s p a c e

[vurtomatic]

h [s] o [p] l [a] l [c] o [e] w
s p a c e:  the s((o))und
b [s] e [p] t [a] w [c] e [e] e n
[one and one, two, was one]
two beats, the heart the waste
land a thud thud thud, dead
again { i find myself, and lost
that p [e] a [m] c [p] e [t] [y]
that q [s] u [s] i [s] e [h] t [h] still } again
[a hunger an empty]within
-[tendrils of dreams]inhale
[a cigarette]without
i
cant
g_
_n
b [e] e [m] r [p] e [t] f [y] t

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

i'm surprised that no one esle commented on this one. i like this. original.

 

[harraser]

vurto's posts are always original, the boys a genious, thats why theyre so hard to reply to
dude this was great, it felt kinda.... hopeless. youve got my number if you ever need to talk ok. *hugs*
[ 03 February 2003: Message edited by: harraser ]

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

vurto's posts are always original, the boys a genious, thats why theyre so hard to reply to
i do have to say that this was very original, and it's hard to reply.... but it's odd, ya know..... that no one even took the time to say..... 'whoa, i'm speechless, i don't even know what to say'.....
very nice work, once again.

 

[mealltach]

i really, really liked this...it was extremely effective.
the space/emptiness here really sits heavily on my shoulders as a reader, but it is very real...very well done.

 

[bisKi]

((vurt))
i hate that space...
the void that seems to consume one from within
[ 03 February 2003: Message edited by: bisKi_b ]

 

[vurtomatic]

thanx for the kind words people

i've done an edit of it so comments are welcomed.

h [s] o [p] l [a] l [c] o [e] w
s p a c e
{
the (s((o))u)nd)
b [s] e [p] t [a] w [c] e [e] e n
[one and one, two, was one]
two beats, the heart the waste
land a thud    thud       thud, dead
}
again
{
i find myself, and lost
that p [e] a [m] c [p] e [t] [y]
that q [s] u [s] i [s] e [h] t [h]
}
again
[a hunger an empty]within
-[tendrils of dreams]inhale
[a cigarette]without
i
cant
g_
_n
b [e] e [m] r [p] e [t] f [y] t
(i never could)

 

[mealltach]

phew! this poem is such a work out, i freakin LOVE it!
thumbs up on the edited version. even better. oi vey, mister.