Revenge for crimes against humanity (and me)

[lasthurrah19]

Hi everyone,

This is thread about revenge. This is about how I feel my blood boil in my veins when I think of how the person who hurt me the most is still out there hurting others. I can never make him hurt as bad as he hurt me and others. He is just incapable of going there.

And still there are other reasons. How many more people will her hurt and ruin before someone finds out and kills him themselves or he goes to jail... and how I can I put my life above the countless children he no doubt abuses every single year...

Maybe I should explain. I was kidnapped by a sexual predator from 2000-2004, when I was 15-19 years old. I am almost 26 now. He was only five years older than me, and I was old for him. As far as I know, he has abused many children but I was his first actually "capture" so to speak. This situation is complicated and yes my parents let me go with him but that is not the point. He is now 30 years old, almost 31. He started this process with me when he was only 20. I can only imagine the things he does now.

I am going to be okay. He made a lot of mistakes and he underestimated the drive I have/had to live. I eventually escaped (long story), and he moved on. I know exactly where he lives now, but I will not bother him. Any attempts to contact him have left me feeling worse, and is totally not healthy for me. Last time I spoke to him was in late 2009 on IRC; bad move.

Fuck him for taking my teenage years, ruining my sexuality and causing me more physical and emotional pain than I can explain. Fuck him for making me break my values, forcing me to watch child pornography and violent sexual acts. I will refrain from going into more detail.

I can never make him hurt as bad as he hurt me and others. He is just incapable of going there. But still I yearn for a day when he can realize that he is the scum of the earth and a piece of shit of the lowest (or highest) caliber. I couldn't get angry for a long time, but now I am. And fuck him for exasperating my disocciative disorder and using it to his advantage. So much deprivation - food, sleep, bathroom, light, fuck it's too much for me to fathom anymore, even though I went through it.

Who am I to not pursue him myself; what is my life compared to potentially hundreds of others that he will scar with his behavior? What keeps me from making a plan to kill him myself? Well, I couldn't live with myself. And it would make me like him. Which is what he wanted all along; a partner in crime, little did he realize you cannot make someone a pedophile when they are not one. Fuck him for screwing up my moral compass and making me question my every intention.

I'm not trying to write a blog entry. How do I get over this? How do I say this is no longer my concern? I'm not responsible for his behavior. I know that.

The police have done nothing, and the FBI has done nothing. They are "watching" him. Pfft, thanks a lot.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Besides the earlier questions, I'm sure others can relate to me.

Thanks for reading.

 

[caltrain208]

Well, you definitely have a reason to be angry. I have nothing but compassion for the suffering you endured. It seems as though you have done all you can do, short of killing the man, which I will not recommend, as it will cause you much more pain (prison) and save him from the hell that is his life, having to live with what he has done to others. Hopefully the police will come through, odds are, if he's still hurting others, he will be caught. Keep in mind that acceptance is the answer to ALL of our problems. Sometimes all you can do is accept that what happened happened, and move on from there. I strongly suggest therapy of some sort- unfortunately many people online do not have the same level of expertise/ experience therapists do. Best of luck with your situation.

 

[tomber]

Wow I don't know what to do. If that had happened to my brother or whoever I can safely say I would immediately kill him. If it happened to me? Who knows. I really hope everything works out well.

The tough part is I really believe there is no moral problem with murdering this guy. The problem is that the law does. So maybe give it some time. Focus on getting back some normality. Get into life!

 

[nervousone]

You thought about calling the police and pressing charges? I'm sure he would receive adequate punishment from the inmate population. It is your responsibility to call the police if you are worried he is going to hurt other children.

 

[Allein]

I can never claim to know your pain and clearly my words are so easy to type. But I'm guessing you are looking for others views.

I have a friend who went through a violent rape by a stanger who broke into her flat and know a little about how this has damaged her life.

But don't let this sub human steal any more of your life, every moment you spend thinking of him is more time he is stealing. You have a life in front of you which is yours to take, killing him would not make things better or change the past... even though he doesnt deserve to live.

 

[TINK]

wow.. you are definitely a strong and courageous young woman with a great life ahead of you.

You need to talk to someone about this and get your emotions wrapped around what has happened and how you are going to move forward.

