cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
This is the second time i've had to make a post like this.
A bluelighter, some of you may not remember him, the older ones will, Unfortunatesquid has left the world too soon. He was my ex-boyfriend. Some of you will remember that we had our differences, but they were dealt with. We'd started to speak again in the past few months, exchanged a lot of e-mails and explained a lot of things. Forgiveness is a strong thing to give, and guilt is an admirable thing to admit.
He came to visit me for the new year. It was the first time I had seen him in over a year. We had fun together, visiting museums, going for walks, I made the mistake of taking him into charity shops, (He's worse than a girl when it comes to shopping for bargains!) where he got some designer clothes 'cheap as chips' as he'd say. Had a meal at some mutual friends house. He took me out for a lovely meal on New years eve.
He died in the early hours of Monday morning of a suspected what I hope was an accidental overdose. The police said wraps of white powder was found next to him. I know it was Ketamine.
I'm feeling so muddled up at the moment, racked with guilt and all sorts of emotions. We didn't part on happy terms. He admitted when he was here that he blames himself for some situations I have ended up in. It's all such a mess. Some of you will know that this is the second boyfriend of mine who has passed away, i've still not dealt with the last one, it hurts.
While I was out at the shop, he wrote this on my to do whiteboard in my kitchen, I can't bring myself to wipe it. I think it's a good 'to do' prayer.
2012 was going to be my new start, but I'm starting this one in pain.
A bluelighter, some of you may not remember him, the older ones will, Unfortunatesquid has left the world too soon. He was my ex-boyfriend. Some of you will remember that we had our differences, but they were dealt with. We'd started to speak again in the past few months, exchanged a lot of e-mails and explained a lot of things. Forgiveness is a strong thing to give, and guilt is an admirable thing to admit.
He came to visit me for the new year. It was the first time I had seen him in over a year. We had fun together, visiting museums, going for walks, I made the mistake of taking him into charity shops, (He's worse than a girl when it comes to shopping for bargains!) where he got some designer clothes 'cheap as chips' as he'd say. Had a meal at some mutual friends house. He took me out for a lovely meal on New years eve.
He died in the early hours of Monday morning of a suspected what I hope was an accidental overdose. The police said wraps of white powder was found next to him. I know it was Ketamine.
I'm feeling so muddled up at the moment, racked with guilt and all sorts of emotions. We didn't part on happy terms. He admitted when he was here that he blames himself for some situations I have ended up in. It's all such a mess. Some of you will know that this is the second boyfriend of mine who has passed away, i've still not dealt with the last one, it hurts.
While I was out at the shop, he wrote this on my to do whiteboard in my kitchen, I can't bring myself to wipe it. I think it's a good 'to do' prayer.
2012 was going to be my new start, but I'm starting this one in pain.
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