Ridin' the Sub Way

Well, I finally admitted to my dad after continuous suspicion and interrogation that I do, in fact, have a mildly heavy opiate addiction... In all honesty, I'm blessed to have such caring and understanding family members, because they've all been there too, and came back miraculously unscathed (for the most part). And they know I'm not a bad person .. despite what I myself might believe otherwise at times... I think I'm finally to the point, after three or so years of chasing my tail and the next high (what little high was left to be had) to leave this shit behind me... Whether or not it'll last forever, who can say. Frankly, I highly doubt I'll go the rest of my life without using an opiate recreationally ever again, but I firmly believe I'll be able to keep the demons in check before they get out of hand again... Anyway, as of right now, I'm on a trial of 8mg sublingual Suboxone strips twice a day. I'm .. rather pleased at how well it's going so far. This is the first time in the last three years where I have actually gone a day without having some pretty wicked joneses. I'm not high, but it's keeping me just ever so slightly above baseline without being a tease. My nose still runs a little and my legs are still cramping up a bit, but I'm not fiending like a madman and I'm not waking up every morning in hellacious withdrawal. I feel just ...... normal. I never thought feeling just ... normal could feel so good... Hell, it even helps with my back pain. I realize that buprenorphine is still a very powerful opiate in its own right, and that there may well be a darker side to it as well on down the road, but my plan is to stay on it only as long as I need to for the sickness to go away, and hopefully the literature I've read won't have steered me wrong...

I finally feel like I'm starting to get my shit back together... Dad, I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me by setting me up with that doctor... Maybe when we start talking to each other again, I might be able to swallow enough pride to tell you so...

 

that awsome dude I have been on bupe for 3 years and it is a godsend as long as you are honest with yourself about what it is. Just realize the longer you stay on it the harder it will be to come off and that it is an expensive ass drug to be on long term. also know that the sub doc is just your new drug dealer like they dont give much of a fuck about you just as long as that money keeps flowing in. that said my life has improved drastically in the last couple years I went from banging heroin constantly to working towards a degree. Like everything in life its a double edged sword

 

Congrats! Keep going, you're on the right track! It's great your family is there for you, that makes all the difference in any type of recovery people are going through.. support is a huge help!