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Giog

Bluelighter
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Feb 2, 2010
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Creating this thread to inform, not to scare, threaten, or anything like that. I have a fairly decent understanding of mdma, everything from pharmacology to kinetics. Anyways, I have done mdma a total of 7 times. These 7 times have been spaced out by about 3 years... so very moderate usage.

So why the hell are you making this thread? That's all great.....

My 7th time using mdma, tested pills, my life took a turn for the worse. I don't feel depersonalized or horribly depressed. I do however have had almost nonstop anxiety for 2 months since my last usage, I haven't had a single good night sleep in 2 months, and I've been having some horrible mood swings. (no previous signs of any of those conditions, and not a polydrug user).

I know many of you guys have this whole approach that moderate and smart usage of mdma will not cause you problems, but it might. I think that those that get away with doing mdma with little problems, lucky! There must be a good genetic/environmental reason, but I can't even begin to speculate on what it may be.

Everyone is different. I never had any substantial issues after ingesting mdma until this last time. Don't ever see myself taking it again because the price I am paying is way too high, especially since I am in school.

Wish everyone on here can keep rolling without problems cause mdma is one hell of an awesome drug, but just be careful! It doesn't always end well! Mdma is not a predictable drug. Just like the dosage/effect mechanism is exponential and nonlinear, the outcomes can easily be the same! (makes little sense, I know).
 
I'm sorry you have had such negative effects, even considering how responsible you are with your MDMA spacing.

Though many people feel MDMA has a long history, compared to many other drugs (legal and not), it's quite new, and there is still much to be learned about it. The summarizing segment of Ecstasy Rising (a great Peter Jennings doc on MDMA) essentially wraps up the whole documentary with just that- "we don't really know what the effects are because this drug has only been widely used for 20 years or so". (< now it's closer to 30)

2 months is not a lot of time, but when you're suffering from anxiety and sleep disorders, it certainly can feel like an eternity. I personally had the same problem, and it resolved itself (not due to abstinence, oddly enough, I was still rolling every 1-2 months) in about 4 months. My anxiety issue is gone now, but I felt like after one particular "session" it started to emerge a week or so later.

I'd just continue to practice healthy sleep/diet/exercise habits, and give it some time.
 
For a temporary remedy try getting some xanax or valium for sleep.
Wait it out a bit longer and see if it lightens up.
 
Dude i'm not trying to be a downer but this is why i was being so harsh in Ismene's thread on brain damage. I brought up the point that MDMA can be like a switch your first few times are fine, then the next one sets off some psyche problems. Well what do you know, my friend Giog now has anxiety problems : (
Hey pal, all i have to say is it will pass by for the most part. It seems MDMA can set off an anxiety problem that is different from anxiety a normal person would get from normal life. The anxiety MDMA sets off is more of a panic type, i have been there so i know. I would recommend not smoking weed because thats where some nasty panic attacks can arise. During the time my anxiety was at real high levels because of MDMA i would stubbornly keep smoking weed and some nasty nasty attacks would come because of that. I still smoke weed now and only once in a while the anxiety will come out, i guess it depends on the strain of weed.

Just wondering, your last time you dropped how many pills did you drop that night. I would get some B- complex vitamin as i think it has helped me on the issue. Also I'm pretty sure exercising will help for the anxiety stage of MDMA, mostly cardio work. It will pass by, just don't dwell on it.
 
Have a positive outlook, you will get through it. Try meditiation and accupuncture.

I went through similar things when I was really into psychs and rolling and stuff, and I abstained for quite a while, and the problem resolved itself with a meditative mushroom trip where I was just out in the woods alone.
Now I'm not advocating more drugs to solve your drug problem, but it may help, I don't know.

Good luck, PM me if you want/ need more advice.
 
Thanks for all the helpful suggestions guys, I really appreciate it. I am a fairly healthy guy that almost never smokes weed and drinks very moderately. I also try to exercise and am a fairly good student, so this isn't coming from someone who does a lot of drugs, shitty lifestyle, etc.

@Finished- I took two pills that night, they were both pokeballs, and they were amazing(honestly had the best night of my life) but I did end up having a crazy heart attack like thing where I really thought I was going to die. This happened at like 1:35am, like 30mins before the event closed. I had chest pains for a week after but that subsided and then maybe after 2 weeks I started getting this terrible anxiety.

Yeah, I try to have a positive outlook with everything, I am actually a pretty happy guy (no homo) like I do have my ups and downs, but I kinda talk to myself :D lol, you know what I mean... I try to keep on the happy side.