And, if I may ask... who are you currently living with?

 

[lasthurrah19]

You thought about calling the police and pressing charges? I'm sure he would receive adequate punishment from the inmate population. It is your responsibility to call the police if you are worried he is going to hurt other children.

Yes, I spoke to his local police who directed me to an FBI agent that deals with child sex crimes in the state this happened in... supposedly they are watching him. This brings me great guilt as I didn't call until 2008. But I was in total denial any of this happened until then. I gave them lots of info - how he gets the porn (exactly where online he gets it), how he hides it (buries it and such), where he trolls for people on the internet and IRL, how he sorts his porn (by age)... basically anything I could remember, which is a lot. They have called me as recently as late 2009 to tell me someone else complained about him. They asked me what I thought was the best way to catch him, they were thinking of doing a "To Catch A Predator" type thing with him, which would never work. He's not going to met someone like that. I also called them when I went to an inpatient hospital the first time as the hospital was obligated to call, but I said I'd do it and did with a therapist.

I also called his aunt, the only person I could think of that would be able to protect his relatives. She totally believed me, and shortly after this happened he moved away from his family. I don't know if that had anything to do with it but I am positive that she wouldn't let him around her children or her nieces and nephews after what I told her. I don't know if she told the police; it'd be hearsay anyway. I also told her about the cousin I knew for sure he had molested (before he met me), although I feel kinda bad for that. I burdened her with a lot of knowledge but someone from his family had to know. It was the classic kind of "I knew there was something wrong with him, I just didn't know what" kind of thing.

About pressing charges myself, well this opens up a whole new can of worms. For one, he was only five years older than me, so it's kind of close to the borderline on what people would accept as a relationship. I can prove taking a minor across state lines and also probably statutory rape. His family and my family all knew about it. And since he took a lot of video, they may be able to seize his computer and find all sorts of things... I struggle with this a lot. I don't want my parents to get in trouble either, although they should have protected me this is long in the past and I've already dealt with the police in regards to them re: childhood abuse that someone called in last year. I got the police of their backs as much as I could, especially my mom doesn't deserve this and I know she did the best she could.

Also, I can and do fantasize about the day I see him in an orange jumpsuit and shackles in court, but it would be very traumatic to have details of my abuse examined in court. For one, saying it. For two, being accused of making it up and/or being crazy (after all, I'm the one with psychiatric conditions documented and like 10 hospitalizations). And then what happens if the police screw up or he otherwise gets to go free? One, he may come after me, and I'll always have to worry about that.

I want to stress that this has the possibility of being a big news story if and when he ever gets charged, not because of what he did to me but because of what he's done every day for years and years. I don't want this to be my whole life, and it could very well be if this gets some kind of attention on TV/news. Maybe I am overblowing it but I don't think so. *Edit - I edited out some stuff, too much info...

But don't let this sub human steal any more of your life, every moment you spend thinking of him is more time he is stealing. You have a life in front of you which is yours to take, killing him would not make things better or change the past... even though he doesnt deserve to live.

This is pretty much my stance. He does deserve to die, but I don't believe in violent retribution for crimes in any case... and plus like you said, it doesn't change anything. He is stealing my time, you're right. And that just pisses me off a lot more. It also pisses me off that I hate him and only him, and that I don't want to have hate in me anymore.

And, if I may ask... who are you currently living with?

I live with my maternal grandmother.

For everyone saying therapy, yeah I'm in therapy, I have been for almost three years. So you've got approx 14-19 with this dude, 19-22 with drugs and then 23- almost 26 in therapy. I actually think I'm very close to being able to accept all of this, and one of the last things is this desire for revenge. I want this shit out of my head. I don't want to think of it every day, every hour, from this anger to the most mundane things. I'm ready for this shit to be out of my head, there is little more to learn from it, I understand how it happened and I do see that I can eventually live a normal life. And this ties in with what I said about the police and such - that will guaranteed freak me out and possibly be a huge setback. But that makes me feel selfish as like I've said, what is my life compared to X number of other people... this is a big circle and I have to get out of it somehow.

Thanks everyone for the responses. Sorry the posts are so long, this is complicated unfortunately.

