Ruined my life and family ties..

[bleeezzyy]

Well ive been a drug user/dealer for a good while now, ketamine, heroin, benzos, you name it. I hid it from my family for a long time but recently my apartment got raided by the DEA because i was dealing. Basically i had to come clean to my parents and inform them i got charged with 2 felonys and a misdemeanor. My family was extremely shocked and now only my mother and sister will talk to me. I love them so much.

I don't know how to get the rest of my family to forgive me now. I also am worried about my future with the 2 felonys.

 

[TryingToGetBetter]

Bleezy. I'm so sorry that it had to happen the way that it did. I understand that not only are you dealing with, or dealt with in the past, going through the justice system which in and of itself is... meh... with drugs.

your family is dissapointed and, like you said, SHOCKED. Put yourself in their shoes. Your family WILL return to you. You are going to have to go through the bullshit that comes with drug convictions. You're going to have to go through a lot of tough stuff man, I can't deny that. Making it through these things SUCCESSFULLY, with a POSITIVE mind, and a mindset that you will CHANGE your life and focus all of that time on bettering your life... that's the stuff you need to focus on.

Focus on yourself. Lean on your mother and sister, express that you made a mistake. Express that, if you truly believe and want this, that you will never do anything like it again. The rest of your family will come back around. They love you, they just don't know what to do at this point. I dealt with the same thing with my family when I came clean on my pill addiction the 1st, 2nd, and now 3rd time. We all make mistakes, but family is family. They love you, and while I can't promise they will speak to you again soon, I am very confident that things will return to normal and things will be in the past if you can stay strong and show them that you know you messed up.

Prove to YOURSELF firstly that you want to change and will, regardless of what legal stuff you have to battle with. Next, prove to your FAMILY that you truly do love them. When things like this happen, those that love you and have been around you can feel partially at blame. We're here to help. Please continue to post. We'll help as much as you can.

With love and support,

TTGB

 

[bleeezzyy]

Bleezy. I'm so sorry that it had to happen the way that it did. I understand that not only are you dealing with, or dealt with in the past, going through the justice system which in and of itself is... meh... with drugs.

your family is dissapointed and, like you said, SHOCKED. Put yourself in their shoes. Your family WILL return to you. You are going to have to go through the bullshit that comes with drug convictions. You're going to have to go through a lot of tough stuff man, I can't deny that. Making it through these things SUCCESSFULLY, with a POSITIVE mind, and a mindset that you will CHANGE your life and focus all of that time on bettering your life... that's the stuff you need to focus on.

Focus on yourself. Lean on your mother and sister, express that you made a mistake. Express that, if you truly believe and want this, that you will never do anything like it again. The rest of your family will come back around. They love you, they just don't know what to do at this point. I dealt with the same thing with my family when I came clean on my pill addiction the 1st, 2nd, and now 3rd time. We all make mistakes, but family is family. They love you, and while I can't promise they will speak to you again soon, I am very confident that things will return to normal and things will be in the past if you can stay strong and show them that you know you messed up.

Prove to YOURSELF firstly that you want to change and will, regardless of what legal stuff you have to battle with. Next, prove to your FAMILY that you truly do love them. When things like this happen, those that love you and have been around you can feel partially at blame. We're here to help. Please continue to post. We'll help as much as you can.

With love and support,

TTGB

I appreciate those kind words, gives me a little hope in my situation.

The worst part is i live in Texas, extremely strict drug laws, i also got a felony for my gun.

I wish you luck kicking that pill habit, i also used to be addicted to pills, Xanax and Oxycodone. I will probably only be serving a year or two, considering my record was clean before this.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey bleeezz.. sorry you got popped.. during a time like this worry about what you control.. you dont control how your family chooses to interact with you right now. You aren't in control of the "Justice" system. But you are in control of a bunch of things that may have an impact on the decisions of the people who are. I would make straitening out your life your number one priority. I would do everything I could think of that the courts may look on as favorable. i would become the person you think they want you to be. I would land or keep a strait job. i would have a bank account like "normal" people do. I would attend NA/AA meetings and get a sponsor.. even if you cant stand it and think it hogwash!! I would try and get a sponsor with a long time sobriety and if possible who holds down a prominent or respectable position in the society where you live. Who knows you may find an answer in those rooms or maybe you will find one hell of a character witness.. hell you may even see the judge or the prosecutor at those meetings.. it has been known to happen. I would work the program to the best of your ability and make sure this sponsor realizes that your going pretty all out.

I would have myself evaluated by a licensed drug and alcohol counselor and enroll in any treatment even before my first court date. i would volunteer at a local charity that you like what they do and get to know a prominent person who is there.. cant have to many people backing you up.

If you are a religious person I would consider getting into and active in a local church and getting to know and involved there.

If you are not Happy with your current profession I would return to school or be getting some sort of training to better your economic and social; status.. and possibly getting to know a counselor or professor there.

I would be patient with the family members who are giving you the cold shoulder and work on bettering your life as this is the best way to show them that you are some one they want in thier lives.. and dont worry I bet all these people will circle back around into your life. Keep in touch with your mother and sister as this is how the rest of them will keep track of how you are doing.. and they all are even if they dont admit it right now. Please dont be to harsh on these people as this is your little shit party and not theirs.

Your going to make it through this.. Its not the end of the world. Your family and your life will return to you. worry about and deal with whats in your control and dont even think about whats not as worrying or stressing about what you can do nothing about is so natural but in reality is insane and will drive you insane. Do what ever you can and then let and accept where the chips fall as thats where they are going to fall anyway and if you already have to do this thing then why not accept it, do whatever you can to lessen the blow and to use the time productively.. look into any education programs for inmates.. or allot of centers and prisons allow books to be purchased from amazon and sent to inmates so if you have been planning on reading or studying anything this may be a good time to do it. So maybe look at what you may want to order and leave or arrange some money with a trusted family member for these orders and commissary.

So I guess do all that you can do to minimize the blow and then make the absolute best of what you get.. anything in life can be the best thing that ever happened to us if we choose to treat it as such.

This will be over before you know it and the mental stress we sometimes choose to put ourselves in over this shit is often the worst part. Very Best wishes.

 

[bleeezzyy]

im probably fucked, i hope i dont get too long of a jail sentence.

texas is a terrible state for this to happen in.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Thats great advice from neversick x