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Rolling after a bad trip?

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SecondPull

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
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79
Hey folks,

Looking for some advice. About a month ago I candyflipped at a large festival and, to put it mildly, had a bad time. I posted a trip report here if you are interested in the specifics:

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=523126

Since then, I have been flitting in and out of 'ok'...it seems like I have some PTSD-ey symptoms that are hard to shake, mostly in the form of difficulty managing anxiety--I still find myself worrying about my mental stability, even though I am not exhibiting any signs of the delusional thinking or psychosis that were present during my trip, so these concerns are not particularly rational, but they are difficult to dismiss. I've been meditating, exercising regularly, eating right, etc...all of which are helping, but I am still definitely not back to baseline.

I am planning on going to a show at the beginning of November with a lot of friends, most of whom are pretty keen to roll there, and I am debating with myself whether or not this is a good idea. On the one hand, it seems like it could *potentially* be therapeutic, much in the same way MDMA is applied to treatment for combat PTSD--allowing the individual to work through the thoughts and circumstances surrounding their trauma without provoking a fear response. On the other hand, I am not sure that simply being in an altered state of consciousness would not provoke a freakout in and of itself.

Obviously I don't need to make a decision right now, as I may be feeling quite a bit better in another 3 weeks, but I wanted to collect some opinions from those who might have experienced similar things before.

Thanks for any advice.
 
Rolling at a show is not MDMA psychotherapy.

That being said, cautiously treading the waters of altered consciousness isn't necessarily a bad idea ... if you want to go back there.
 
I had a "dark" period with MDMA exactly a year ago- about 4 MDMA sessions in a row were altogether unrolly, after each time I spent about a week after feelng like perhaps my relationship with MDMA needed to come to an end, and every time I'd give it a try afterwards (I did space them out a bit) I'd have so much anxiety, I'd work myself into a freak-out and have a bad time. Finally, I just made the decision when the next time me and my group was rolling again to go for it, full on, and if it sucked, that was it, no more MDMA. I didn't intentionally talk myself out of pre-roll anxiety: I really was just sort of angry, looking at it as a last experiment, and didn't realize in the process that I removed the fear as a result. As a result, it was a greattttt experience! I remember sitting on a couch at the crappy rave I was at, so happy that I was actually enjoying myself LOL. End of dark period.

There's not really a solution in there- more to give you hope, that it is possible to come out of a "bad trip" period, and enjoy MDMA again. A huge part of it is setting, spacing it out, and not over-preparing, but being prepared. There's lots of great tips on dancesafe.org on how to deal with a bad trip.
 
If your still suffering from anxiety brought on by a drug experience surely it would be safer for you to avoid the same situation again until your ok?

You could be fine - you could find that the entire experience just freaks you out and screws you up in a bad way. Theres no way for us to know how you will react.
 
Bearlove said:
If your still suffering from anxiety brought on by a drug experience surely it would be safer for you to avoid the same situation again until your ok?

You could be fine - you could find that the entire experience just freaks you out and screws you up in a bad way. Theres no way for us to know how you will react.
Click to expand...

This is, of course, the only sensible and responsible choice. Funny how you can convince yourself otherwise when you want something different.

Thanks guys.
 
Wow I read your trip report BRUTAL!! MDMA isn't going anyway why not take some time off? Just chill for a little while and try to sort your head out. Smoke a little green and kick back. Time heals all! Good luck though! I'm rooting for you!! :)
 
i didnt know it was possible to have a bad time on mdma... it just makes me so happy i couldnt ever get myself close to having a bad time
 
I've rolled after having pretty unsettling trips on both acid and shrooms and been fine. MDMA is in a league of it's own, in my opinion. It's pretty difficult to have a bad time on MDMA unless you're really in a terrible mindset and just not ready. That being said, just take a break and recuperate. You'll feel a lot better in the long run <3
 
You should roll befor the event in a calm environment with close friends (and clean pills) to test waters, and just in case you do freak out it wont be around thousands of ppl . DUHH! festivals can be pretty heavy. At the MASSIVE I went to this year A LOT off ppl od just because the event was really intense 100,000 + ppl a stage that looked like a living breathing monster and amazing lights ,music blows u up a lot and if at any secound you feel somewhat bad there's really no were to go! !
 
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