relationship advice please!

[Ds]

I just recently got into a relationship with an amazing girl. someone that shares the same intrest's and taste of music as I do, someone that is very spiritual, and works a recovery program. we are both in NA and most people frown upon that kind of shit because they judge our relationship based on what they see in the rooms or what people have told them.
I truly believe in love at first site, and I believe that a power greater then mine is in active play in our relationship (rachel and I). we woudlnt've of met and shotit of on the first date, and we feel just so comfortable around each other, where we can trust and freely talk about our past, and future together. we've both told each other stuff that woudlnt've told anyone..

I'm such a newbie when it comes to relationships, I've never had one that felt this great. now for my questions..

First, Rachel and I both talked about sex, we don't want our relationship to be based only on sex, and havn't had sex yet. we want it to be such a special time when we do it because we dont want to hurt each other or the relationship. I've learned that if sex is the onlything you want out of a relationship then it's going to fail.. I want a relationship like my grandmom and grandpaw.. that kind where we can be together for like forever.
Now then, I'm having a problem.. I havn't had sex in like almost a 2 years? yeah i know.. theres been times, but was so doped up on H that i couldn't get hard nor get off.
Now that i'm off drugs thats not the case.. so here's my question,
How do I controll myself "erection", when Rachel and I kissed it was like auto-boner in my pants, I didn't like that because i'm sure she must of felt it and i'm like "really...wtf man", and we've been kissing(with tounge ) and its the same story in my pants, over and over. I don't know how to deal with it, and I have Rachel on my mind when we are kissing, but Don't want to have sex, but my dick sure does.
Is there a way to controll that?

Second, I've never been a romantic guy because i've been always to busy doing drugs, or isolating that I never got to experience that kind of shit, so far we've been having a great time with each other, but I feel like she's making all the moves.. like, i kissed her on the cheek first date, and she kissd me on the lips the next, and well i really don't kno whos idea it was to tounge on the third, maybe both of ours. I want so much out of our realtionship, and for that I have to be romantic, which I don't know really anything about.. Any advice for a guy that doesn't drink/drug to be romantic?

There's more.. lol i'll add later, stupid libaray computers only give u an hour to play on the interwebs -.-;
thanks
D's

 

[morpher001]

Sex isn't the only important factor in a relationship, its pretty important though. And romance is nice, but don't overdo it.

I think after 2 years of abstinence you have safely established that your relationship isn't purely sexual...

You shouldn't be thinking about trying to repress your hard-on, seriously... waste of a perfectly good erection. Let it happen, I'm sure she will be flattered by your glorious tower of manful lust and no doubt will sooner rather than later want it doing more than just chilling out in your boxers. Once she's aware that boners are in the offing, wont take her long to warm to the idea of sex.

The future is looking bright. And moist.

Edit: Missread your post, you two just met, not two year relationship. Nevertheless, having sex doesn't make a relationship just about sex. She will be wanting the sex as well as the romance, so the above still all applies.

 

[Tude]

Maybe masturbate before you meet up with her?

 

[OhZvir]

Dude, erection right away from a hot kiss IS normal. Most women understand that. Any erotic stimuli may cause that. You just have a good healthy libido, nothing to be ashamed of or worry about.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. Natural endorphins, closeness to a partner, bonding, there's so much to it. If you love each other the relationship will never be just about sex. You should have fun while you are young (I hope I am taking it right) and you will be like your grandma and grandpa when the times comes. However, most importantly is to do what you and your partner is comfortable with. As you get closer you will get each other's vibes and be just dandy.
In terms of making it romantic.. Engage in activities together, enjoy long walks, nature. Make a good dinner for her, just have quality time together. That will be romantic. Under the term "romantic" I understand things that are supporting the love, providing the bonding. Curling up on a couch watching a movie could be as romantic as dancing under the rain or whatever the classical example of being romantic is.. Just be yourself, be open with her and love her the way you know and are comfortable with. It's very important. Everything will be fine! I happy to hear that you have such a great chapter in life and that you found a soul-mate (from what it seems to be).

