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Relapsing/anxiety/probation/DUI/25

T

Theprodigaldaughtr

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
1
Greetings,

Not sure where this goes but this is completely anonymous. You can find SWIMs trip report on meth, somewhere on here as: heart attack at 24

Anyhoo... long story short? swim was convicted for a dui, this year, after having crashed me car blacked out on xanax last year (2016), it took a year for SWIM to plead and now SWIM serving probation barely.

But recently back in may SWIM blacked out again on xanax and popped my tires on my newish car(2010).

As it seems SWIM can't handle xanax but they're also kind of mess around with meth.... She smokes meth. But after having been abstinent from it since November (2016)? Theyve been drinking tonight and smoked a little bit ( not even a quarter) tonight.


...it scares them. Meth fucking scares it, but They love how you can smoke it and be wide eyed and full of energy as soon as you hit it. It feels kind of like adderall.

They guess this commentary is for them to allude to the fact that They're possible an addict. SWIM never had serious problems with the law and personal relationships like xanax has inflicted

What do you think? Sober thoughts please

Ps. SWIM has a UA on Tuesday (September 5) ... Shes nervous but confident they'll pass since they've been sober from ervryhgbj since January of 2017.

Don't ask why SWIM has picked up the bottle and pipe again unless you're in for a ramble lol

They're going to na meeting in the noon ugh rip
 
I can't quite get a sense of where you're at. You mentioned that you've been sober since January. But you mentioned a recent car accident due to Xanax and having started back on the pipe.

In some sense, that doesn't matter, I suppose. The only question that really matters is: what kind of changes do you think would lead to improvements in your life?
 
I've wrecked two cars, got a DUI, and have had at least 2 psychotic episodes that lasted 2-5 weeks, mostly because of Xanax, but opiates, coke, Adderall, and cannabis all played a role as well.

2 months sober and I'd have to say that if you are using heavily enough to black out then chances are you need complete sobriety. Adderall is an amphetamine, which I used to take a lot as well, although I've never used meth(knowingly). For someone like me, there is never enough and more is always better. I've take droppers full of acid and at handfuls of bars and opiates only to black out and not remember much. I was chasing a feeling I could never truly hold for when I started to feel good I'd black out. All I was left with is withdraws and memories of feeling relief, but never really being able to experience it fully.

I know 2 months is a short time and relapse is always possible, but I may also be facing probation so for my own legal sake as well as mental and physical health, I am planning on complete sobriety this time. Trying to dabble has only caused confusion, made sobriety uncomfortable due to withdraw and has always led to heavy use IME.
 
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