 

[theartofwar]

Hi everyone,

This is thread about revenge. This is about how I feel my blood boil in my veins when I think of how the person who hurt me the most is still out there hurting others. I can never make him hurt as bad as he hurt me and others. He is just incapable of going there.

And still there are other reasons. How many more people will her hurt and ruin before someone finds out and kills him themselves or he goes to jail... and how I can I put my life above the countless children he no doubt abuses every single year...

Maybe I should explain. I was kidnapped by a sexual predator from 2000-2004, when I was 15-19 years old. I am almost 26 now. He was only five years older than me, and I was old for him. As far as I know, he has abused many children but I was his first actually "capture" so to speak. This situation is complicated and yes my parents let me go with him but that is not the point. He is now 30 years old, almost 31. He started this process with me when he was only 20. I can only imagine the things he does now.

I am going to be okay. He made a lot of mistakes and he underestimated the drive I have/had to live. I eventually escaped (long story), and he moved on. I know exactly where he lives now, but I will not bother him. Any attempts to contact him have left me feeling worse, and is totally not healthy for me. Last time I spoke to him was in late 2009 on IRC; bad move.

Fuck him for taking my teenage years, ruining my sexuality and causing me more physical and emotional pain than I can explain. Fuck him for making me break my values, forcing me to watch child pornography and violent sexual acts. I will refrain from going into more detail.

I can never make him hurt as bad as he hurt me and others. He is just incapable of going there. But still I yearn for a day when he can realize that he is the scum of the earth and a piece of shit of the lowest (or highest) caliber. I couldn't get angry for a long time, but now I am. And fuck him for exasperating my disocciative disorder and using it to his advantage. So much deprivation - food, sleep, bathroom, light, fuck it's too much for me to fathom anymore, even though I went through it.

Who am I to not pursue him myself; what is my life compared to potentially hundreds of others that he will scar with his behavior? What keeps me from making a plan to kill him myself? Well, I couldn't live with myself. And it would make me like him. Which is what he wanted all along; a partner in crime, little did he realize you cannot make someone a pedophile when they are not one. Fuck him for screwing up my moral compass and making me question my every intention.

I'm not trying to write a blog entry. How do I get over this? How do I say this is no longer my concern? I'm not responsible for his behavior. I know that.

The police have done nothing, and the FBI has done nothing. They are "watching" him. Pfft, thanks a lot.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Besides the earlier questions, I'm sure others can relate to me.

Thanks for reading.

I have to warn you - you are in a dangerous place. I've been raped multiple times, one by one specific man for 3 months straight.

Since then I turned from mild manner kid to absolute fight anything - i had no flight mechanism. It's taken me YEARS of therapy, horrible drug use and abuse. To trut and love again.

I keep a watch on pedos in my area - but even there I have stopped, it was eating me alive knowing a 3 time convicted child rapist lives around the corner from me adn watches the kids go at bus stops etc - fucking rips my heart out. But it is out of my hands unless I am going to let thefrst bastard who did me in win for good. He would want nothing more than for me to lose it to my bloodlust and end up in a cell. Please be safe - I have been here, I am fighting it still, please PM me i you need to vent.

 

[eldesperado]

Maybe you could hire a private investigator to see if the guy is up to anything still? If you have the money that is.

 

[paranoid android]

I would say keep making complaints to the police about him. It just sickens me that fucking pigs treat stuff like child abuse so lightely compared to say someone trafficking drugs. This is one reason why cops are absolutly fucking useless. Ive seen this kinda stuff happen where cops just don't give a fuck about some piece of shit pedophile and the cunt is free to walk the streets.

The only advice i could give you would be to keep the pressure up on the cops. If you bother them enough they may just get up off their fat asses and actually do their job. Somehow the cops get the part about serving and protecting the public wrong and just oppress the public instead. In this way they are just as guilty as the pedophiles they let off in my opinion atleast.

 

[lasthurrah19]

I have to warn you - you are in a dangerous place. I've been raped multiple times, one by one specific man for 3 months straight.

Since then I turned from mild manner kid to absolute fight anything - i had no flight mechanism. It's taken me YEARS of therapy, horrible drug use and abuse. To trut and love again.

