relapsed on crack a week ago,feeling strange

after 1 years,I smoked rock again the other week.
it was my internal driver,my "dark passenger",that out of nowhere put me in a cab from
where I live to downtown.
it can happen.i thought I was safe with my little life in suburbia.
I was a street dope fiend for 10 years.
I changed,became a father,moved as far away from the drug scene as possible.
I have a normal life.I smoke weed,but nothing illegal.
now suddenly I have this huge unrest in in my life.
this secret.(my wife appreciates the weed).
I CAN NOT go down the crack route.
I rearranged my life to never smoke crack again.
I see my kid a lot.
I have cravings ,but not too bad.heroin was my drug,my love.
it was after the subs I found crack.
i hate crack.
my mind is chaos.
thanx those who read.

 

Hiya,

I'm not sure what to say really, just wanted to offer my support. I'm sure people will come around soon who have experience with crack n can best advise you. You have changed your life which is amazing in itself so maybe focus on that n the positive things that you have / are doing to fight your addiction.
I don't know what to suggest to help with Cravings as I use suboxone to help me deal with those. Have you been to any meetings? Some find these beneficial in that they get support from other addicts, while others think they are triggering n keep people in the addictive cycle.

 

Good luck I hope you are able to get sober. Keep in mind that a relapse or fuck up is not the end of the world. See it as a learning experience. Some people find that going to meetings and talking with an addiction specialist/counselor can help. Or even just talking to friends and family members can be helpful.