The only thing that was different about this time that I rolled was that I was having a VERY stressful week leading up to the event and at the event I experienced stimulation that I thought was beyond humanly possibly( thanks to a couple special people). It was weird cause I would keep blowing up every 10mins ALL night. The people I met that night were nuts! It was almost like I had a positive feedback loop going (very rare, most processes in the body work off negative feedback mechs, I know).
 
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It could just be coincidence as well, in the same way that some parents blame immunizations for the onset of autism when studies show that there is no correlation. It just so happens that autism is detected in a young child coincidentally around the same time that they received their immunizations.

You could as easily correlate that perhaps this occurred during the same period when you happened to drink twice as much coffee as usual or anything else that was occurring during the time when you first noticed this anxiety, insomnia, etc. Diet plays perhaps the largest role in these types of shifts in our physiology. There just isn't a way to know.

There is, of course, the chance that you ingested something besides MDMA that messed with you. Did you test your pills regularly the few times that you did it? This would be a more likely explanation if there was a direct correlation between your last pill and the subsequent effects.

If people want to be safe, buy a testing kit and test your pills before consuming them.

To feel better than ever, I would recommend eating a diet high in dark green leafy vegetables (drink a green smoothie every morning loaded with kale, chard, etc.) and eat a diet rich in whole foods (no processed foods, refined sugars, starches, wheat, gluten, etc.) and exercise regularly. You'll feel better than ever in 1-2 months.
 
Update: I've been eating healthy (as always) and to the above user; No it is not coincidence... I've really tried looking at all the factors, I was fine before, I don't do caffeine or any stims, and I never had any anxiety EVER in my life except maybe two situations I can pin point that went away that same day. After that dose of what was tested as an md substance, I have had almost nonstop anxiety for 3 MONTHS now... I'm really getting worried. The worst part is the sleeping... I haven't gone a night without waking up multiple times in months...try doing this while being in school. Plus the anxiety makes it really hard to study, messes up my digestions, it's pretty intense...

I'm trying my best to stay positive and wait it out... I just hope it goes away, I mean it's been three months, cmon. How much longer am I going to suffer???

Again @ bhamster: I'm a healthy individual I exercise and eat stupid healthy, but none of that makes a difference, and I can understand why, such advice is almost mood which you give. If your body is so anxious it will not absorb the nutrients such foods are providing properly. I could go on and on... but I just want to let you guys know I'm not an idiot....
 
Try bio-feedback therapy first - it only requires talking to "yourself" for the most part. Alot of psychiatrists do it or can find someone who does it, and they are some of the better doctors in the field, IMO.
 
Sounds like it could be something like PTSD. The trauma from the bad effects during that night could cause you to have anxiety during your every day life.

A very stressful/frightening experience can be very damaging even if the event itself doesn't seem significant at the time. You also have the added anxiety from the belief that you "fucked up your brain on drugs."

This only increases the total anxiety you are having which in turn makes you feel worse, sleep less and get more anxious. Its a circle that feeds on itself. I have been there and understand completely.

You need to break the cycle. Sometimes SHORT TERM use of benzos can be a big help. Just take them long enough to start getting a good nights sleep and relax. Also I find stopping all other drugs especially pot is important.

Its more likely that the issues are from a psychological source instead of a pharmacological one.

Good luck!
 
This is why I find E to be a pretty fucked up drug. Goo thing you did not do it more and you stopped after your 7th time. You will def. be fine but if you do not see any changes in the way you feel just go to the doctor. You don't even have to tell him what you think the anxiety and problems are from. Good luck. Btw I have constant conversing thoughts in my head and sleeping problems and overall bad anxiety so I kno how you feel.
 
shpongled1234 said:
Sounds like it could be something like PTSD. The trauma from the bad effects during that night could cause you to have anxiety during your every day life.

A very stressful/frightening experience can be very damaging even if the event itself doesn't seem significant at the time. You also have the added anxiety from the belief that you "fucked up your brain on drugs."

This only increases the total anxiety you are having which in turn makes you feel worse, sleep less and get more anxious. Its a circle that feeds on itself. I have been there and understand completely.

You need to break the cycle. Sometimes SHORT TERM use of benzos can be a big help. Just take them long enough to start getting a good nights sleep and relax. Also I find stopping all other drugs especially pot is important.

Its more likely that the issues are from a psychological source instead of a pharmacological one.

Good luck!
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Interesting I agree and I understand what you are saying. I don't smoke pot often... maybe once a month and same for drinking. I understand its more likely psychological but I can't seem to break free. I might have a week at best or a few days every couple of weeks where it goes away... but then it comes back. It's been 4 months now and it is still bad, but maybe a tiny bit better. I don't really feel comfortable taking benzo's but if I get desperate enough I might... I don't want this to be a lifelong thing.