I keep a watch on pedos in my area - but even there I have stopped, it was eating me alive knowing a 3 time convicted child rapist lives around the corner from me adn watches the kids go at bus stops etc - fucking rips my heart out. But it is out of my hands unless I am going to let thefrst bastard who did me in win for good. He would want nothing more than for me to lose it to my bloodlust and end up in a cell. Please be safe - I have been here, I am fighting it still, please PM me i you need to vent.

Hi theartofwar, I'm sorry you went through what you did. Serial rape and/or captivity is one of the worst things I can imagine going through. It is very good to know other people have done stuff like you describe with learning in pedophiles in your area and such. I do things like if I see a group of kids I think how statistically X number of them are being abused and trying to figure out which ones are. It's pretty frightening to think like that all the time. I also used to do things like check out this specific guy's myspace and those of his family... so not healthy. Now that I think about it, when I look at the sexual predator list I am more checking to see if I know anybody on it, from school or whatever.

It's kind of hard to explain it all, even though I know and believe 100% what happened and understand how it was set up it's just hard to integrate it completely. I also have dissociative identity disorder which surely just makes it harder. I think about kids I see or have know who are 14/15 years old and I can get angry thinking about how I was that age when life became well what it became (I don't know a word that can relate how bad my life was with him), but I can't directly apply it to myself because it's more vague than a dream in some ways and more real than reality in most others.

Even spoke to him online in late 2009 which was a really shitty idea. Basically I just warned him that police were watching him, where my intention was to I don't know scare him or something. I've learned more since that event that not only are things like that guaranteed to make me feel worse, he just plain doesn't give a shit, nothing is really going to scare him and he just doesn't think about what happened like I do. He's moved on. I agree that it would amuse him to no end if he found out I got arrested for anything, but other than that I don't think he has a thought in his head about me.

I find that the more I stay away from children the more I am able to not think like this. It's a shame though because that precludes me from a lot of things in life if I continue as I am. There are a lot of things that go on in my head, processes that I have to unlearn from when I lived with this guy. I had to learn how to be able to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time without drugs. I had to reteach myself the best I could to have hunger cues. I have not tried to have sex but I don't think it'd be possible for me right now. Basically every day I lived there was how do I give him what he wants in the shortest amount of time so he will leave me alone the quickest. Also how do I fake going along with some of the things he wanted to do to other people while at the same time sabatoging what he was doing (he caught on to this eventually). I'm getting way off topic but all of this does make me really angry and maybe a little sad if I were to let myself actually feel this.

Relating this back to anger and uhh homicidal feelings I guess, please don't get the wrong idea I don't have the means to or any kind of plan to hurt anyone. Realistically the only thing that keeps it on my mind is if I were to kill myself, perhaps it'd be a good idea to kill him first. I used to entertain this a lot but my suicidal ideation is a lot better than it's ever been so this is still just a pipe dream fantasy thing. If I ever am worried I will hurt myself or someone else I will go to a hospital or call 911. LOL, this is my disclaimer.

I know I have every right to be angry but as they say there is a thin line between love and hate. Either way my mind's on him, and there are important feelings attached. I'm just starting to actually have feelings again, and I'd like them to go towards something worthwhile other than causing flashbacks and anxiety and anger.

Thanks again, feel free to PM me also at any time.

 

[lasthurrah19]

I would say keep making complaints to the police about him. It just sickens me that fucking pigs treat stuff like child abuse so lightely compared to say someone trafficking drugs. This is one reason why cops are absolutly fucking useless. Ive seen this kinda stuff happen where cops just don't give a fuck about some piece of shit pedophile and the cunt is free to walk the streets.

The only advice i could give you would be to keep the pressure up on the cops. If you bother them enough they may just get up off their fat asses and actually do their job. Somehow the cops get the part about serving and protecting the public wrong and just oppress the public instead. In this way they are just as guilty as the pedophiles they let off in my opinion atleast.

