K, here's question for you, as you were saying alot of people get negative side effects off smoking weed, have you ever heard of any one getting these side effects off smoking? basicly i smoked daily for about 10 years 'not good i know' iv stopped recently because the effects of smoking REALLY changed recently.
well about 3 months ago, i started getting really negative effects off smoking but did'nt realise it was the weed that was doing it to me, when i clicked on i stopped completely, well basicly, at first, after a while, it used to just put me in to a completely negative mind frame where all i could do is worry about 'evrything' i'd call this paranoia/ anxiaty, and it got to the point just after i'd quit when i'd still have a few tokes on one evry now and again, and i'd then go 'shit i wish'd i hadn't'v done that' because it put me in this completely negative world, where evrything is a little 'colder' not temperature wise, jus 'colder' more like gloomy. so i stopped completely.
then like a week and a bit ago i was at a party took two burns on a spliff and i had a completely 'different' effect off the high, i 'very' different effect, one i'd never experianced before. everything went VERY wierd, like, it's hard to explain, like almost tripping, but not, my perseption changed, evrything looked slightly trippy, like... hmmm.. it's hard to explain, i got very dissconnected, very shut off, like, as in you know how in evryday life you'r 'IN' your invironment your like 'aware' well it completely cut that off from me, i could look around but i felt completely cut off, i 'was' completely cut off, i could talk to people and hold good conversatins with them but it i just didn't feel 'connected' almost like being in a day dream but not at the same time,
and i was getting wierd ideas into my head about the world and stuff that i KNEW wernt real yet couldn't seem to (or found it very hard to) shake off, as in my mind reacted in a way to situations as though i was in a kind of dream where i was consciously projecting all the people around me and i was kind of 'controling' them or i felt connected to all the movement around me at least on a kinda psychic level, i could kind of 'feel' evrything around me, and when people moved i'd be like i didn't do that, why'd she move, or i'd have the feeling i was moving people and cars with my mind, i know it's ABSOLUTELY STUPID, which i knew it, was and all the time i was saying that to myself in my head, but my mind reacted to stuff around me as though ^the above said^ was reall, it was very difficult for me to stop this and get it out of my head which i finaly did thank god, but at one point i was litteraly crying with worry going why is my head doing this!?
and i'd kinda self therapise myself to snap out of it, which was long and hard and tiring and worrying as my mind was going funny, you could say i was losing the plot a little bit, which really isn't good, it really hit me when i looked in the mirror and realised all i had been experiancing was in my head, not in the world around me... anyway... this lasted for about a week, well the perseption change thing wen't, well on and off a few days ago, and my perseption is back to normal again, and i'm feeling alot more connected back with the world recently, yesterday and today especialy, and all the stupid ideas about the world and blahblahblah have gone apart from the odd instantanious blip which i shut off imediatly. 'phew'
but i don't know, i feel, 'different' somehow, in my mind, it's really hard to explain, i just feel as though my mind has changed, very subtly, i can't put a finger on how,. but 'it has', like my awareness, my perseption, i suppose my whole conscious experiance, the underlying minute kinda 'blueprint', kinda mental reactions to stimulus, is 'different' somehow, not anything most people would notice if it was them, but i'm, and i say, VERY aware, i'v always been, and say, i think back to a memory of being in like my mates house or something, and have that memory in my mind, and i look around now, it's 'different', yet i can't put a finger on 'how' almost, a different state of mind, or a slightly different perceptional construct from my sensory imput, i don't know but something along those lines, see nothings, physicly differen't, but 'somethings' just not quite right. it's getting better, i'm consciously 'recovering' myself, it's difficult, but i a'm pulling myself together as it were.... so...
having read this, have you heard of any one else having a similar affect from smoking, and any like advice, opinions, kinda stuff?
by the way, i'v been to my doc and he's asured me there's no reason to think there will be any lasting effects of what i'm going through.
what are your views if any? i'd like some advice. thanx.
