It was a very weird experience at that point, and in fact, I only recalled it last night from the simplest thing. I was scrubbing earwax from my ear. (Yeah: ew.) When suddenly I thought: "What is this feeling of resistance, located at a particular point in space, between one part of my body and another?" It became meaningless, this idea that I was pushing against my ear. Actually there are only sensations, not located in Euclidean space, just sensations void of dimension altogether. And the sensations can be put into words but really, they are simply what they are - pain, resistance, ecstasy, coldness, etc. Even feeling "Something's going on in my stomach" is only 'located' in the stomach because the brain is hardwired to perceive it that way. In fact it's just a sensation, void of location, just a feeling.
I thought, when have I had this thought before? And I remembered, it was during the mushroom trip. And I also remembered what that train of thought thad led to...
Though I was well aware of myself in physical space, this absorption in the pure, spaceless, and very dysphoric sensations led my intoxicated mind to some strange conclusions. The boundaries of my body became arbitrary lines concealing my awareness to just this physical form and whatever happened to it. This was when I started to believe I was God, because the feelings were zero-dimensional and could not be intellectualized into words, therefore my true nature must be Absolute. I started pressing into the desk and the walls to try and break through this confined mortal existence. The pressure between my hands and the obstacles would increase and it seemed there might not be a limit to how intense it became, so I stopped. (Similarly, as I started talking, I got louder and louder and I thought that I might become infinitely loud, so I quietened down saying "Just stop, stop, please, okay? Please okay just stop.") Because I could not break through back to absolute existence, I spent the next hour wandering around the room in circles, trying to figure out what I could be, what form I should take, whether it would be exciting and worth experiencing. When I tried to remember what I had been before, i.e. a human, it seemed increasingly, absurd, like the belief that the qualia of my sensations could be located at a point in space. It eventually became so absurd that I forgot about it altogether, and had no idea what I was. Then even my thoughts and language disintegrated into glossolalia for a while. I sat on the floor conjuring up random images from my life to try and make sense of what was happening to me. It all just seemed completely ridiculous. That was the peak, I think.
It's actually been cathartic writing this out... the trip makes a bit more sense and it's possible it could have been averted if I'd been with an experienced trip-sitter. It also still sounds crazy, but not as crazy as I thought - there is some twisted logic to it. Hopefully someone else can gain some kind of insight from this, haha.
