Resenting Psychs

[medical_meccanica]

I feel lately like the one reason I regret my use of LSD is that it gave me again and again such a sense of meaning and happiness while dealing with issues that are larger than my own life. Like the inevitability of change in the universe and just my small place in the cosmos in general.

I feel now like there is no sober way to achieve that same sense of meaning or clarity or satisfaction while thinking of these concepts. It is something that logic cannot help with, and religious groups don't seem to deal with anymore. It seems that this is how psychedelic drugs can become psychologically addictive, wanting to always be aware of that 'answer.' I think a few of my friends are really struggling with that at the moment. I've stopped taking drugs for a while at least.

It's just how I feel right now, does anyone else ever have regret or resentment of their psychedelic drug use because they realise they can only ever achieve this sense of cosmic contentment while loaded?

Just wondering

 

[ChronicHD]

I have been craving LSD lately just because I know what it can make me feel and how it can open my mind. I literally think about it all day every day. I know psychs aren't physically addictive, but I would say that right now I'm about as psychologically addicted as possible. I know that once final exam week is over, I will more than fulfill my thirst for psychs. But as of right now, when I need to buckle down and stay sober so I can study, I am having a tough time.

 

[Xorkoth]

I find that I am able to achieve that state momentarily at various times, usually while outside in nature. And while discussing those kinds of concepts. I value psychedelic drugs for opening me up to those experiences in the first place, and for every so often being able to still take me there.

 

[MescalitoBandito]

I usually only really enjoy tripping in certain situations, so I don't find it all that fun alone or in uncomfortable social situations.

I just love talking philosophy on psychs. If I can't do it, it gets frustrating.

 

[atara]

With a bit of luck, your life is ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of your favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things you'll never know.

(with apologies to Hunter S Thompson)

 

[!sampson!]

I have been craving LSD lately just because I know what it can make me feel and how it can open my mind. I literally think about it all day every day. I know psychs aren't physically addictive, but I would say that right now I'm about as psychologically addicted as possible. I know that once final exam week is over, I will more than fulfill my thirst for psychs. But as of right now, when I need to buckle down and stay sober so I can study, I am having a tough time.

same exactly

 

[medical_meccanica]

^^^ Yep, I was in the exact same situation. The thing that started niggling at me was that it seems like such a larger scaled version of 'living for the weekend.' When I realised that I really want to be satisfied with how I've spent most of the time in my life, taking psychs started seeming like a bad thing because it made the rest of life seem dull in comparison. My lifestyle is not suited to taking drugs all the time and I really don't want to keep doing that, however I don't want my everyday life to never compare to the ultimately profound feelings I've had on psychs.

Also meaningful events or revelations when sober started to be linked back to drug-taking even when I didn't think it was necessarily the cause. It bothers me that if something really meaningful or significant were to happen in my life now then it would be all too easy to relate it back to my use of LSD. A very crude and probably impossible example is if I was to have a sober vision of something extraordinary and with meaning attached, I would like to think that I would be able to take it for what it was and see value in that, but I know that realistically I would relate it to having been twisted in the past, either in regards to HPPD or just a memory of a particular trip. I might think "oh, I'm so glad I took psychedelic drugs so that I can now think this way" instead of "oh, that was a really profound thing to have happen!"

I find that I am able to achieve that state momentarily at various times, usually while outside in nature. And while discussing those kinds of concepts. I value psychedelic drugs for opening me up to those experiences in the first place, and for every so often being able to still take me there.

Do you think it would have been impossible to have those kind of sober cosmic feelings without first being 'unlocked' (for want of a better word) with psychedelic drugs?

Do you think you are now able to permanently think and feel in a different way about your place in the universe because of having had at least one profound psychedelic experience? Would you be able to continue these thoughts and feelings with no future use of psychs?

 

[ford442]

i never regret acid for the good times - i only slightly regret having taken it at wrong times when i had painful emotional experiences with it.. though i cannot recreate the realizations, i know they are with me and the good memories will never completely fade..

 

[Kaputa]

I definitely get the feeling you describe from psychedelics, meccanica, but I don't think they're the only way to achieve that feeling. Philosophical discourse with other like minded (or at least, open minded) people is another way to search for the 'answer' you speak of, as is solitary meditation or contemplation. It's not the same as taking a few tabs of acid and continually realizing the secret to the universe for six hours, I'll admit. But other means of searching for meaning in existence can be equally powerful and satisfying.

 

[Listening]

I feel what you're saying and I've worried about it myself. However, I've mostly gotten past it and don't think it'll be an issue in the future.

