ride

[33-33]

Air thickens
with a babies' cry.

Spray paint proclaims
that you don't
fuck
with HCB,
nigga.

Darting eyes of contempt
warn against complacency
as walkmans beat
hard-house hits
and lyrical dreams
of somewhere else.

Masses lurch forward
brakes screech with agony,
waiting for oblivion
or 5:17pm express
as city succumbs to night.

 

[chandler]

Nice.... I loved the format of it. Really painted that picture of a city darkening, the clash of everything/one that leaves come night, and everyone that stays.

 

[(Wordy)]

^ Agreed. This is fresh and vivid.

I spend a lot of my time in the city and on trains, and this poem spoke to me and my experiences.

 

[colicolo]

This is fresh and vivid.

amen

 

[l0ckd0wn]

reminds of me of a friends apartment in Chicago when he opened the window in late afternoon... you could feel the city getting darker... and the mood changing...

 

[lil angel15]

I also like the format it is written in