Very interesting what you said about PTSD... I mean it was a scary moment for me. I was alone without my friends and all of a sudden my heart goes crazy... I was calling them frantically and trying to get in touch, which luckly I did after about 45mins... but that was a very scary moment.

Anyways, this seems like a very bad cycle that I can't break. I am going to give it more time and update in a month or so... thanks for all the suggestions/support.
 
Ime mdma is pretty fuckin predictable. Dont overdo it, weigh out ya own doses and know/trust ya sources. Hell i ate a half gram of crystal over an hour and 15 mins and i was fine
 
Giog said:
The only thing that was different about this time that I rolled was that I was having a VERY stressful week leading up to the event
Click to expand...

.....

It could just be coincidence as well, in the same way that some parents blame immunizations for the onset of autism when studies show that there is no correlation. It
Click to expand...

not saying this is the answer, just seems like a plausible explanation. also, there was probably something nasty in those pills to make you have that "heart attack" type reaction. only makes sense right? you never had anything like that before on your rolls and you only took 2 this roll
 
I had/have a very similar experience with rolling. I've only rolled a 6 times over the course of 2 years but after one event taking 2 tested pokes, I seemed to develop an anxiety problem a week later. I was worrying so much about the "fog" in my head and wondering if I was going to be "smart" again.

I had been a very regular user of marijuana for 2 years prior (nearly everyday), but after that roll I started experiencing SEVERE panic attacks after smoking. This included intense breathing, increased heart-rate, sweating and severe shaking (not just the normal bong-load shakes). These were all accompanied by horrible thoughts and visions in my head.

It's been about 6-7 months since that roll. After about the first month of stubbornly continuing to smoke weed and experiencing these panic attacks, I've quit smoking and only drink on special occasions. I work out daily(mostly cardio), and try extremely hard to eat a very wide-ranged healthy diet.

I after about 4-5 months of my healthy living, I began to realize a decrease in my normal every day to day anxiety. I tried smoking again, and also didn't experience the intense panic attacks I used to.

I have rolled once since that last roll, and I can say it wasn't the best roll I've ever had, but I'm still doing fine with my anxiety and it still is getting better everyday. (Able to sleep the whole night through now too!)

Honestly, it just took time for me. Things will get better, at least they did for me.

Good luck buddy
 
Currently, this is how things stand:

The anxiety problem that I have had in the following months since my last post (and 11 months past my last roll) is still there. Yesterday for example, I probably had one of the worst anxieties I have ever had in my life. This is because I had anxiety all day and when night came.... the anxiety never went away and I layed in bed until 3am super awake and even cried a bit in desperation... eventually I put on some music and after and hour or so finally fell asleep.

My anxiety will just come up with many thought 'triggers' and it will quickly manifest its physiologically. The first thing I notice is that my intestines will compress, or so it feels that way (they become clenched). Secondly, my skin and mouth become or feel very dry. Most days I have no anxiety, but I would say that on average, about 2 days a week I have real difficulties. However, its not like I get anxious every week. Sometimes i'll be perfect for one week, stressed for a couple days, anxiety for a couple days, perfect for two weeks, anxiety for 4 days... I'm sure you can see the cycle. I've read some other posts from users here, but my only symptom that came up because of my last time rolling is this anxiety that is still unforgivably here. I try to stay positive and believe that it will someday go away. However, I am having a very difficult time trying to understand whether or not I can 'control' this condition. I can't understand how it is being manifested. Are my thoughts causing it? Or is it coming up spontaneously due to physiological reasons? Moreover, I am already kind of a health freak and I notice that my biggest trigger is eating... sometimes i'll eat and soon thereafter my intestines will clench and stay that way all day and I will be worrying about what I ate, it really sucks. Blah, help? advice?

Oh and mods if you could change the title of this thread that would be great. It is a rather inappropriate title and I no longer feel the same way I did when starting this threat many months ago.
 
^ A few questions for you:

When you use mdma, do you

Redose? and if so how many hours apart are you taking mdma?
Drink lots of alcohol?

mdma affects everyone differently,

what is your lifestyle like? are you a nocturnal person?
 
I have only used mdma 7 times in my life. The last time which deeply impacted me I did redose once. One pokeball followed by another about 1.5 hours later. I don't drink very much and NEVER drink while rolling. I am not a nocturnal person and I am a student in college. I eat very healthy, exercise moderately, and try to stay somewhat social even though I am a little bit awkward sometimes hehe.
 
^ im also a little bit awkward.

I never realised it beforehand but after a 800mg DXM trip it didnt trigger if off, but it made it a bit more painfully noticeable.

Just try and eat plenty of fish and high protein meats and get plenty of sunlight.
 
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