I think part of the issue can be alleviated with less frequent tripping. You need to allow yourself to come fully back to reality and integrate the wonders of what you saw and learned with the so-called dullness of everyday life. On the flip side, chasing after the psychedelic euphoria can hurt you in exactly the way you're describing. All psychedelic users love that psychedelic feeling, but it sounds like you are using it now as an escape from that "real-life" feeling, which I think can lead to the spiral of psychological dependence.

You can get that same profound psychedelic feeling whilst sober btw, but you certainly can't get it "on-demand". Instead, you need to enrich yourself and your universe through reading (try some good books on philosophy or self-improvement), and experiencing. Be present at every opportunity (practice mindfulness) and don't "wait" for the moment of enlightenment or you'll only prolong the wait. Living in this way requires patience, tolerance of boredom and other sufferings of the real world, but your reward is self-actualization and satisfaction with your life.

I think your choice of stopping to take drugs for a while is a good one. If and when you're ready to try again, you'll know it.

 

[Raw Evil]

I feel lately like the one reason I regret my use of LSD is that it gave me again and again such a sense of meaning and happiness while dealing with issues that are larger than my own life. Like the inevitability of change in the universe and just my small place in the cosmos in general.

Too much psychedelic use in a short time once led me into a toxic headspace where all the world seemed like a rat cage, in which I was trapped. The inescapable dread I felt made me quite depressed for some time. It faded as I spaced my psychs further apart.

You can get that same profound psychedelic feeling whilst sober btw, but you certainly can't get it "on-demand". Instead, you need to enrich yourself and your universe through reading (try some good books on philosophy or self-improvement), and experiencing. Be present at every opportunity (practice mindfulness) and don't "wait" for the moment of enlightenment or you'll only prolong the wait. Living in this way requires patience, tolerance of boredom and other sufferings of the real world, but your reward is self-actualization and satisfaction with your life.

For sure. I trip a lot less than I used to, mainly because of circumstance (fewer opportunities present themselves these days - or is it that I see fewer occasions as opportunities nowadays? ). However, my "psychedelic progress" as I just then chose to label it, has been steadily progressing.

Over the last few years I've considered myself interested in philosophy, but it has only really been the last 11 months or so that I've discovered myself spiritually. By this of course I don't mean to imply anything supernatural or the like, but simply the course of improving my own happiness and well-being through action and thought. It takes a lot of effort, and you have to really, truly want it from the core of your soul, but it's worth every iota of effort you put in.

That said, of course, I don't consider myself "enlightened". Not yet. But I am, albeit slowly, waking up. And every moment of wakefulness I experience is that little bit more enriching.

Things that have helped me:

• Books (Huxley, Robert Anton Wilson, Leary, amongst others) - Some fiction, some non. If you're going to read fiction, make it something either deeply meaningful or completely absurd.
• Mindfulness - The "being here now" thing. Find little things you do frequently throughout the day and just slow down and enjoy them. I take an extra 20 sec soaping my hands every time I wash them, and relish the feeling of my hands rubbing together, the slipperiness of the soap, the pressure applied from each finger, and so on. Whenever you find yourself standing in sunlight, close your eyes, breathe in and stretch out your arms. Don't rush when you don't need to.
• Gratitude - You don't need to believe in a creator to be thankful for what you have. Thank the universe. Thank other people. Thank yourself for the perception you have of today.
• Music - I love music. I listen to it whenever headphones or a sound system are nearby (which, in my life, is rather often - being the way I have chosen ). Downtempo music can calm, upbeat music can enrich, passionate music can spark the fire of your soul! Regardless of mood, I find it helps me concentrate on whatever task might be at hand.
• Having a long-term goal - It doesn't have to be anything that takes a lot of time out of your day, but having a long-term project or goal can help you to feel like your life has purpose. That one little thing can anchor you to the present when you feel lost. I recently bought a San Pedro cactus, and will over the next few years be growing this beauty into something amazing. So far, having it has been a good experience

I hope that showing you my path can help you decide where to lead yours in the future. Be well.

 

[Xorkoth]

Do you think it would have been impossible to have those kind of sober cosmic feelings without first being 'unlocked' (for want of a better word) with psychedelic drugs?

Do you think you are now able to permanently think and feel in a different way about your place in the universe because of having had at least one profound psychedelic experience? Would you be able to continue these thoughts and feelings with no future use of psychs?

