Charles Ferdinand
Bluelighter
Hi! I've been on Clonaepam for 4 years until 2 months ago.
Now I'm on a low dose of Carisoprodol every now and then, and Pregabalin daily.
Since the 2nd year onwards I've been chasing the dragon.
2 months ago I decided enough is enough and went through the benzo withdrawal hell. If you believe in hell, this must be like it, if you don't, then you'll get an idea of how it feels.
I ever once got to 20mg of Clonazepam and 1200mg of Lyrica (now 150mg).
I've tried 52 different drugs and meds, to no avail. I'm fighting to get reasons to leave the benzos alone. My psychiatrist even told me: "Anxiety is not a flu, why leave the benzos so hastily to get back to anxiety?"
I'm starting to think he is right with his ocasional low dose advice. I've been anxious since I can remember, from the crib, I get flashes. I'm not deppressed or suicidal, I'm a rational man... But this seems like a an endless loop, I feel like trapped deep into a well and nothing to do.
I loved being anxious free, talking to everyone, doing normal stuff, etc.
Before benzos (lorazepam was my first one) I used to showed up drunk to clasess just to get through, no one ever noticed, or if they did they didn't say anything.
I'm telling you this, because my dads (mom principally) wants me to get off every pill, like if it was a fucking flu that just goes away with time! Their ignorance and cruelty leaves me perplexed. They'll barely listen to my doctors who claim I have a treatment resistant GAD and SAD, with a little OCD and some PTSD, the whole fucking spectrum.
You got any advice? Anything is welcome.
Sorry for the long post, but I had to let this out of my chest, because, honestly, I'm fucking tired and annoyed of this shit.
Regards.
Now I'm on a low dose of Carisoprodol every now and then, and Pregabalin daily.
Since the 2nd year onwards I've been chasing the dragon.
2 months ago I decided enough is enough and went through the benzo withdrawal hell. If you believe in hell, this must be like it, if you don't, then you'll get an idea of how it feels.
I ever once got to 20mg of Clonazepam and 1200mg of Lyrica (now 150mg).
I've tried 52 different drugs and meds, to no avail. I'm fighting to get reasons to leave the benzos alone. My psychiatrist even told me: "Anxiety is not a flu, why leave the benzos so hastily to get back to anxiety?"
I'm starting to think he is right with his ocasional low dose advice. I've been anxious since I can remember, from the crib, I get flashes. I'm not deppressed or suicidal, I'm a rational man... But this seems like a an endless loop, I feel like trapped deep into a well and nothing to do.
I loved being anxious free, talking to everyone, doing normal stuff, etc.
Before benzos (lorazepam was my first one) I used to showed up drunk to clasess just to get through, no one ever noticed, or if they did they didn't say anything.
I'm telling you this, because my dads (mom principally) wants me to get off every pill, like if it was a fucking flu that just goes away with time! Their ignorance and cruelty leaves me perplexed. They'll barely listen to my doctors who claim I have a treatment resistant GAD and SAD, with a little OCD and some PTSD, the whole fucking spectrum.
You got any advice? Anything is welcome.
Sorry for the long post, but I had to let this out of my chest, because, honestly, I'm fucking tired and annoyed of this shit.
Regards.