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Resentment and Aggression

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
1,256
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Let's start with some layman definitions

Resentment:
noun: resentment; plural noun: resentments
1. bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.

Aggression:
noun: aggression
1. feelings of anger or antipathy resulting in hostile or violent behaviour; readiness to attack or confront.


I find these to be both crippling and detrimental to my self, and I have noticed them to be detrimental to the recovery of any recovering drug abuser I have known (I have no qualms about making that deduction, because they exist, period)

I think it would be helpful for bluelighters to find some behaviour/communication in their life that they think fits into either of these categories. It may be that your family shows some aggressive resentment towards you (like in my case) and then get upset about it. Perhaps it would be better to talk it out.

I just decided to throw this out there, in the hope it will help someone.
 
My Mum: You are a disgrace, you have wasted your life. You are a burden to our family.

Me: You are being angry and resentful about past mistakes.

Apparently I am still in the wrong.
 
I resented my brother the past couple days for being aggressive towards me when he is stressed out and wants to put me down

I said I won't work with him again, and I am sure he is a sociopath, should i just not work with him anymore because he cannot express genuine empathy and treats me like shit when im doing him a huge favours and i resent that.

I was thinking of saying "if you work on treating me with the respect I show you then I am okay to work with you", but I don't think he will change, should i give him a chance (he is like 39, i'm 20 and he is part of the male un-emotional, very short and unstable relationships with females, get rich fast generation)

sorry i dont want to derail the thread but its just a small question related to the topic

for your issues i would recommend regular mindfulness meditation practice to be at peace with yourself, it is kind of like a body cleanser you would use in the shower to get rid of all the shit on your pores that builds up during the day, but for your mind

do you live with your parents? if not (even if so i guess) you can make it clear your an adult and are ready to make your own decisions in life and that part of a good way for responsible parents to show love for their child is letting go of their dreams for you because you are in control of your own life and they cant change you in any way.

i can relate a lot to toxic people making it really hard to stay sober, but dont give them the power man, you are ultimately in control and they dont deserve any effort spent on hatred which hurts you mostly, ive been thinking about people that are big annoyances to me as challenges that i can use to improve my patience and character, everything can be turned into a positive :)
 
I would tell them that engineering isn't for you and that you plan on moving to a third world country with good surfing and are going to open a bar. Oh wait thats what I'm going to do.. though it will be a ski hill and a burrito stand or something chill like that=D
 
^ Umm did you say skiing and burritos, Charlie? Count me in!
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I have a lot of resentment and aggression in my life toward a certain number of people, but I'm trying to let go if it. It is NOT easy that's for sure. Nor is it healthy. I have to learn how to let things go, or else I'm going to be eaten up by this everyday of my life and it's not something that I want to happen.
 
I have a lot of resentment towards my coworker and I am trying my best to just be more patient and not take work personally. We have been ok for the past months so I am hoping that we will continue our professional relationship. Next year will be a different ball game as two of my coworkers are pregnant and both of them are supervisors and I have to take over, so I am hoping that she will cooperate with me.
 
I also carry some resentment towards people that called me names like "junkie" when I was an dependent on opiates. I have had to restrain myself and not react in those situations (although there have been times when I was aggressive back to them), but I did and still do carry some ill feelings towards these people, who I think are hypocritical as many of them are cocaine users, alcoholics, and binge drinkers. I have had to overcome this issue to get through my studies. Now that I am finished my studies I can address my ill feelings towards them and to forgive. I will not react in any other situation, regardless of the fact that they are hypocrites and that I am no longer dependent on opiates.


Another example is this afternooon when I got home:

my father: "You are hopeless. You have to get your shit together".

Me: (I said something along these lines) "That is not helpful. Can we please be rational and not aggressive towards one another. I know you feel some resentment towards me because of things I have done, and I am sorry for anything I have done in the past. Right now I just need us to communicate in an effective manner..."
 
The reason people put other people down is to try and assure themselves they are better.. I know a whole shit load of people.. and I know very few who are capable of surfing and completing a engineering degree, not to mention the ladies.. but really my opinion really means nothing, no it it really does.. the only person you need to prove anything to is you... you need to stop listening to the judgmental idiots.. and learn to follow your heart.. your already the shit.. now all you need to do is believe it.
 
neversickanymore said:
The reason people put other people down is to try and assure themselves they are better.. I know a whole shit load of people.. and I know very few who are capable of surfing and completing a engineering degree, not to mention the ladies.. but really my opinion really means nothing, no it it really does.. the only person you need to prove anything to is you... you need to stop listening to the judgmental idiots.. and learn to follow your heart.. your already the shit.. now all you need to do is believe it.
Click to expand...
You, my friend, just made my day. Thanks, and I will do my best to believe it, as hard as it is. I am my own worst critic, that is I can put myself down until the cows come home. I don't need others to do that for me.

You, it seems to me, are wiser than the majority of wise. You, my friend, are a good person and you deserve everything good that comes your way.

May we both be happy, may our hearts be fulfilled, may we be what we consider as successful, and may we contribute to make the world a better place. I do, with my heart, believe we both want to make the world a better place. Let's do it.

Thanks again for the positive sentiments, mate :)
 
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