By "fabric softener" I don't mean RCs as such, though I know quite little in that regard - I've always been really careful about what I take and if I don't recognise the substance or my friends haven't used it before, I say no. I'm very slight and wary of accidental overdose. I'd be more into finding the right prescription drug that can help knock the edges off my personality - I am extroverted, talkative, friendly, confident and uninhibited, and tbh I tend to piss people off pretty easily because I come across like a show-off or arrogant. It's like ADHD except it's not: just a huge personality. It clashes badly with cocaine, which I avoid like the plague, while MDMA is embarrassing as hell cos the amount of shitetalk I come out with is cringeworthy - it does not chill me at all.
I'm sure there must be something out there that can help slow me down and soften my high so I just shut up and chill out a bit but so far, I haven't found it. My benzo tolerance is pretty high so I'd be eating 10mg Valium by the handful and having gone through withdrawl twice, it's not really a drug I have that much interest in. My last blowout, I took 3mg Xanax spaced across an 8 pack of beers and didn't feel a damn thing. Klonopin, Dalmane, etc - nada. I've hitched my wagon to a fair few prescription drugs in search of the effect I'm looking for: Oxy, cold-filtered codeine, Lyrica, Tramadol - none seem to be much use. I guess some modern version of qaaludes or something, but safe and still on a functioning level. I don't want to get knocked out, just a little Comfort, a little softer.