sat there holding the bong. He kept looking at the bong in his hand afterwards and it seemed to me he was deciding on whether or not he should have a second hit, but as his arms seemed to droop downwards I took the bong off him and placed it on the desk. For the next 4-5 minutes he sat in the same position. His body seemed to become quite stiff; in particular his arms were flexed but not moving. His eyes constantly scanned the room, not darting around but constantly moving. A few times his eyes met mine and he seemed a little panicked. I told him he should close his eyes and while not verbally responding, he did seem to register my words, as he did try to close his eyes, but they couldn't stay shut for more than a couple of seconds before they opened again and continued to scan the room.
After this 4-5 minute period he started to move, at first turning his head around as if to better survey the room, but then he slowly started to edge further down the bed until he was lying on his back, completely still. At this point he said, ‘Am I ok?’ to which I replied ‘of course’. He then closed his eyes and I took the opportunity to restart the track of music he was playing. He then stayed like that, on his back, eyes closed and motionless for the remainder of the track, another 5 minutes. The only exception to this was after about 3 minutes he asked me to turn the volume down.
After a full 10 minutes from when he inhaled the salvia he sat up and seemed more himself. The first thing he said was: ‘can you please pass the bong?’ When I asked him why he said it was so he could have another hit. I asked him how his first hit had felt and this seemed to wake him up to the realisation that he had just been through an incredible experience, which he then proceeded to tell me about in great detail. By the time he finished explaining he had come to the conclusion that he couldn't handle another hit quite yet.
23:20 ~ I am in my small student apartment. The room is lit dimly by the light of two small candles and a computer, which is softly playing ambient music. I am sitting up in my bed with my back resting against two large pillows and my legs spread out in front of me. My older brother, who has experienced Salvia before, is sitting on a chair to the left of the bed, ready to take the bong out of my hands and watch over me while I try to experience the Diviner’s Sage for the first time. I am already slightly stoned and very nervous, a generous portion of 20x extract is covering a small layer of weed and herbal mix at the bottom of the cone. I use a lighter to burn the mix until the pipe is full of thick grey smoke, when it is slightly more than I think I can hold I deeply inhale and do my best to close my lungs. Things get weird very fast.
A complex ripple seems to rip through the fabric of the room and I am immediately hit by a wave of disorientation. I am not sure whether or not I am still inhaling or holding the smoke in my lungs, I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing. A metallic yet organic, fractal disintegration of my perceptual field reminds me of a feeling associated with intense LSD/N2O trips. The view in front of me (my body stretched forwards on the bed, my brother to my left, my DVD shelves on the wall) is tunnelled while at the same time unchanged. There is a profound sense of paradox, of being here and there at the same time.
The back of my head is resting on the wooden frame of the bed, and I notice suddenly that it feels as though the wood is now embedded in my body. I have sunk into the furniture, at least that is what is happening in the room where my brother is sitting. In the same moment, however, I realise that my perception of this world (the view in front of me, the soft music, the sensations in my body) is being used by the Salvia to create a representation of it’s own dimension. This dimension is always existing somewhere in relation to our own, I cannot fathom ‘where.’ I attribute a massive amount of my disorientation to trying to ‘see’ both of these places at the same time. I try to close my eyes but they snap open of their own accord. It is all I can do to sit back and watch as my perception of reality is distorted to meet the needs of the Salvia realm.
I have no control over my body, it is paralysed on the bed, all the atoms in the room are shifting and coiling, making the room and everything inside it pulse and move about in unpredictable and very strange ways. My body and my brother’s body are involved in this distortion, I am suddenly extremely fearful. These changes feel permanent and overwhelming. Again the same sense of paradox prevails, I am aware that I have taken Salvia and that it was the trigger for this unmitigated weirdness, however I also firmly believe that what is happening is real, and that I have contributed to the literal transformation of this dimension into something chaotic and out of my control. What is especially confusing is that my brother is involved; he is also being transformed to accommodate the goings on in the overlapping Salvia realm. How can this be, he hasn’t taken the psychedelic! Something in my mind looks to his eyes for comfort and I ask if I am ok. I want to know that we are both safe; that somewhere things were the way I’d left them. He reaches out to touch my leg and reassure me. The movement fits in perfectly with the movements of the Salvia world and does little to anchor me, but the consciousness behind his eyes is like a lighthouse that hints at solid land after this insane journey, his presence does wonders to settle me.
It is as though an ENORMOUS (I cannot begin to describe the infinite immensity) being is moving through the space that my room also occupies. My perception of physical matter distorts itself in order that I might see this creature’s existence. It is like organic machinery, made out of an infinite amount of pieces, it is solid and structured, but flexible at the same time. It reminds me of the scales of a snake shifting; pressing against themselves. There is pause and stillness, but also constant shifting, repositioning, movement. And it is aware, not just aware of my presence but of everything. It is working, it is in the middle of something extremely important and my being there is so insignificant that it is appropriate to simply let my body and perceptions become part of the Salvia environment so that I can watch and see what is going on. Like a startled toddler trying to play basketball in the NBL, I press myself against the sidelines and stare in wonder at the moving scenery in front of me. It feels like this area is part of a giant foot, it takes humongous steps and gravity pulls at my physical body in different directions as it lies on the bed. I can’t get my mind around the sheer scale of this place; the atoms in my immediate perception in our reality lend themselves to part of a TINY cellular structure inside this gigantic Salvia being. Soon being on the sidelines is not enough, and I am called to participate.
