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relationships

mrflowers00

mrflowers00

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
3,693
Location
santa rosa, CA
i can pretty easily meet a girl and with in 15 minuets have he dragging me by the hand to go fuck in some random spot with less people around which baffels me cause i'm not good looking not bad looking either just an average dude but i wonder why my flirting always turns to sex i'm so lonely
 
You know, some girls are out for a random fuck and not a meaningful relationship.
Just keep meeting people, maybe you're looking in the wrong places.
The biggest fundamental contributor is being you're ready/able to love/bond, even bigger than the other fundamental which is having someone to love.
 
Ugh I agree. I can always find someone to have sex with but relationships are so much more difficult. It's so frustrating.
 
I gaurantee its easier for a chick to get laid than a guy. But i understand you OP. I was the same way. Look at your non verbal queus along with how you say things. If youre using a lot of innuendos, touchy flirting, etc it will lead to those types of encounters. At least it did for me. Try looking in different places. Parties, clubs, etc i found more "DTF" girls than ones id take home to show my folks. Work, school, or casual public outings such as at the park tend to strike up better luck. Also time of day matters too. Night time is kind of like "sex time" if you think about it. Just some things from my experiences as a recovering man whore.
 
thanks i just wanted to know why i'm still gonna prowl at night lookin for tail cause i'm only 23 so i don't see the need for a long term relationship
 
mrflowers00 said:
thanks i just wanted to know why i'm still gonna prowl at night lookin for tail cause i'm only 23 so i don't see the need for a long term relationship
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you make no sense..you start the thread saying your lonely and are sick of girls just wanting to have sex, then you go and say 'thanks for the advice but im still gonna chase tail, dont see the need for a long term relationship'
Confusing 8(
 
no i just wanted advice on how to find a girl to have a relationship with (that isn't ape shit crazy) for later in life right now i'm good with just gettin laid
 
We all go through periods of being promiscuous until you realise that meaningless sex is empty and pretty soul destroying for me. I agree with above poster that girls sometimes just want to have some 'fun' as well, no strings attached. Being good at getting laid isn't a bad thing but I see what you mean. You want something more meaningful. I was lucky the girl I'm with the relationship developed slowly while we were working together. There was always a bit of sexual tension and we used to argue all the time, now I know why. I wouldn't recommend dating someone you work with, I started dating my girl literally the day she left the company.

How about when you meet a girl open to her, not the usual bullshit lines that it sounds like you're a master of! I mean tell her something about yourself that's private and maybe shows your sensitive side. If a girl responds to that (and they generally do IME) you'll be set. Don't go crazy and tell her stuff like the time you shat yourself at school or anything like that but a bit of personal tragedy or something. Also make it clear that you want something more out of the relationship. Maybe the girls you've been with thought 'Well he got what he wanted, that's it I suppose.' Level with a girl that you've had enough bed hopping and looking for something real. They might freak out but they might be relieved. Also a night out in a bar or club is fine but why don't you see if she likes doing siimilar things to you (theatre, gigs and exhibitions in my case) then you have something aside from your baser urges. Just a thought, believe me I'm no expert in relationships had two engagements broken off (one broke my heart the other was a relief tbh) but hope that's some food for thought.
 
Just read Mrflowers later posts. Well put the above in the bank for a later date. I was involved in a serious relationship when i was 23, doesn't mean you have to get married but if you have no experience of a serious relationship until you think its time for one, how the hell are you going to manage that? Not every relationship I've had was going to last forever but I still treat her and myself with respect. As a Muslim friend enjoys telling me 'If you live like a dog, you'll die like one!' Bit harsh but he's a funny guy and what he's saying is that baser urges are animalistic, we're all hopefully sophisiticated human beings and should act one (not that I haven't engaged in dubious sexual activity over the years but that remains in the vault for now!)
 
i have been in three serious relationships 2 only lasted about 6months but the last one went on for over 4 years so to keep me happy i have sex with strangers and when i feel i'm ready i want so tips on how to meet a woman that isn't gonna be a total bitch or super crazy most of the time i can deal with bitchiness and craziness but not all the time
 
I hear you. I was with some crazy American woman for a while. She wanted to get married so should could stay in the country and although she was stunning she was mental! She ring me at 4am drunk out of her mind wanting to see me. I'd rush round and get rid of all the booze (she was an alcoholic) and then she started physically assaulting me demanding that I get her more alcohol. Her mum used to skype me and tell me to please stay with her but I couldn't. Can't give you tips on how not to end up with a lunatic buddy, get to know her I suppose. I knew Adrienne was an alcoholic so was I, difference was that I stopped, she couldn't.

But man what a body! She used to model and the things I put up with because she was stunning are really embarrassing (cheated on me loads 'oh I was drunk!' and numerous verbal assaults of a vile nature). Ended up having to change my phone number and bar her from my email account. Had to do that again recently (block emails) due to the unwanted attention of a deeply troubled person that I had tried to help but was a complete maniac although this wasn't a relationship just an example of me ignoring my friends warnings about getting involved with headcases! Good luck and happy hunting!
 
Turning this back to original question now...

I agree that for girls it's much easier to find meaningless sex, it is harder (no pun intended) for men so can you blame the guy for accepting all the free sex coming his way? You'll never know when will be the next time:P

But in all seriousness I have observed that we are magnets and we tend to go for the same type. And if it is The Crazy Ones... you will ALWAYS end up with one unless you know what draws you to them (and resolve that issue).

And for me has always worked one trick - the moment I stop searching it arrives. It works with lighters and glasses also...
 
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You missed my point - you will have to figure out why are you drawn to psychos, eliminate the reason or deal with whatever issues that needs to be dealt with. And boom! Cured.

Disclaimer: it probably won't happen with 'boom'.

Oh, and another thing - there are all kinds of crazies and there might be just the right combo of craziness in one person that actually works for you! Crazy is not easy to live with but it's doable and in my opinion rather exciting. So don't be afraid:)

mrflowers00 said:
duckeee your not making me want to get into a relationship if i'm always going to end up with some psycho bitch
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I could probably get laid after a few hours of trying right now if I really wanted to. The problem is that this would require me to go fill myself up with drugs and/or alcohol, things that change my personality to one that (though rather foreign and uncomfortable to me) that can figure me into sexy situations. I used to have a lot of fun sex, but that was during my addiction years when everything was, er, sex, drugs and trance (but I'd screw to rock 'n roll...if I had to...). I never felt comfortable the next day, though, because it was a hollow feeling knowing that all of that only happened because intoxicants led us into those settings. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against casual sex/one-night-stands, and actually think that frequent sex with multiple parters can be good for people. I just would much prefer that the other party/parties want to do it with a sober/clean RL and not some character he plays while fucked up.

So the problem is that now, be it for a relationship or something more short-term, when I'm sober I am also very shy and not all that confident. I don't know how to go about meeting people this way. It feels totally foreign and I overthink everything to death. And women don't like neruotic nutjobs as much ;). I do crave deep companionship, good conversations, someone into culture, the arts, philosophy, travel, etc. I don't know if I am ready for a relationship like that yet, but I really crave someone to want RL for all of the good things about him, and not just want his body, to party with him or whatever. I know, I know...sounds so cliche. But that is how it is these days!
 
Stop looking for a relationship and let one come to you. It's the only real way you can ever know if he/she is compatible with you. True love and happiness will find you when the time is right.
 
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