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

awww dude I'm glad ya met a wicked lass

The boner thing is totally normal. cumming in your pants wouldn't be hehe.

Being romantic is knowing what she'd like, and doing things.

For instance, I went round this girl's house one time, and saw rose oil...

SO I got her a rose, which I dried, and gave it to her, after I'd made her dinner.

I'm an artist, so I like to paint or draw things for gals, and make mixtapes.

Drew I remember you play guitar? Write her a song maybe... mixtapes are always good - compiling songs with words of what you wanna do with her, stuff that makes you think of her.

Nature walks as he ^ says are pretty great.

Just doing stuff together. If you share interests, then open her mind a bit more, with things you (used to)enjoy, and think she might like too.

Anyways, keep us posted mo'fucker! Big love bro

 

[rangrz]

okay, you get an erection from sexually associated, sensual stimuli. I am looking hard, but failing to see the abnormality with that scenario.

A relationship shouldn't be all about sex. Correct. That statement, however, does not make it so one has deduce that sex can not be a part of the whole, just it should not be the entire whole. So, why not get your fishing rod wet mate?

As for being romantic... well fuck brah, I don't know you or her, so it is hard to guess this, but plan some activities that are fun, somewhat intimate (in the sense of being close to each other and able to talk/etc, not physically persay) Hell, these might not work for you, but are just examples from my own life and might give some idea...? I like taking a girl for motorcycle ride, going to explore some creepy building and taking pictures of it, going trailing on bicycle, or fuck, sitting around and playing call of duty.

The common denominator is I get to hang out with her. Fill in the blank with a hobby that appeals to you.

 

[Lysis]

D's! I've been taking a break from BL playing too much PS3 COD (w00t! 11/11! Can't wait). I just came across this post, and I'm very happy for you that you found a nice girl.

Ima just give you a girl's perspective. lol Really, we KNOW you guys get hard when you kiss us. I'm not sure why guys feel embarrassed when they get a boner from kissing us. We know what is going on. We're not dumb. We know what you want. lol But, I think it's kinda sexy, and feeling a guy's boner while kissing me turns me on.

So, I say let it be and don't hold it back. I'm sure she's no dummy and knows you're into her and why you're getting a boner. I really see no reason to try to hold it back and be embarrassed.

 

[lilczey]

no relationships in the first year bro....

2 dead car batteries dont start a car..

i could shoot NA jargon at u all day bro...

sniizzz

 

[Ds]

thanks everyone for the relationship advice! i made this thread when it was like day 1? since then we've been enjoying as much as possible together! so far been hanging out down town, real artsy/college part of b'ham. making out in the park, hit up the nature gardens here.. today gonna i dunno see how it plays out!
just wanted to thank everyone!
and ya kno since we had sex i dont get that massive boner as much anymore, i still somewhat when her body is pressed against mine when we are making out.
lol czey fuck u

 

[rangrz]

no relationships in the first year bro....

2 dead car batteries dont start a car..

i could shoot NA jargon at u all day bro...

sniizzz

Just to be a nerd... Connecting two 'dead' batteries with V=6 in a series circuit would lead to V=12. Provided you had enough current (which is likely tbh with a small engine and big batteries) volia, you now have the required V to turn the starter at the required speed to start. Conversely, if you have adequate voltage, but not enough current. (Say using two motorcycle bats to start a car) if you connect in parallel, you now have double the amperage A times the Voltage V to give Watts W, likely enough to turn your engine over.

Where is your God now?

----- I had to, I can't stand sayings like that.

and ya kno since we had sex i dont get that massive boner as much anymore, i still somewhat when her body is pressed against mine when we are making out.

Cause your not a desperate, horny bastard? LOL, glad stuff is working good for you.

 

[lilczey]

+2 bro