Right Where You Want Me.

[rewiiired]

Exhaustion stretched like elastic
finally snapping
with my collapsing,

head too heavy to lift, turn,
glance over the shoulder
at sensed presence;
instead, I relinquish to the cerebral well
so long resisted,
too weak to whisper,

"Is someone there again?"

Then I'm not there myself.
Deep inside,
deeper,
I'm outside again.

Sky looming above, the lights
have returned, dancing like mad fireflies
in the distance, out above the treetops,
a madness with a method,

then a time lapse in the sequence,
just another dream
spent chasing a severed scene,

a moment missing,
a moment that is mine.
One of countless you've stolen
that you have to right
to take from me.

And I awake,
yet again remembering
the amnesia I felt asleep
wrapped within the cocoon
of another wild dream.

It's horror
if you don't seem to understand,
but doubly so if you do,

that the only thing worse
than not remembering
is not knowing why it is
that you cannot
for the lives and deaths of you
recall.

Its like a tease,
an itch deep inside,
on the tip of the mind's tongue
that I haven't
the limb and digits to scratch,
teeth to brush it against.

You're far smarter than I
or far more stupid,

for if you don't wish me to know
that you took away,
why do you leave me with the sense
that something's missing at all?

Again and again,
I dream myself back to the ledge
just to peer into the frigid gulf
and tremble.

It irks me, the void,
but what kills me is the thought
that I am right where you want me.

 

[panic in paradise]

there is no speaking of what has truly been taught~
though, from where i am sitting
it is easier to see the seekers of thine so sought.
~
this reaf, accepted as placed around ones head; re-versed -
exposes oneself until it is believed as a curse.
one always will feel a draw towards what is felt greater -
still, the myriads that came will always come later ...
yet these are only facades to disassemble, be ascertained from and surpassed
- to know the structure or the lack there of;
-their thresh-hold your mortar; their chambers your pestle; their gleam
now gathered is crushed and like
ash
its light scattered back into infinite-

you create from here what must.
~