representation of a migraine in a painting

I've always wanted to learn to draw and paint. Living in a city that has a rich artistic tradition, I could no longer resist. I recently started taking art lessons from an artist friend and trying to learn on my own too. I practiced drawing for several months, and then tried a few paintings.

I suffer from frequent migraines. One phenomenon taht often accompanies a migraine is a visual aura. An aura is a visual effect caused by the migraine. The migraine aura I see looks like the golden auras surrounding holy figures in medieval religious paintings.

Living things and many inanimate objects have them during a migraine. The aura around a flower is fairly simple. It's just a halo. The halo has several components. First, there is a clear area directly surrounding the flower taht matches its contours perfectly. It looks kind of like a transparent skin. Next, there is a violet/ultraviolet aura that extends a little farther in space. Finally, there are jagged rays and wisps of nacreous lines. They are often animated. And in the empty air and surrounding everything is an ocean of phosphenes. On a sunny day, it looks like fools gold or mica suspended in water when the sun strikes the tiny gold and iridescent particles. *

An interestign thing about the migraine aura is that it resembles the entoptic phenomena experienced while under the influence of psychedelic drugs. There are geometric patterns from primitive shapes to animated three dimensional fractals that are so complicated, not even an army of CGI artists could create them. There are alsio iconic images like animals, plants, landscapes, and people. It also has some things in common with paleolithic art and the shamanic art of some cultures like the San and Coso.

If I'm going to do art, I want to do something original or else it's a waste of time. I want to express an aspect of something nobody else has ever painted before. I would also like to study the migraine aura. So this is what I have been working on.

I had to read a book about color theory, buy my own pigments, grind them, and mix up my own paint to create some of the effects. I've painted three paintings in my entire life so far. This is my third. I waited until I had a migraine, packed my painting kit, went to the nearest botanical park, and found a tall flower against a plain background with a clearly visible aura. I painted it in between vomiting. I was lucky the guards didn't see me and throw me out for looking like a drunk. the painting still sucks, and I ruined the background, but I'm still a beginner. Also, this one isn't finished. Mostly, I'm still trying to work out the background and fix the aura so it doesn't look so jarring.

Here it is:

I read the George Bush took up painting a few years ago. He hired a celebrity art teacher to give him lessons in Palm Beach, and as a result has produced a large number of pieces. His art is displayed in galleries and constantly shown on television. It sells for a lot of money, I'm sure. If he can do it, I thought I might have a chance. Seeing what he did not only helped motivate me to start, but his art helped me to not feel ashamed of showing something I did, no matter how bad it is.

 

i sorta get the feeling Bush is doing it to stave off dementia, i remember seeing a video comparing one of his speeches in the 70s or 80s to a post-9/11 speech and the difference was incredible.

fwiw your painting is remarkable, and i hope you don't let this thought limit your experience:

I want to do something original or else it's a waste of time.

often the greatest originality comes from artists/professionals that are prolific, whereas people obsessed with originality may end up cutting their potential short, especially if they produce something amazing and then worry that they can't surpass it with something even more amazing on the next attempt. often consistency beats out originality, especially in the contemporary world where we consume culture at such an astounding pace.

 

Thanks Thujone. My first impression of Bush's art was similar to yours - that it is the product of a diseased mind, seriously. It is hard to believe that somebody so educated and who has spent his life surrounded by fine art and culture due to his wealth could create such things. I'm interested in outsider art and art created by people with mental illness, dementia, and other brain damage. I can also say that because I painted when I was sick and hallucinating from the migraine.

I will try not to obsess over being original. Instead I want to develop thei m graine theme. Just to paint realistic objects and scenes as they are transformed by the migraine. AND to represent it in a way that is harmonious and beautiful.

 

are you familiar with Louis Wain? he loved to paint cats and started out drawing cute, anthropomorphic cats and as his schizophrenic condition worsened the cats took on a more expressionist vibe. some of the more abstract ones are kind of terrifying

 

I didn't know about Louis Wain, but I believe I have the same migraines he had. I'm pretty sure I'm not schizophrenic, but I believe my mother was,and she actively hallucinated. I have seen similar entoptic imagery to what he painted since I was a little kid. I see some of the motifs and geometric patterns. I want to paint them, but I have different ideas for doing it. The bottom figure is how it looks with eyes closed. A photorealistic image forms, and then it morphs into wild colors and geometric patterns. The figure on the top is similar to how it looks with eyes open, fairly normal but with halos, but it is more subtle and does not take over the visual field.