See, I understand why they just can't take my word that he's a pedophile who is actively abusing children. When I called them, it was more than three years after I got away. Surely one could accuse anybody. BUT, I think all factors combined, plus the fact I was willing to give them my name and all, plus with any minor detective work they could easily prove I was there, and all of the specifics I gave, etc. I really don't understand how all of these things combined give nothing but a raised eyebrow. The FBI guy I talked to obviously believed me and related that some of the details I told him were common of cases he worked involving catching people spreading child pornography. Certain details as to storage and where online these kinds of materials get spread. Stuff I'd find it odd to know unless you were a law enforcement official dealing with these types of cases.

Anyway I think you have a good point about following up with them more. Maybe they will eventually get the point, or maybe in ten years my local news or larger scale news will learn that people had complained about him and nothing ever happened until they found a dead body or something. That wouldn't surprise me at all.

 

[theartofwar]

Hi theartofwar, I'm sorry you went through what you did. Serial rape and/or captivity is one of the worst things I can imagine going through. It is very good to know other people have done stuff like you describe with learning in pedophiles in your area and such. I do things like if I see a group of kids I think how statistically X number of them are being abused and trying to figure out which ones are. It's pretty frightening to think like that all the time. I also used to do things like check out this specific guy's myspace and those of his family... so not healthy. Now that I think about it, when I look at the sexual predator list I am more checking to see if I know anybody on it, from school or whatever.

It's kind of hard to explain it all, even though I know and believe 100% what happened and understand how it was set up it's just hard to integrate it completely. I also have dissociative identity disorder which surely just makes it harder. I think about kids I see or have know who are 14/15 years old and I can get angry thinking about how I was that age when life became well what it became (I don't know a word that can relate how bad my life was with him), but I can't directly apply it to myself because it's more vague than a dream in some ways and more real than reality in most others.

Even spoke to him online in late 2009 which was a really shitty idea. Basically I just warned him that police were watching him, where my intention was to I don't know scare him or something. I've learned more since that event that not only are things like that guaranteed to make me feel worse, he just plain doesn't give a shit, nothing is really going to scare him and he just doesn't think about what happened like I do. He's moved on. I agree that it would amuse him to no end if he found out I got arrested for anything, but other than that I don't think he has a thought in his head about me.

I find that the more I stay away from children the more I am able to not think like this. It's a shame though because that precludes me from a lot of things in life if I continue as I am. There are a lot of things that go on in my head, processes that I have to unlearn from when I lived with this guy. I had to learn how to be able to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time without drugs. I had to reteach myself the best I could to have hunger cues. I have not tried to have sex but I don't think it'd be possible for me right now. Basically every day I lived there was how do I give him what he wants in the shortest amount of time so he will leave me alone the quickest. Also how do I fake going along with some of the things he wanted to do to other people while at the same time sabatoging what he was doing (he caught on to this eventually). I'm getting way off topic but all of this does make me really angry and maybe a little sad if I were to let myself actually feel this.

Relating this back to anger and uhh homicidal feelings I guess, please don't get the wrong idea I don't have the means to or any kind of plan to hurt anyone. Realistically the only thing that keeps it on my mind is if I were to kill myself, perhaps it'd be a good idea to kill him first. I used to entertain this a lot but my suicidal ideation is a lot better than it's ever been so this is still just a pipe dream fantasy thing. If I ever am worried I will hurt myself or someone else I will go to a hospital or call 911. LOL, this is my disclaimer.

I know I have every right to be angry but as they say there is a thin line between love and hate. Either way my mind's on him, and there are important feelings attached. I'm just starting to actually have feelings again, and I'd like them to go towards something worthwhile other than causing flashbacks and anxiety and anger.

Thanks again, feel free to PM me also at any time.

I understand better - you are far more stable with your emotions in these regards as I am. I have taken years to get my anger (stemming from rape and zero self esteem) but reality of it i I had to stop what I was doing because I personally back then would've instigated and w/years of boxing some cage fighting and weighin in solid at 6'3 , I would've laid that fucking pieceo f shit out cold. And truly while I do not believe in any rehabing of any sort will ever fix the shit twisted in their head, I honestly am now at a place where violence is something I cannot be part of. 11 concussions stopped me from cage fighting which used to be my outlet - now I've had to tackle it mentally, hard , very hard, but it's been rewarding I believe. Best of luck bother.

