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Russian Roulette

I will admit that I am pretty shy... what could a doctor offer my anyways? I in no way plan to take any pharms.
 
I acknowledge that.

Doctors are not walking script papers.

They normally have a much better grasp on physical conditions due to medication interactions. However you did take a street drug. He will still be able to give you a well educated opinion on the situation.

The bottom line is to not worry about the issue so much and get out there and start living. Unless you suffered a stroke or have a brain tumor, I doubt you did any long lasting damage. It's all in your head.
 
I appreciate the support and advice Renz Envy, despite my different beliefs and experiences with regards to doctors. As previously stated, I remain optimistic. It's hard for me to read "It's all in your head" right now, but I hope that I can look back at all this with a smile.
 
Uhm I have suffered these symptoms for a long time, to me it feels like a proper heart attack, the feeling of being unable to breath, usually accompanied with a "falling" sensation. For me, experiencing this one time while high on weed was enough to cause a full blown panic disorder.

It's been a year and a half and I still struggle a bit. Doctors can't help you, no ammount of medication can, I believe you're looking at this from a wrong angle. What REALLY helped me with this is diversion. You shouldn't look at the symptoms as symptoms because they aren't. They are sensations, feelings without any significance, and they can't hurt you.

Don't try to fight the anxiety mentally because it will only make it stronger, you're actually empowering your disorder by recognizing it. The only thing that really works is diversion, whenever you feel the anxiety coming up do something that takes your full attention, for me it's playing the guitar, for others it's photography, it has to be something that is challenging enough in that it takes your full attention to do it properly. You'll notice that when you're fully focused on you're activity, the sensations will dissapear.

EVERY time you start to become anxious use this diversion and eventually you'll fool your subconsious mind into thinking that everything is infact okay, for more information about this I highly reccomend "the linden method" from charles linden, this guy is an EXPERT on all anxiety disorders, rather then medication he describes diets, simple mind tricks and day to day activities to better deal with, and eventually get rid of your anxiety all together.
 
Sounds like PTSD to me, I have a VERY similar experience, I went through a traumatic event while rolling. Worst night of my life, i've been struggling with it ever since, its all thats been on my mind daily for almost two years, its like a merry go round though process.

I had KILLER anxiety, and insomnia, panick attacks and such, until I rolled again, and it was another shitty roll where I depersobnalized because I couldnt talk to anyone, besides the strangers that were around me making me feel uncomfortable. I've been numb ever since, no anxiety, sleeping like a baby, but being numb isn't vert fortunate either. I get scared of emotionally connecting with someone.

I'm having a hard time telling if it was because of brain damage or PTSD. I'm starting to believe PTSD..

CHeck out this thread, its someone that had the SAME thing as you and is completely recovered all from rolling again..

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/580155-mdma-cured-my-anxiety-from-a-post-bad-trip-exp
 
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Update, 15-months post incident:

And so it finally happened, a positive update to report! About three weeks ago, I had a fever, so I pretty much stayed at home for 3-4 days. It was a good time for me to relax, eat whatever, and just not care (no stress or anxiety... which is why i've come to love being in pain/fever, because it makes the anxiety disappear).

Anyways, to get to the point, about a week after this (two weeks ago) my anxiety just sort of HALVED in intensity. Sometimes now I can actually be in my car and not be anxious. Even if I do get anxious, the intensity has just been halved. All of the general anxiety that i've had, has been halved. The triggers are the same, its still semi-persistent, but its so much more manageable now....makes me realize just how awful it was for like 14 months. I plan to keep getting better and have this anxiety HALF, to the point of where the anxiety is almost gone. Man, I am pretty stocked, and I will never mess with mdma or strong seratonin modulators again.

There is hope people! <3 :)
 
Giog said:
First Bad Comedown, I just thought I should correct you when you say that it has been 4 months. It has been 11 months and on NYE it will be exactly one year since my traumatic rolling experience. I am contemplating going to a rave again for NYE but I would not roll, however I might consider taking adderall, however I most likely will not because I had severe heart pain for weeks after my incident and I still have it to this day. It comes on sometimes at night when I am in bed or sometimes when I go run... I can pretty much trigger it myself and it usually goes away.

Interesting trainwreckmolly.... I don't think I am ready at this point to experiment like you did. I considered that notion many times, but it makes little sense physiologically, even though psychologically it does.... sigh
Click to expand...

in regards to your heart pain, check out this article. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626

i thought many times i was having a heart attack after cocaine use, turns out, my heart was indeed beating harder, but that was causing my more sensitive tissue to get triggered. I spent thousands on tests to only find out from several doctors that it was most likely this condition as (at the time) I was in my early twenties and every single test (EKGs included) showed NO SIGNS of heart trauma or damage, or even previous heart attack.

I still have this condition, after running or exercising or breathing heavily sometimes I'll notice it.

Also, ever since then the pain was re created whilst smoking weed, and the circular thought nature of a marijuana high makes paranoia worse. I actually have panic attacks quite regularly if i take a huge bong load or smoke a blunt

It sucks, i can only take tiny rips and im still risking having a panic attack every time i smoke weed. I love weed, but its getting to me.
 
This has to be a pre-existing condition brought to the surface by MDMA. No way it takes 15 months after only 2 pokes to return to moderate normalcy. As mentioned before every one is different, and my guess is you are susceptible to panic attacks, even if you have never had one before (have you?)
 
