Just a rough risk assessment here people.
Apologies for long post.
I'm currently in a partially sucessful rehab prog.
2 main addictions-tramadol,benzos.
Benzo taper dropping 2mg every 2weeks from 20mg.....currently supposed to be at 14mg valium.....however I blew it by choice(rather than craving) for various reasons I will explain soon.
Also on 10mg subs (lucky) for a trammy/codeine(CWE!) habit.
Needless to say the subs piss all over the trammy 100% so in effect I think I have no developed a real opiate addiction.
Its incredibly plesant and operable.
Also,the subs made my benzo taper from a mere 20mg of of valium seem irrevelent.
My addiction of 3 years was.
12-16mg Klonopin
16mg Lorazepam
8mg xanax
1000mg tramadol
60mg ritalin along with my steroid cycle as I was a personal trainer and.....kindergarten teacher. Somehow I functioned.....actually excelled..due to my OCD and bodybuilding lifestyle,everything was timed and strict-junkie strict.
For reference
Anyhow.....although prescibed 10mg sub, I aim for 6mg and I am still in the prelimanary stage so I will be on 10mg for awhile so I plan to continue ( sucessfully) my benzo taper in 6 weeks which will finish on a oh so lovely 0mg in 4months
The next 6weeks are just going to be incrediblt testing,
Anyhow finally question time......due to some recent violent episodes -- I have -personality disorder(wtf)......I won't take APs, there is talk of mood stabilizers ( I am reading up).
Suffered from GAD and very dark suicidal depression in my 20s until the Anti-d mirtazpine saved me literally.
My rehab p-doc is different to my mental health doctor .
Currently back on the anti-d mirtazapine that might be upgraded with venlafaxine.
Anyhow been hitting the klonopin 2mg and some lorazepam 2.5mg, about 6mg klonopin roughly each day but obviously with the Subs am I risking it a bit at night, respiratory wise etc.
I am 40, fit....well bodybuilder -steroid fit but seriously, good diet ,CV fit, train regularly.
I am very experienced peformance enhancing drug user and upmoderate user of steroids ,stimulants also, I use epherdrine,yohimbe or ritalin.
Also the beta agonist stim clenbutrol used with the thyroid hormone T3 bodybuilding wise.
I dislike stims for their "buzz" due to being a x speed junkie but for use them for fat loss and performance but with the subs halflife (and/or) Klonopin the edge is taken off so stims again become very useful.
(I realise the mini speedball negatives)
My weight is currently climbing-planned.
The subs are a opiate oddity, I can be watching a movie in full junkie nod mod with clona potentiating them a lot then within 5min I can be up active,cooking then hitting the gym, being socialable,training with full intensity, get back and nod out again......which is very nice honestly.
The stims always burn out before the opiates/benzos.
I realise despite "rehab" which IS helping with group meetings and CBT from the mental health team and my eventual sobriety (unthinkable right now) that I am on a cocktail still right now.
By the way, no street drugs or alcohol.
Even the steroids I use, thyroid hormones and stims are genuine pharma not that that implies safety of course.
Also I am aware of mental implications,stims, steroids etc to save lectures- no offence.
My resting HR, BP etc are in check and I think my body is too pepped up for respiratory depression to take me out cold in my sleep but I have noticed as has my gf a very deep snorimg on my back yet I am not that heavy yet. Unlike me.
Seeing as the clona, subutex,mirtazapine,tramadol all cause CNS depression.....and theres no naxalone in subutex am I at any "night-nap" risk at all.
I tried to control my benzo intake but it quickly spiralled up but to nowhere near old abuse levels....I still get my "day" done - training as I am signed off sick,cooking etc training others though the urge to nod out all day is very strong I kind of meet it in the middle.
Feeling ready for work soon I think.
Confident about quitting benzos eventually but the future and subs to clean still scares me shitless,
Thanks in advance, again sorry for length.
Apologies for long post.
I'm currently in a partially sucessful rehab prog.
2 main addictions-tramadol,benzos.
Benzo taper dropping 2mg every 2weeks from 20mg.....currently supposed to be at 14mg valium.....however I blew it by choice(rather than craving) for various reasons I will explain soon.
Also on 10mg subs (lucky) for a trammy/codeine(CWE!) habit.
Needless to say the subs piss all over the trammy 100% so in effect I think I have no developed a real opiate addiction.
Its incredibly plesant and operable.
Also,the subs made my benzo taper from a mere 20mg of of valium seem irrevelent.
My addiction of 3 years was.
12-16mg Klonopin
16mg Lorazepam
8mg xanax
1000mg tramadol
60mg ritalin along with my steroid cycle as I was a personal trainer and.....kindergarten teacher. Somehow I functioned.....actually excelled..due to my OCD and bodybuilding lifestyle,everything was timed and strict-junkie strict.
For reference
Anyhow.....although prescibed 10mg sub, I aim for 6mg and I am still in the prelimanary stage so I will be on 10mg for awhile so I plan to continue ( sucessfully) my benzo taper in 6 weeks which will finish on a oh so lovely 0mg in 4months
The next 6weeks are just going to be incrediblt testing,
Anyhow finally question time......due to some recent violent episodes -- I have -personality disorder(wtf)......I won't take APs, there is talk of mood stabilizers ( I am reading up).
Suffered from GAD and very dark suicidal depression in my 20s until the Anti-d mirtazpine saved me literally.
My rehab p-doc is different to my mental health doctor .
Currently back on the anti-d mirtazapine that might be upgraded with venlafaxine.
Anyhow been hitting the klonopin 2mg and some lorazepam 2.5mg, about 6mg klonopin roughly each day but obviously with the Subs am I risking it a bit at night, respiratory wise etc.
I am 40, fit....well bodybuilder -steroid fit but seriously, good diet ,CV fit, train regularly.
I am very experienced peformance enhancing drug user and upmoderate user of steroids ,stimulants also, I use epherdrine,yohimbe or ritalin.
Also the beta agonist stim clenbutrol used with the thyroid hormone T3 bodybuilding wise.
I dislike stims for their "buzz" due to being a x speed junkie but for use them for fat loss and performance but with the subs halflife (and/or) Klonopin the edge is taken off so stims again become very useful.
(I realise the mini speedball negatives)
My weight is currently climbing-planned.
The subs are a opiate oddity, I can be watching a movie in full junkie nod mod with clona potentiating them a lot then within 5min I can be up active,cooking then hitting the gym, being socialable,training with full intensity, get back and nod out again......which is very nice honestly.
The stims always burn out before the opiates/benzos.
I realise despite "rehab" which IS helping with group meetings and CBT from the mental health team and my eventual sobriety (unthinkable right now) that I am on a cocktail still right now.
By the way, no street drugs or alcohol.
Even the steroids I use, thyroid hormones and stims are genuine pharma not that that implies safety of course.
Also I am aware of mental implications,stims, steroids etc to save lectures- no offence.
My resting HR, BP etc are in check and I think my body is too pepped up for respiratory depression to take me out cold in my sleep but I have noticed as has my gf a very deep snorimg on my back yet I am not that heavy yet. Unlike me.
Seeing as the clona, subutex,mirtazapine,tramadol all cause CNS depression.....and theres no naxalone in subutex am I at any "night-nap" risk at all.
I tried to control my benzo intake but it quickly spiralled up but to nowhere near old abuse levels....I still get my "day" done - training as I am signed off sick,cooking etc training others though the urge to nod out all day is very strong I kind of meet it in the middle.
Feeling ready for work soon I think.
Confident about quitting benzos eventually but the future and subs to clean still scares me shitless,
Thanks in advance, again sorry for length.