 

[izzy66]

But don't let this sub human steal any more of your life, every moment you spend thinking of him is more time he is stealing. You have a life in front of you which is yours to take, killing him would not make things better or change the past... even though he doesnt deserve to live.

^qft
i can't agree more. do not let the bastard take another second of your life. easier said than done, i know, but there cannot be any true peace until you let it go for karma, or god, or w/e belief system, to take care of the retribution.
i made myself physically and mentally sick wanting, needing revenge on those who abused me or didn't stop it when i asked for help. every moment was focused on how i could exact my revenge and i lost myself all over again.
somehow i pushed away revenge thoughts and one day i saw a little newspaper article that the bastard had been arrested (and later convicted) of aggravated sexual assault. idk how many kids the bastard terrorized but finally he pulled his shit on an adult and when she got away from him, she went to the cops. i had long since moved 1000 miles away and many years had passed but finally, finally he had to deal w/ consequences.
i'll always struggle w/ certain things. certain dates, times of year will bother me. sometimes totally out of the blue, something will hit me and i'll suddenly be in tears. but those times are fewer and the anger that accompanied thoughts of revenge has almost completely resolved.
LH, you are so much stronger than you even know. keep working to get beyond what your abuser did. but mostly try to believe that he will absolutely get what's coming to him cuz he will. and it will most likely happen right when you least expect it.
all the best to you.
-izzy

 

[lasthurrah19]

I understand better - you are far more stable with your emotions in these regards as I am. I have taken years to get my anger (stemming from rape and zero self esteem) but reality of it i I had to stop what I was doing because I personally back then would've instigated and w/years of boxing some cage fighting and weighin in solid at 6'3 , I would've laid that fucking pieceo f shit out cold. And truly while I do not believe in any rehabing of any sort will ever fix the shit twisted in their head, I honestly am now at a place where violence is something I cannot be part of. 11 concussions stopped me from cage fighting which used to be my outlet - now I've had to tackle it mentally, hard , very hard, but it's been rewarding I believe. Best of luck bother.

I see, that is definitely a different situation. I can understand how you used that outlet in unhealthy ways but also healthy ones. What plays in my mind involves a gun usually. I think guns are the only thing he's even kind of afraid of. His mom murdered his dad when he was 3 years old and though he has no emotion relating this, obviously "guns are bad" is somewhere in his mind (though he is obsessed with knives/swords). But I think since I was committed (72-hour psych hold) one time, I would not pass a background check anyway.

One thing that was funny with that hospital visit. The only other hospital I've been in had a specialized PTSD unit and homicidal ideation was pretty common. None of the doctors or therapists there flinched even if I told them I knew where he lived and would like to see his dead body. In this hospital, the doctor told me if I relayed even a specific person without detailed plans they had to do their best to contact this person. I got a laugh out of that, contact him and tell him I want to hurt him, what a fucked up society we live in where thoughts in my head are enough to warrant action from the police when they don't give two shits what he did and does every single day.

You and I will both be okay, I really do believe that somewhere. I have not quite learned how to enjoy life or be happy for being alive but I think I'm closer than I used to be.

And thanks izzy, I appreciate it. Certain times of year, I can identify with that. Especially the holidays, when all the "family" is together. Family, that's another word that is fucked up and dirty in my head.

 

[theartofwar]

I've been section 12 twice and I have my LTC , although I let it expire and got rid of all my guns - I don't need them if I don't live a life of trouble, which I do not anymore.

and thats boston bro - in florida i had a small arsenal when i lived there lol. My old roomate is convicted felon of 3 kilos and has his license lol. Florida is a drivers license away from a firearm - it's scary lax laws.

 

[lozgod]

Have you considered going to the press about this if the police and FBI aren't being helpful? This would make his face and name known to the public possibly protecting people from him and it might light a fire under law enforcement to do something. You were 15 and that is illegal in most states. Florida is pretty conservative. I am surprised they have been so nonchalant about it all.

I spent 4 years in prison. Their is a heirarchy in prison with cop killers being at the top and child molestors, rapists, and snitches being at the bottom. I seen one child molester sodomized with a broom stick that resulted in him needing life saving surgery, he survived which I think is a good thing because he has to live with that and he has a 55 year sentence (was sentenced in 1992) and there is no parole in Delaware for anyone sentenced after Spetember of 1989 so he will have to do at least 85% of that 55 years and will always have to look over his shoulder and live in constant fear. A fate worse than death IMO.