Well, I don't know if it would have been possible... perhaps it would have happened anyway, but as things stand, it was my first mushroom trip when I was 18 that opened up my own spirituality to me. Before that I was raised Christian, had come to feel it was all wrong, and had become atheist, in the sense that I believed in nothing. My family is Christian but they would have been coming at it the wrong way, and my friends were all the same as me. So, I'm not sure how I would have unlocked what I did with mushrooms without them, but it could have happened at some point.

And yes, I do believe I will permanently be able to continue these thoughts and feelings without psychedelics. It's a part of my belief structure. People can have, say, a near-death experience and completely alter their view of spirituality, and continue on with that their whole lives without nearly dying again. It's the same kind of thing. I am 100% confident that my core beliefs and understanding of the universe are here to stay, aside from further evolution.

 

[ChronicHD]

[*]Mindfulness - The "being here now" thing. Find little things you do frequently throughout the day and just slow down and enjoy them. I take an extra 20 sec soaping my hands every time I wash them, and relish the feeling of my hands rubbing together, the slipperiness of the soap, the pressure applied from each finger, and so on. Whenever you find yourself standing in sunlight, close your eyes, breathe in and stretch out your arms. Don't rush when you don't need to.
[*]Gratitude - You don't need to believe in a creator to be thankful for what you have. Thank the universe. Thank other people. Thank yourself for the perception you have of today.

Fantastic advice.

 

[Listening]

And yes, I do believe I will permanently be able to continue these thoughts and feelings without psychedelics. It's a part of my belief structure. People can have, say, a near-death experience and completely alter their view of spirituality, and continue on with that their whole lives without nearly dying again. It's the same kind of thing. I am 100% confident that my core beliefs and understanding of the universe are here to stay, aside from further evolution.

I often hear people saying things like that the "enlightenment" from psychedelics is temporary. Ignoring the loaded nature of the word enlightenment, I think that this idea that psychedelic experiences are sort of flitty is only true if you're not fully integrating the experience into your real, sober, life. By integrating I don't mean believing. I mean finding a true, honest understanding of what you experienced in the context of the real world.

Like Xorkoth, I feel that I've been permanently changed in the same way that all of my meaningful life experiences (starting well before trying psychedelics) have permanently changed me. They have affected me because I have been honest with myself about them and not tried to make them fit into the mold of "how I think things should be."

OP: Do not worship your psychedelic experiences or you will not learn as much from them as you could. They are experiences, and they are no more true than any other mindfully-appreciated life experience. Your current sense of the dullness of the world is telling you something, even if it's not what you want to hear. The path of salvation from the tedium of real life includes the acceptance of the tedium of real life. It's a tough pill to swallow, but the high is worth it.

 

[malakaix]

The key here is to integrate those experience's into your everyday life.. Raw Evil has some excellent advice.

I still remember the first time i broke through on DMT, it completley transformed me spiritually.. words cannot even describe the wonderland of infinite divine consciousness i found myself encompassed within, but after it the entire world seemed so very bland and 'regular'. It took me 6 months to fully integrate that single experience into my life where i could peacefully accept my world and find love and beauty in it.

It's just how I feel right now, does anyone else ever have regret or resentment of their psychedelic drug use because they realise they can only ever achieve this sense of cosmic contentment while loaded?

You can achieve the same sense of 'cosmic contentment' through meditation. And it can be just as intense mentally and physically.

 

[Divine Moments]

Over the last few years I've considered myself interested in philosophy, but it has only really been the last 11 months or so that I've discovered myself spiritually. By this of course I don't mean to imply anything supernatural or the like, but simply the course of improving my own happiness and well-being through action and thought. It takes a lot of effort, and you have to really, truly want it from the core of your soul, but it's worth every iota of effort you put in.

That said, of course, I don't consider myself "enlightened". Not yet. But I am, albeit slowly, waking up. And every moment of wakefulness I experience is that little bit more enriching.

Things that have helped me:

• Books (Huxley, Robert Anton Wilson, Leary, amongst others) - Some fiction, some non. If you're going to read fiction, make it something either deeply meaningful or completely absurd.
• Mindfulness - The "being here now" thing. Find little things you do frequently throughout the day and just slow down and enjoy them. I take an extra 20 sec soaping my hands every time I wash them, and relish the feeling of my hands rubbing together, the slipperiness of the soap, the pressure applied from each finger, and so on. Whenever you find yourself standing in sunlight, close your eyes, breathe in and stretch out your arms. Don't rush when you don't need to.
• Gratitude - You don't need to believe in a creator to be thankful for what you have. Thank the universe. Thank other people. Thank yourself for the perception you have of today.
• Music - I love music. I listen to it whenever headphones or a sound system are nearby (which, in my life, is rather often - being the way I have chosen ). Downtempo music can calm, upbeat music can enrich, passionate music can spark the fire of your soul! Regardless of mood, I find it helps me concentrate on whatever task might be at hand.
• Having a long-term goal - It doesn't have to be anything that takes a lot of time out of your day, but having a long-term project or goal can help you to feel like your life has purpose. That one little thing can anchor you to the present when you feel lost. I recently bought a San Pedro cactus, and will over the next few years be growing this beauty into something amazing. So far, having it has been a good experience

I hope that showing you my path can help you decide where to lead yours in the future. Be well.

