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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Relapsed....... Again

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dogsoldier

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 2, 2007
Messages
73
Location
Perth Australia
Hey all.
Relapsed on meth again after being clean for 10 and a half months my dad kicked me out because
He found out when I had a panic attack in my sleep. So iv moved back into my mums place and here I am starting again one step at a time. Why the hell did I do it.
 
Sorry to hear that dogsoldier. To what sort of extent did you relapse? Just a single time or did you use for a few days or whatever? Right now is a very important time where you can not use again indefinitely or start to fall back into your old habits of 10.5 months ago, and for your sake mate I suggest you stick with the former option. That is a huge amount of clean time, which you should be proud of. As to why you did it? None of us are perfect bro. I personally have struggled with both opiate addiction and stimulant abuse, and still can't stay clean off opiates for more than a couple weeks. You.'ve done and can continue to soldier on and beat this curse of addiction. Best of luck man, I know you can pick yourself straight back up, and don't get down on yourself about it as that will inevitabley lead to a more relapses. You're only human. :)

Ash. <3
 
Thanks alot your support meens alot. Only relapsed once. I just hate that feeling i have at the moment of uncertainty of where my life is going.
 
may i ask how you got that much time? like what were you doing to stay sober?
 
I started seeing a psychologist who helped me alot just being able to talk to someone. I also went to a few NA meetings but they just werent my thing. Changed my diet started excercising and lost 26 kilos. Got into a good routine. Life was going pretty good and then I made one stupid mistake.
 
I was taking anti depressents up untill recently and they did not agree with that and more then one member made it known to me. So I didnt have any "clean days" up while I was there which didnt really feel like I was accomplishing much. Also I found it absolutly nerve racking speaking about my problems. I thought that would go in time and I would become a better speaker but it never did. Also it took a hour and half to drive there in peak our traffic then a hour home, because of where I live that was the closest one.
 
I hope you had fun!

I have no experience with meth addiction, but from what I understand, that part of drug culture is really hard to get away from. Well, I will make things very simple for you. Either quit, and quit for good, or keep at it and stop beating yourself up about the fact that you relapsed.

By the way, relapses happen to people sober for decades. It's not the end of the world. Everyone fucks up from time to time. As long as it serves as reinforcment to stay clean, then the experience may not be as tragic as it looks.
 
Hey dogsoldier.

I think its bullshit that the people at your NA meeting were putting you down for being on antidepressants. Just know thats not how it is everywhere; each meeting varies IMMENSELY.

If youre open to it, try going to an AA meeting. There are usually a lot more to choose from, and the idea is the same. You dont have to "out" yourself as a meth addict, specifically, unless/until you feel comfortable. Shit , you dont even have to talk.... Ive been to countless meetings where I just listened. Its just being in a room with people who aren't using thats important.

Most meetings will have a point when they ask people willing to be sponsors to raise their hands or something like that. Even if this doesnt happen, if someone tells their story and you can relate, talk to them after the meeting if you feel comfortable.

Try to avoid comparing yourself to other people. Its not a contest! Focus on what you have accomplished - dude, you had over ten MONTHS clean. Thats killer. And the fact that your mom is willing to give you shelter is awesome too. We dont all have that.

Keep at it. You kicked ass, you can do it again.
 
Just because you took 1 hit doesn't mean you need to take another. It's almost completely unheard of for an addict to decide to get clean for the first time, then never touch any drug ever again. It is completely normal to be sober for a good period, relapse, sober, on and on. The important thing is that each time you get sober you're a little better at it. Practice makes perfect. And again, just cuz you used once doesn't mean you have to make it a full blown relapse.

I feel your pain though, went over a year without touching heroin on Suboxone maintenance, and some NA groups count that at 0 days sober, which is understandable, but I count it as a year. Anti depressants surely are not recreational so anyone who says that doesn't count as clean is a bitter dick who wants to believe he's better than you. Go to more supportive meetings, every one is unique

If I were you, I'd still be very proud of myself for getting 10 months, that's a super long time when you're counting every second you can't get high. Most can't even stand 10 hours or 10minutes sober.
 
Honestly thank you for your guys support it meens the world to me while im going through these problems. Iv noticed every time ive relapsed over the last 2 and a half years alcohol has always played a part. So ive just got to watch that I dont drink as it all goes down hill from there. Its very hard to say no to drinks especially with the australia mentality of drinks after work and even harder with working in the meat work with that blokey bloke mentality. Im going to start going to another NA meeting closer to mums and see how it goes. I just want that light at the end of the tunnel feeling back where everything was on track and going well and im willing to do anything to get it back.
 
You are a very strong person, I know you can get back on track.
One relapse in 10 months... I think you are still doing really well for a recovering user.
Don't let it bother you too much dude. Its just one small obstacle that is now in the past.
 
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