RRJ31337
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2016
- Messages
- 70
Hey guys happy holidays. I just really gotta get this off my chest.
I can't stop crying, I don't know what's wrong with me. Every night when I get off work I just become so depressed that I cry.
Right now I'm making good money but I work all the time, 6 days a week on the night shift. I'm in good standing with my family, I'm physically healthy, I lift weights and get compliments, I have skills, I have a very creative mind, there's even a woman at my job that I've been going to lunch with, making plans with and texting nightly when we get off work, I didn't have anything to say to her tonight.
I quit shooting heroin and coke in March and have been clean almost 10 months aside from pot. Right now I have access to any drug I want, my old drug buddies are texting me offering me shit for free or at a huge discount. But I know none of it will help me feel better
I think about the pure blissfull joy that I used to get when I'd pick up, before I even used the shit, just knowing my spirits were about to be uplifted.
But I used them all to the point where they no longer did what they used to. With extacy/molly I did so much that id just get the come up and then start coming down.
Shooting coke stopped working, I'd no longer get that rush of euphoria, just more wired each shot.
Same thing with smoking crack, no more euphoria just wired
Heroin, got hooked on it, lost a lot. I'll never go back to heroin. I remember the euphoria I got when I smoked it and the warmth I felt when I shot it but Every Single Time I get cold I remember that he'll, freezing wearing a leather jacket inside a 100; degree warehouse pouring sweat shaking, not having the energy to go take a piss fuck that
meth? Shot it for the first time on a bunch of smack.
im dead tired when I get off work and have hella chores that have been piling up but I can't do stimulants anymore. They have a profound effect on my body and I'll be up for a very long time, I can't take that mentally right now. Sleep is my solace.
In the past 9 months I've tripped on mushrooms twice and DMT about 15 times and and the end of every single one of those trips, I ended up crying.
It's even more depressing knowing that I can no longer alter my mood with drugs for the better. I try and talk to my friends but I really don't have anything to say.
On days that I work as soon as I wake up my heart starts racing so I drink some alcohol, prepare for the day and head to work. Drink on my lunch break and back to it. Smoke pot when I get off.
I don't know why I'm so sad, thanks for listening guys
I can't stop crying, I don't know what's wrong with me. Every night when I get off work I just become so depressed that I cry.
Right now I'm making good money but I work all the time, 6 days a week on the night shift. I'm in good standing with my family, I'm physically healthy, I lift weights and get compliments, I have skills, I have a very creative mind, there's even a woman at my job that I've been going to lunch with, making plans with and texting nightly when we get off work, I didn't have anything to say to her tonight.
I quit shooting heroin and coke in March and have been clean almost 10 months aside from pot. Right now I have access to any drug I want, my old drug buddies are texting me offering me shit for free or at a huge discount. But I know none of it will help me feel better
I think about the pure blissfull joy that I used to get when I'd pick up, before I even used the shit, just knowing my spirits were about to be uplifted.
But I used them all to the point where they no longer did what they used to. With extacy/molly I did so much that id just get the come up and then start coming down.
Shooting coke stopped working, I'd no longer get that rush of euphoria, just more wired each shot.
Same thing with smoking crack, no more euphoria just wired
Heroin, got hooked on it, lost a lot. I'll never go back to heroin. I remember the euphoria I got when I smoked it and the warmth I felt when I shot it but Every Single Time I get cold I remember that he'll, freezing wearing a leather jacket inside a 100; degree warehouse pouring sweat shaking, not having the energy to go take a piss fuck that
meth? Shot it for the first time on a bunch of smack.
im dead tired when I get off work and have hella chores that have been piling up but I can't do stimulants anymore. They have a profound effect on my body and I'll be up for a very long time, I can't take that mentally right now. Sleep is my solace.
In the past 9 months I've tripped on mushrooms twice and DMT about 15 times and and the end of every single one of those trips, I ended up crying.
It's even more depressing knowing that I can no longer alter my mood with drugs for the better. I try and talk to my friends but I really don't have anything to say.
On days that I work as soon as I wake up my heart starts racing so I drink some alcohol, prepare for the day and head to work. Drink on my lunch break and back to it. Smoke pot when I get off.
I don't know why I'm so sad, thanks for listening guys