^ lol you go from, this has to be a pre-existing condition to 'have you?' Don't be so ignorant. It was not a pre-existing condition, and I have never had a panic attack. Your post was not appreciated, sorry. As you said so yourself, everyone is different. Oh and I wish I was at moderate normalcy... I still have a lot of issues with anxiety. It just got so much better from the hell that it was.

I really can't describe it though, my anxiety literally just HALVED in intensity. One day I was shit, next I was much less shit.... after a period of 15 months. It sure as hell felt like a switch.
 
Do you think people who become schizophrenic from drug use have any previous inclination that they already suffer from this condition? No. Based on your limited usage of MDMA your case is about as isolated as becoming schizophrenic after using LSD.

Sorry Don't mean to come off as a dick, but what happened to you is most certainly rare and therefore has to be related to your specific brain chemistry.
 
It is widely accepted knowledge that any psychoactive drug, even alcohol or pot, can trigger mental disorders...

But theres good news... 2 months since cessation is hardly cause for alarm... takes me half a year to stabilize from pot and took several years off opiates before feeling normal and healthy again...

If a year passes and everything isnt back to normal, then perhaps look into treatment... bbut personally i would give it some more time and try not to worry about it... its highly unlikely these symptoms will be permanent, and if they are your perhaps the first case so youll be famous and have a disease named after you... lol

Seriously tho unless these anxiety attacks are severe or happening all the time, give it a month or two anyway and see if they get better.... id also recommend not complicating things with treating the symptoms with more drugs :)
 
The one thing that I forgot to mention is that at about the same time the anxiety halved itself I started to each dark chocolate, 85%, almost daily (3-4 times a week). Not saying its the chocolate, but could be, I don't know for sure.
 
I'm experiencing some bad things as well 5 days after rolling two days in a row.
I really hope it does not turn into a prolonged experience like yours and I really hope that you recover soon!

I'm having problems sleeping due to nightmares about the rave I went to.
I hope they don't continue and I hope I can just forget about them/ brush them off easily because I know I had a good time at the rave and I know I want to go again but if I go again and I think about the nightmares, I will be very upset...
 
Try eating a set amount of dark chocolate every day.... maybe even try several smaller serving spaced thru the day... chocolate has long been known to have mood enhancing properties... i mean dont just scarf down chocolate bars but perhaps buy a one pound bar and split it up over 2 weeks evenly... see what happens... im not a doctor but that seems like a good test lol
 
Honestly it sounds like the first panic attack was possibly caused by x, but after that it sounds like its probably in your head. Like you are your own worst enemy. You know what I mean? Its amazing what your mind can do.... that can apply to negative effects also. I've been getting minor anxiety a couple times a week lately. I had gotten it before a few years ago only for a short period, 3 or 4 month span, very manageable. I was in great shape, ate well, and didn't drink or do drugs. But it went away until a couple months ago. One morning at work I noticed it, the feeling like if you are on a high ledge and look below you and feel like you might fall. I continued to get it after that sometimes but only when I thought about it first. Nothing else caused them, only my own mind think about it. And if I distracted myself quick enough they would go away before they fully hit me. And now for the last couple weeks I haven't gotten any at all. In the last two years I haven't changed anything about what I put into my body or my exercise. I know for me it was all mental.and it sounds like its very possible yours is too. I bet once you beat it when its coming on it will go away for good.
 
Question: I understand that shrooms do affect the seratonin network. However, to what extent? Furthermore, would it be very unwise of me to take shrooms after my experience with ecstasy?

I am only thinking about taking 1.5grams.
 
you have brain damage, its pretty simple. I always laugh at the people that deny it as hundreds and hundreds of posts surface showing the same problems with mdxx users.
 
I've had a very similar experience. I rolled maybe 9 or 10 times, but in a shorter time frame (about a year, with one isolated use 10 months later than the rest). Now, I'm not gonna say I was anxiety-free before MDMA -- even before ecstasy, my brain NEVER stopped thinking -- but I never had the constant state of worry that you're describing until I did X. I was a daily weed smoker before I started rolling, but once I had rolled 2 or 3 times I started to get extremely anxious on weed. I ended up quitting weed because it felt worse than being sober.

It's been 2 years since I rolled or smoked weed, and over a year since I have drank. I did have an addiction to suboxone for a year (taking it every single day), and that definitely brought its own complications and slowed down my recovery, but I'm 6 months removed from that and I still believe the drug that did the most damage to me is MDMA. The anxiety from coming off of opiates is completely different from the anxiety I got after MDMA, and while I can feel that opiate-induced anxiety all but disappearing, I still have the panic attacks that I associated with molly. I'm learning how to deal with them, but it is a slow fucking process. The best thing to do is to stay busy and when you start to feel anxious, just DO something; ie: go to the gym, play keyboard, anything but sit still. A lot of times, that works. But sometimes it's so crippling you can't do anything but sit in your head. If you've found a way to deal with that, let me know, because I've just been trying to suck it up.

I can also relate to being super sensitive to stimulants after stopping MDMA. I used to smoke cigarettes and down red bulls like nothing. Now, if I want caffeine I have to drink the smallest coffee available and I still don't finish it 90% of the time because it puts me in a state of constant panic attacks. I also quit cigarettes 6 months ago because the nicotine just made my anxiety 10x worse.

The only drug I take currently is propranolol (a beta blocker), which is supposed to help with anxiety. It worked at first, but after you start taking it every day it just becomes something you need, not something that really helps.
 
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