My relationship with the Salvia spirit during this experience can most easily be described when compared to the presence of DMT beings I have previously encountered. Whereas they had been terrifically excited to see me and gently show me around the aspects of their dimension, Salvia Divinorum seemed far too busy. It is involved in so many important processes, it is not willing to do the work for me, and yet it does want me to come further. Suddenly the feeling of the bed frame in my head becomes unpleasant and I move my body further down the bed, somehow managing to throw the pillows onto the floor. The Salvia spirit is showing me how to immerse myself more. I lie flat and cooperate with an immediate suggestion to make my body symmetrical. It sinks into the bed, I close my eyes.
I am travelling down a long twisting tunnel; the sides look like shiny tree bark. There are billions of tiny green vines and leaves growing out of the bark and waving about like underwater seaweed. The winding turns of the tunnel bring me closer to the surface and I realise that these plants are actually tiny green men growing out of the bark inside this long tube. They are screaming happily and excitedly at me (again, very reminiscent of the ‘cheering’ I heard during an LSD/N2O journey) and waving their arms about with huge grins on their face. I hear a whispered female voice like rushing wind to my left; I open my eyes and look at the bright computer screen. “Turn the music down,” I say to my brother, and he immediately does. I close my eyes again, travelling down the tunnel. The whispering comes again, I try to make out the words but I cannot. They are in another language and I can’t understand them. I close my eyes tighter, willing the vision to become clearer, but it does not. The whispering again, I feel I should answer, to go further I must answer. I must acknowledge the presence of this divine being or it will not put any more effort into helping me participate. I do not say anything. Embarrassment stays my tongue; I would feel silly if I spoke to this being in front of my brother. I feel awkward. I should say something, why won’t I say anything? The whispering again, I open my eyes and look to where it is coming from. My eyes are drawn to the bong resting on the desk in front of the computer, Salvia still in the cone; it wants me to smoke more.
23:30 ~ “Pass me the bong please,” I say to my brother. He looks uncertain for a moment and then picks it up and hands it over gently. I sit up cross-legged and hold the pipe in my lap. My eyes drift over the clock in the corner of the room, the sense of time hits me suddenly. 10 minutes. Is it over? I am unsure if I want to go back again. I tell my brother that it wants me to smoke more, that I can go further if I do. I begin to explain it to him and realise I do not want to stop talking about the experience. I excitedly tell him my perceptions and what I think they were. I explain about the enormous Salvia spirit and how it’s movement through this space causes distortions of reality. I explain its presence, how awestruck I am about everything I have just witnessed. How strange it is to have the atoms in my body become part of a completely different landscape.
23:35 ~ “It wants me to go further, to smoke more.” I look at the clock again and realise that I can go back whenever I am ready and that I have more than enough food for thought for the time being. I tell my brother this and he takes the pipe from me and puts it back on the desk. He patiently listens as I describe my experience in detail the best I can. It is extremely similar to his experience of Salvia. In fact, there are many overlapping concepts in our experiences as well as the stories I have read online and in the accounts of Martin Ball in his book ‘Sage Spirit.’ I wonder about the difference between trip contents being formed by suggested expectations and the possibilities of real, objective spiritual phenomenon experienced during the Salvia state of mind. I talk to my brother about all of this. I am so sure of the awareness of the Salvia organism being separate to my own, it is a humbling, exciting and uplifting realisation. I tell him about my embarrassment over engaging vocally with the Salvia entity and that I believe it was a way of holding myself back out of fear.
00:10 ~ I ask my brother if he would like a journey tonight and he declines, so I thank the Salvia for what it has shown me and empty the ash into the garden outside. I look at the remaining leaves in my hand and say “thank you” again, packing them away gently into a drawer. My brother and me continue talking about the experience. I feel myself again, back in my body completely. I feel spiritually satisfied for what I realise is the first time in a long time. I feel full of life and energy. I feel that I have learned much about the infinite possibilities of reality and perception, and learned a lot about how I would like to approach this remarkable plant in the future. I am very happy and positive about my first time meeting Salvia.
Sitter Observations
MM was sitting up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he lit and inhaled the salvia. He held it in for a decent amount of time then sat there holding the bong. He kept looking at the bong in his hand afterwards and it seemed to me he was deciding on whether or not he should have a second hit, but as his arms seemed to droop downwards I took the bong off him and placed it on the desk. For the next 4-5 minutes he sat in the same position. His body seemed to become quite stiff; in particular his arms were flexed but not moving. His eyes constantly scanned the room, not darting around but constantly moving. A few times his eyes met mine and he seemed a little panicked. I told him he should close his eyes and while not verbally responding, he did seem to register my words, as he did try to close his eyes, but they couldn't stay shut for more than a couple of seconds before they opened again and continued to scan the room.
After this 4-5 minute period he started to move, at first turning his head around as if to better survey the room, but then he slowly started to edge further down the bed until he was lying on his back, completely still. At this point he said, ‘Am I ok?’ to which I replied ‘of course’. He then closed his eyes and I took the opportunity to restart the track of music he was playing. He then stayed like that, on his back, eyes closed and motionless for the remainder of the track, another 5 minutes. The only exception to this was after about 3 minutes he asked me to turn the volume down.
After a full 10 minutes from when he inhaled the salvia he sat up and seemed more himself. The first thing he said was: ‘can you please pass the bong?’ When I asked him why he said it was so he could have another hit. I asked him how his first hit had felt and this seemed to wake him up to the realisation that he had just been through an incredible experience, which he then proceeded to tell me about in great detail. By the time he finished explaining he had come to the conclusion that he couldn't handle another hit quite yet.
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