Pyro
Bluelighter
I am running in a race. I am sprinting steadily now. The cold desert around me is blurred into the expressionest style. I can make out nothing, but the goal ahead of me. I am determined and rushing to make it there first.
One time, the goal became blurred. I rubbed my eyes and tred to reconnect. I recollected my reasons and motives. I shook my head a bit to try to jostle the idea loose, back into my consiousness. I must remember. Where was I going? I had to remember. What was the purpose?
Had I forgotten my drive so soon? Because I forgot what my initial desires were, does that make me desperate? Desire unfulfilled? Yet, I didn't know where I was headed.
Everything was blurred around me then as I looked around. 360 degrees. Just like a painting. Surreal and untouchable. The external was like the sun. It was distant and unattainable, yet I could feel that it was real, and I knew it was.
So I stood there, searching my memory for that reason as to why I first began.
For that moment I felt nothing. All of my reasons did not apply to the race. I was searching distant memories of other races I had ran prior. Was this like those in any way? Could my motives have been the same as those older ones?
Then I could not remember if I had ever finnished any of those other races. I saw no rings on my fingers, and knew there were no trophies in my closet at home.
Maybe this was all just one big race? Maybe I had been running in the same competition this entire time? So I tried to apply those distant motives to the here and now. Suddenly there opened up before me, something like a still image. Something concrete and realizable.
That was the goal! Well, it must be anways. It has to be. What the hell does it matter if it is or it isn't? It's a purpose.
The ground moves underneath my feet. Am I running in place? I feel as if I'm definatly making progress. I will just keep my eyes fixed ahead of me and try to remember my reasons and motives this time...
Even if I am running in place, at least I have a purpose now.
Tim - Pyro
----------
The above was a psycadellic view of my pursuit of Christ. Get it? Maybe now someone will understand the change that has taken place within me? Peace to you
One time, the goal became blurred. I rubbed my eyes and tred to reconnect. I recollected my reasons and motives. I shook my head a bit to try to jostle the idea loose, back into my consiousness. I must remember. Where was I going? I had to remember. What was the purpose?
Had I forgotten my drive so soon? Because I forgot what my initial desires were, does that make me desperate? Desire unfulfilled? Yet, I didn't know where I was headed.
Everything was blurred around me then as I looked around. 360 degrees. Just like a painting. Surreal and untouchable. The external was like the sun. It was distant and unattainable, yet I could feel that it was real, and I knew it was.
So I stood there, searching my memory for that reason as to why I first began.
For that moment I felt nothing. All of my reasons did not apply to the race. I was searching distant memories of other races I had ran prior. Was this like those in any way? Could my motives have been the same as those older ones?
Then I could not remember if I had ever finnished any of those other races. I saw no rings on my fingers, and knew there were no trophies in my closet at home.
Maybe this was all just one big race? Maybe I had been running in the same competition this entire time? So I tried to apply those distant motives to the here and now. Suddenly there opened up before me, something like a still image. Something concrete and realizable.
That was the goal! Well, it must be anways. It has to be. What the hell does it matter if it is or it isn't? It's a purpose.
The ground moves underneath my feet. Am I running in place? I feel as if I'm definatly making progress. I will just keep my eyes fixed ahead of me and try to remember my reasons and motives this time...
Even if I am running in place, at least I have a purpose now.
Tim - Pyro
----------
The above was a psycadellic view of my pursuit of Christ. Get it? Maybe now someone will understand the change that has taken place within me? Peace to you
