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Returning member intro - Lotus123

Lotus123

Bluelighter
Joined
May 12, 2017
Messages
63
I originally joined this board back in 2017 after my friend asked me to join here in order to help people. He was a good guy who did alot of volunteer work and he knew that I had alot of experience with addiction, medicine and psycology. I am not actually a doctor or a qualified psycologist, I just know alot due to volunteering with extremely crazy people. I also had brief battles with addiciton (back then) which I had overcome which made me a good role model.

Fast forward many years and I've been having my own troubles with addiction again.

I have almost two years of sobriety from alcohol. I have much less sobriety with everything else. SWIM ( They did SWIM back in 2017 so I'll continue with it until told otherwise). SWIM did pretty much everything, especially stimulants. Along with mountains of anabolic steroids (SWIM was a member of a competitive bodybuilding federation that was not drugs tested). It is easier to say what SWIM has not done. Due to SWIM's fascination with medicine, SWIM sought out exotic chemicals and medicines to try them as part of learning more about them. It all spiralled up very quickly for SWIM.

I'm here because first I have to make sure I stay sober this time. I don't know why I stopped being sober, I feel foolish.

As with any addict, we are very resourceful. Unfortuantely for me, I am extremely intellectualy gifted (not bragging, it causes me plenty of worries about problems I shouldn't be thinking about) and I can always find a way to get what I want. There is no external control system which I can't find a way out of. Therefore my success depends solely on me not dropping the ball again. I'm hoping to learn about staying sober forever from people that know more about this than I do. I defer to your wisdom

Secondly, I hope to become the guy who helps other addicts again in future, rather than being the addict needing help. I'm hoping to learn more here to equip myself for the job. Then hopefully my purpose on this board will be what it was before; helping others rather than seeking help myself.

Thank you to anyone who read this
 
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