If you ever seen Boogie Nights with Mark Wahlberg at the end one of the porno employees was sent to prison and at the end they showed him with his mouth all bloody crying in the corner of his cell while his cell mate was sitting on his bunk with a big smile. That is the reality of sex offenders in prison. They spend their life in constant torture if they aren't killed. Another guy was on my pod in county jail and no one knew his charge. Inmates can get subscriptions to the news paper and on the front page was "Child Molester with 34 counts of unlawful sexual contact in court today" and he was on the front page. he didn't come out of his cell all day and when he finally did to eat he got a beat down from almost all 40 people on the pod that almost made me feel sorry for him. The response time to break up a fight is not rapid because the CO's have to lock down their pods/teirs before leaving it to go assist the other CO's. So he got a good 7-8 minute beat down. Doesn't sound like a long time but that's an eternity when you are getting your ass thoroughly kicked.

So try going to the press. They will protect your anonimity if you want them to so no one has to know you were a victim. They are obligated to. I would call some local newpapers or better yet local network affiliates because they can do the story in your hometown and the one he currently lives in and make it known to the public who he is and what he is about. You may save dozens of children from the same fate. This may be your calling and battle. You seem passionate about it. If you see this as a possible solution I got faith you will make every effort to try it. Go from a victim to a protector. That is a very powerful transition and will give you back some of the things he robbed from you.

If you need any help feel free to inbox me. I have many experiences with the press. In the city I live in violent crime and murder was hitting record numbers. Meanwhile you would go to a place called Grotto's Pizza in a safe quiet part of the city that really didn't need a heavy police presence but it was a hang out for on duty city police instead of patrolling the areas where people were being robbed, and shot on a daily basis. I took a bunch of pictures and sent them to the local paper and gave a description of what was going on, to my suprise it was a 3 day front page expose'. It felt good to make a difference. You don't see 20 cop cars at the pizza place anymore. You see them doing their job and patrolling the areas they don't want to be in. As a junkie it makes some of the copping areas hotter but I have a hatred for police so I did it to fuck up their laziness and maybe save some lives. The press will be all over your story.

Again inbox me if you need some guidence. You aren't getting the help you need so this is a way to take action in to your own hands without resorting to something that may cause you more problems.

This is actually my editorial that started the whole thing. After this I was contacted for more info and took the pics and the rest is history.

I was leaving the courthouse on 4th and King for a ticket one day recently. Drove up 2nd street. Passing 2nd and Van Buren seen some guy come running around the corner up 2nd street with no shirt. I knew what followed. Two heavier set guys that probably didnt have the aerobic aptitude of the first subject came jogging around the corner and about 4 foot from the nose of my car, stopped, pulled out guns, and fired IN BROAD DAY LIGHT up the crowded street at the first guy.

Two interesting observations here. NO ONE, not even myself was shook. No one ran, I just observed, its all another day in Wilmington. Born and raised Wilmington myself Im accustomed to street violence. We were the white boys in Wilmington back in the day on Lincoln Street. We banged a little. lol.

Observation 2. No police anywhere near by. (see end of story)

So after the second two gentlemen kindly go back about their business after unloading and missing anyone (probably from holding the guns sideways. lol) I went on about my business.

I was hungry. I went to Grottos Pizza. WHOA! Dont shoot anyone there! There had to be at least 20 uniformed police officers there.

Great job. I can get a slice in safety. TY WPD. TY!

 

[lasthurrah19]

Have you considered going to the press about this if the police and FBI aren't being helpful? This would make his face and name known to the public possibly protecting people from him and it might light a fire under law enforcement to do something. You were 15 and that is illegal in most states. Florida is pretty conservative. I am surprised they have been so nonchalant about it all.

I spent 4 years in prison. Their is a heirarchy in prison with cop killers being at the top and child molestors, rapists, and snitches being at the bottom. I seen one child molester sodomized with a broom stick that resulted in him needing life saving surgery, he survived which I think is a good thing because he has to live with that and he has a 55 year sentence (was sentenced in 1992) and there is no parole in Delaware for anyone sentenced after Spetember of 1989 so he will have to do at least 85% of that 55 years and will always have to look over his shoulder and live in constant fear. A fate worse than death IMO.