Excellent post

I would also add meditation to that list. Sure it takes some time and effort to do it regularly and learn effective techniques, but the rewards can be amazing if you stick to it. It is the (other) classic pathway to enlightenment.

 

[Xorkoth]

The key here is to integrate those experience's into your everyday life.. Raw Evil has some excellent advice.

I still remember the first time i broke through on DMT, it completley transformed me spiritually.. words cannot even describe the wonderland of infinite divine consciousness i found myself encompassed within, but after it the entire world seemed so very bland and 'regular'. It took me 6 months to fully integrate that single experience into my life where i could peacefully accept my world and find love and beauty in it.

Yeah, I should mention, after my first trip, my "awakening", it was a long process to arrive completely at peace with it. For a while I was riding the wave of bliss, and then as life became harder (I was 18, and 19-21 were pretty rough in many ways), I started feeling like I wished I had never had the experience, as it seemed like it was easier to be satisfied in life blind to the bigger picture like so many others were. But then I came to terms with it and it brings my life so much richness and beauty.

 

[telepathetic]

You have two choices you can make right now, and I'm pretty sure you should make it now:
1. Continue exploring with psychedelics and realize the truth behind psychedelics, the guided force behind them. How it is ONLY psychedelics that can bring you there, and you can enter the spiritual realm. Release yourself from thoughts like:

I might think "oh, I'm so glad I took psychedelic drugs so that I can now think this way" instead of "oh, that was a really profound thing to have happen!"

It does not matter, you know how you stop having bias on other peopel? Stop judgeing your own thoughts. Maybe you have a self confidence problem?
and

Do you think it would have been impossible to have those kind of sober cosmic feelings without first being 'unlocked' (for want of a better word) with psychedelic drugs?

Why does it matter? Isn't whats important that you are having cosmic feelings and not the fact that you took drugs or didn't take drugs. I'd guess you grew up in a background biased from drugs.

-end option 1-

2. Realize that psychedelics are a great tool, how to avoid that hippy-shit-think up there, and use them accordingly, like a scientist or a researcher, just watching or analyzing.

-end option 2-

3. Realize that psychedelics are just another addiction, used by the weird personalities. That wanting knowledge is just another justification. That its just another high, with eyecandy, psuedo-deep thought. Your just another junky.

-end option 3-


Sorry if I am just a bit rambly, I am just a bit stoned :D:D:D
But the point is, your meaning and revelation is up to you

 

[blode]

I will never regret Acid. The things it's opened me up to are incredible, whenever I was going through tough times I would take acid and it would just clear my head, put my mind at ease.
I don't understand how people can get addicted to Acid though because after a while of taking it for too long it gets almost boring and tiresome. Sometimes I just feel like I want to switch off from the constant life changing revelations.

 

[psood0nym]

I know what you're getting at, but resenting psychedelics seems silly and counterproductive when I think about it. For example, there are all sorts of things we can do while we're younger that we won't be able to do when we're older (and psychedelics areN'T one of those). It's hard for me to imagine that when I'm older I'll wish I had spent my life in a vegetative state so that sitting in my wheelchair playing bingo seems exhilarating by comparison. I don't think it's really that different when you still have most of your life in front of you, it just seems that way.

The average age of participants in the 2006 John Hopkins psilocybin study was around 45 years old. They were all first-time psychedelics users interested in spiritual experiences, and the large majority rated their trip as in the top five most spiritually significant events of their lives, with, I believe, around 1/3 rating it as the most significant experience of their lives. The group included mothers, some of whom compared the experience, in terms of personal significance, to the birth of their first child.

So yes, for many of us our psychedelic experiences are likely to be some of the greatest in our lives (and they don't have to end when we're young). But think of the alternative.

I read an interview excerpt with one of the study participants in some Canadian paper, and in it she almost seemed resentful of having lived a normal life for so long, and only now, in late middle age, having awakened to the reality that psilocybin showed her. If you've experienced something profound and transformative with psychedelics your life is already probably better than it would've been otherwise.