If you ever seen Boogie Nights with Mark Wahlberg at the end one of the porno employees was sent to prison and at the end they showed him with his mouth all bloody crying in the corner of his cell while his cell mate was sitting on his bunk with a big smile. That is the reality of sex offenders in prison. They spend their life in constant torture if they aren't killed. Another guy was on my pod in county jail and no one knew his charge. Inmates can get subscriptions to the news paper and on the front page was "Child Molester with 34 counts of unlawful sexual contact in court today" and he was on the front page. he didn't come out of his cell all day and when he finally did to eat he got a beat down from almost all 40 people on the pod that almost made me feel sorry for him. The response time to break up a fight is not rapid because the CO's have to lock down their pods/teirs before leaving it to go assist the other CO's. So he got a good 7-8 minute beat down. Doesn't sound like a long time but that's an eternity when you are getting your ass thoroughly kicked.

So try going to the press. They will protect your anonimity if you want them to so no one has to know you were a victim. They are obligated to. I would call some local newpapers or better yet local network affiliates because they can do the story in your hometown and the one he currently lives in and make it known to the public who he is and what he is about. You may save dozens of children from the same fate. This may be your calling and battle. You seem passionate about it. If you see this as a possible solution I got faith you will make every effort to try it. Go from a victim to a protector. That is a very powerful transition and will give you back some of the things he robbed from you.

If you need any help feel free to inbox me. I have many experiences with the press. In the city I live in violent crime and murder was hitting record numbers. Meanwhile you would go to a place called Grotto's Pizza in a safe quiet part of the city that really didn't need a heavy police presence but it was a hang out for on duty city police instead of patrolling the areas where people were being robbed, and shot on a daily basis. I took a bunch of pictures and sent them to the local paper and gave a description of what was going on, to my suprise it was a 3 day front page expose'. It felt good to make a difference. You don't see 20 cop cars at the pizza place anymore. You see them doing their job and patrolling the areas they don't want to be in. As a junkie it makes some of the copping areas hotter but I have a hatred for police so I did it to fuck up their laziness and maybe save some lives. The press will be all over your story.

Again inbox me if you need some guidence. You aren't getting the help you need so this is a way to take action in to your own hands without resorting to something that may cause you more problems.

Most of the time we did not live in Florida, but yes I believe it would mostly likely be tried in FL if it ever happens.

I will think about what you have said here. I don't see how the press could take anyone's account of things like this on face value and report based on that. I may be wrong but that doesn't seem very ethical. There's no picture or tangible proof I could give them, I mean I have some pictures with both of us but that doesn't really prove very much.

It's important for me to think about all of these options. If there truly is some way where I could anonymously get him scrutinized I'd be happy to do that. I am going to discuss this again with my therapist this week, maybe there is something that will get attention on him but not also cause me a lot of harm. In any case I'd have to be as ready as I could be as this could potentially go bad in numerous ways.

 

[lozgod]

Most of the time we did not live in Florida, but yes I believe it would mostly likely be tried in FL if it ever happens.

I will think about what you have said here. I don't see how the press could take anyone's account of things like this on face value and report based on that. I may be wrong but that doesn't seem very ethical. There's no picture or tangible proof I could give them, I mean I have some pictures with both of us but that doesn't really prove very much.

It's important for me to think about all of these options. If there truly is some way where I could anonymously get him scrutinized I'd be happy to do that. I am going to discuss this again with my therapist this week, maybe there is something that will get attention on him but not also cause me a lot of harm. In any case I'd have to be as ready as I could be as this could potentially go bad in numerous ways.

The good and bad thing about the press is their profit comes from sensationalism. Even if you were flat out lying the fear the story of an uncaged child molester on the street and beating attempts of law enforcement trying to stop him makes for a lot of sold papers or scary advertisements to watch the news. In this case you aren't lying. Really give it some thought. It could give you the feeling of control of your life again and the power to not be a victim and protect others at the same time.